One Night Changes Everything
by AtlantianDream
Summary: An event changes the lives of all of the lovable characters we have come to cherish! Problem is...we all know how much MONK loves change! Leave a review and I might write more! If I don't get many reviews I'll just delete the story!
1. Running Away

Title: One Night Changes Everything!

Disclaimer: The characters from Monk aren't mine. The ones that you've never heard about are. And if the characters of Monk were mine...I would be rich. Instead I'm poor. Don't sue. Thanks! (Plus its my very first MONK fanfic- give me a break!)

Timeline: In the Not-So-Distant Future

Author: (wouldn't you like to know) AtlantianDream

Rating:M and probably worse! If I decide to go graphic I don't know where to put the story! Someone drop me a line if they know a site!

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She slammed the door closed and ran. Natalie didn't stop as her bare feet hit the paved road. Dashing across she quickly brought out her keys and made quick work of unlocking her car door.

She had to get away.

_Oh my God what have I done?!_

The thought repeated to echo through her mind as she finally entered her car, and quickly turned on the car and sped away.

Her hands gripped the wheel tightly as she stared with shocked scared eyes at the road before her.

_What the hell did I do??_

Natalie Teeger was not one who panicked like this, but under the circumstance she felt she was allowed to panic after what had just occurred.

Grabbing her hair in one hand as she shook her head at the horror that she had just caused, her mind was still trying to interpret what had just occurred.

Natalie closed her eyes as she stopped in front of a red light.

"Oh my Gaaaawwd! This can't be happening."

How could she have let this happen? What had possessed her to act the way she did?

Natalie dropped her head to the steering wheel and banged her head against it.

Not in a million years would anyone, including her, imagine what had just taken place. It was unfathomable.

Tears began to find their way through her closed lids as she continued to shake her head. What was going to happen now?

A honking horn startled Natalie, and she gasped, but quickly wiped her tears away and began to drive once more.

She had to reach the sanctity of her house. Had to get as far away as she could. Everything had just been completely messed up……and it was all her fault. Knowing for certain that she couldn't fix the mistake that she had just made, Natalie realized how huge a mistake she had just made.

"Oh God!"

The second she made it in front of her home she parked her car and slammed her head against the steering wheel once more.

"This can't be happening."

Talking to her self wasn't helping anything. But reality was that she honestly couldn't face what had just happened. How it happened at all was beyond her.

Natalie Teeger leaned her head back onto the headrest of her seat and continued to cry. Everything in her life was now flipped upside down……because of her.

What had she been thinking?? Was she insane?! On what planet would what she had just done be considered a intelligent persons actions? None. Because Natalie Teeger had just done the unthinkable, the unimaginable!

Natalie Teeger…………had sex with Adrian Monk!

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Author's Note: You all know you want to know what just happened! Leave a review and I might right more!


	2. Tears and Regrets

Author's Note: Because you guys actually left a couple of reviews, I decided to reward you with a new chapter immediately! Enjoy!

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Remaining in a daze still she entered her home, eyes watery as the tears continue to come.

What had she done?!

Shaking her head she covered her mouth as she tried to calm herself down. She had just managed to screw up the one good thing in her life that she had going.

Monk was a friend. Her best friend. Tonight……tonight she had crossed a line that she should have never even seen for far away it should have been.

It just happened. Because of her!

Why did she even start it?!

Mr. Monk had been scared stiff……and she had pushed him into the act.

"Oh Gawd!" She said again to herself as she sat on her sofa and closed her eyes. Pulling her legs to her chest she leaned her face onto her legs and hid the tears that she cried.

Why?! WHY??

This wasn't like her. It wasn't her at all. Yet, even with the absurdity of what she had done, she knew that she would always remember everything about that night.

Her mind was so filled with soo many different thoughts that she didn't realize how much time had passed since she had arrived home. Suddenly she found Julie standing in front of her with sleep still evident in her stance.

She had grown soo much in the past few years. Becoming a lady right before her eyes, Natalie prayed that her daughter didn't make the same mistakes that she had.

At the moment Julie looked at her through sleep filled eyes with concern.

"Mom are you ok?"

Natalie sniffed hard and stood up.

"Yeah baby I'm ok…just go back to bed ok," saying this with a quick kiss to her daughter's hair.

Julie stared at her mother for a little while longer, torn between sleep and finding out what was causing her mother to cry. In the end, Natalie's nod for her to go ahead decided for her. Her mother would tell her in the morning.

As soon as Julie left the room, Natalie tilted her head up and let out a long sigh.

Everything had just changed. Mr. Monk…Adrian…was not a man that dealt with change well.

But what had happened between them had been more than just change.

Monk hadn't made an advance towards her……but she had done all of the damage herself.

Making her way to the bathroom she stripped down and let the warm water wash over her.

God she felt dirty. Not because of the act itself……but of how she had initiated the act of intimacy.

He wasn't ready for anything like this! He might never be ready!

Starting something with a man like Monk would only lead to disaster. How was she ever going to be able to look him in the eye again?

As she cleaned herself flashes of events from earlier popped into her mind, causing her to cry even more than she had.

God it……it had been incredible. As odd as it sounded……Adrian Monk had been……amazing.

She had always thought that Monk would be disgusted at the act of sex……even now she thought it ridiculous of all the phobias he had, how he slowly accept her advance.

Having stepped out of the claw foot tub, she leaned her head against her mirror.

The moment in which reality set in for both of them had been more than terrifying. He freaked out……completely.

She had stuttered an apology and had run from him as fast as she could, dressing as she ran out of his apartment. And now, she thought maybe, out of his life forever.

God the way he reacted afterward.

She swallowed as the tears continued to clog her throat.

Natalie felt like she had just ruined the best relationship that she had ever had. And why?

Sex.

How stupid could she be?!

Slowly she made her way to bed. Heart heavy with regret and despair, she snuggled her face in her pillow and tried not to think about him.

But how was she supposed to do that? Adrian Monk had become a part of her life. And now she had to live with the major possibility of him never wanting to see her again.

Closing her eyes she tried to find sleep, not realizing that Adrian Monk wouldn't sleep all night.

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Author's Note: REVIEWS!! I live for them! More reviews...more chapters! It's an even trade!


	3. Waking Up

Author's Note: Keep the Reviews coming and the chapters will fly up! I promise! Encouragement is great to get the creative juices pumping!

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Morning came way to quickly in Natalie's opinion. Facing what she had done in the light of day made everything all the more worse.

Maybe it was due to losing him…… only to find he was very much alive. Believing that he was dead had made her feel hollow………empty of all life. It felt like she had lost her husband all over again.

That moment……..that second…… that she saw Leland nod his head……she felt like her heart began to beat once more.

Feeling as though the last few weeks her heart beat had slowed……like life had been drained out of her.

Those weeks, without him, had left her with nightmares for weeks after his return. She never said anything to him. Never spoke of how she had felt……how much it had hurt. The way her anger at the captain has exploded for him hiding the truth from her. From how his death had made her crumble.

When she saw him with that stupid barrel in his hands, using a towel to lift the barrel, trying to cover his face……she had never felt so happy in her life.

She should have known then. The second she had extended her hand with the wipe that it would lead to what happened last night.

Jumping onto him and wrapping her arms around him she had kissed him all over his face, not caring what he thought, purely acting on her feelings.

Last night had just been the result of the emotions that she had felt from back then…to now.

She remembered the second that both of them had finally come back to earth last night. Both of their noses touching and their breaths mingling as both tried to take oxygen into their lungs.

In that instant……she knew what she had done.

She hadn't just had sex with Adrian Monk……..she had made love to him.

* * *

Closing her eyes as she confessed it to herself once more. She had made love to Adrian Monk.

Natalie didn't know how today would go. The way he had looked at her in that small time as they breathed the others breath……she had felt fear enter every fiber of her being. Because the way he had looked at her…..the way his eyes stared into hers……she realized that he was terrified.

He hadn't moved at all, she had……moved both of them.

_God! I even forced him to touch me! _Thinking this she covered her eyes with her hand.

Placing his hands where she had wanted them, showing him how to touch her as his fingers and hands shook……not with excitement……but pure fear.

Having pulled back slightly, it was this movement that had brought him back to reality. The result of both of them……joining together……registered………and he lost it.

His germ phobia skyrocketing so suddenly and fiercely, that she immediately extracted herself from the position they had been in, from how hysterical he had become in the span of less than a second.

"OhmyGod." Murmuring the words in almost the same fashion as when the Captain had told her that Monk was alive. She had said them as she realized what she had done……what she had literally forced Monk to do.

Her fear had made her run. Run as fast as she could from him. Leaving him in that state was easier than staying their as both of them tried to deal with reality.

Crying again she sucked in a shuddering breath. Another shuddering breath and she pulled herself together, sniffling as she wiped away the tears from her eyes.

The worst part……the absolute horrible thing, the thing that made her feel dirty……is how she had started it.

It had all begun……with how he kissed Trudy.

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Author's Note: Tell me if you want a new chapter to explain how it began with how much kissed Trudy! You know your dying to know!


	4. Panic

Author's Note: Well this is just a little bit of what's to come! Some more explaining will happen in the next chapter! Hold on to your hats people...cause the wheels in my mind have been turning! ENJOY!!

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He was panicking. Adrian Monk was in panic mode. Not knowing what to do, all senses discombobulated, he had started to clean his entire apartment.

Last night had been the most horrific experience of his life.

Trying to think of something else had been impossible, especially after what had happened. He had found himself……covered in the after effects of what had happened. He ran into his bathroom and scalded himself with hot water and scrubbed himself down completely, almost screaming as realized all the germs on his body.

While he scrubbed his mind began to try and process everything. He had done the act before……with Trudy……but they had always…..protection……Trudy took care of………he was on top….

His mind had been in a scramble. All the domino pieces had fallen over making a complete mess……and Monk didn't know what to do.

Not sleeping at all, instead he had cleaned his entire house from top to bottom. Even where the horrid event had taken place, which had been in a sacred place. A very sacred place.

He cried as he had cleaned the area, thinking of how he had betrayed Trudy. All night he had thought of only what he had done……and Trudy.

Exhausted he had continued to clean non stop. Whimpering out in the almost pathetic way he did when he was scared. His ticks were back with a vengeance. He hadn't noticed how long it had been since he had them. He just didn't know how to handle everything.

The phone ringing made him realize that it was morning. He didn't pick up the phone. Continuing with his cleaning as he listend to the phone ring over and over, trying to remember the way Trudy's touch felt.

* * *

Leland Stottlemeyer was not a patient man. If anything….he was impatient. And when it came to one Adrian Monk, he was also scared.

He had known Adrian for such a long time, and considered him a true friend. But Adrian Monk was not a normal man. That's not to say that he was crazy……he was just….Monk.

But that day, when Randy had told him that he had called Natalie's cell phone was turned off. Stottlemeyer had turned from looking at the new crime seen to Randy as he said this.

"That can't be good."

He now found himself at Monk's front door step with Randy Disher at his side.

Knocking on the door, Captain Stottlemeyer prepared himself for the usual oddities that came with visiting Monk.

After the few seconds that Monk didn't open the door, both he and Randy looked at each other and both shrugged. By chance the Captain turned the knob to see if the door was open, knowing well that it would be one in a …..

When the door knob turned both Stottlemeyer and Randy took out their guns. Monk always locked the door.

Slowly both took defensive positions with weapons at the ready. The Captain raised his hand extending one finger, then another, and then both quickly entered with guns at the ready.

Finding Monk on the ground scrubbing the grout between his tiled floor with a tooth brush was not exactly what they were expecting, but it was exactly what they found.

Of course Monk didn't stop.

Stottlemeyer pursed his lips and grimaced as he shook his head and lowered his weapon. Randy following his actions.

"Monk! What are you do-ing?"

Slowly Monk actually stopped and looked up at both men standing in front of his door.

Pathetic little whimpers again came strangling out. It almost sounded like he said "I don't know," but Leland wasn't sure, as Monk returned to his task.

_Oh yeah…something happened!_ The captain thought as he let out a sigh, realizing he was again going to go through another Monk meltdown.

Only problem was……………he had a dead woman's body that just couldn't wait for Monk to snap out of it.

Somehow he had gotten Monk to stop scrubbing, pushing him to get dressed and ready to go to the crime scene. All three left as soon as Monk was ready.

He looked terrible - like he hadn't slept all night. Whatever happened it had to be a doozy, because from what the Captain noticed from Monk's behavior……Monk might have gone back to square one.(Watching Monk twitch as he rode in the back of the car)

That's when one thought popped into Leland's head……where was Natalie?

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Author's Notes: Ok people Ante Up! More reviews means more story! A lot of reviews means faster updates! Show me that you want it people!


	5. To Quit or Not to Quit?

Author's Note: Like I promised! The faster the reviews come in...the faster the chapters go up! I promise the explanation is coming...but I'm going to give out little tid bits at a time! I have to keep you guys curious some how!

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Natalie was standing in her kitchen sink looking up at nothing. She had been standing there for the last ten minutes doing absolutely nothing but zoning out.

All her mind kept thinking about was the previous night. Over and over her mind replayed the events. Every touch, every movement was etched into mind so vividly she almost relived the event.

Julie walked into the kitchen and stared at her mother as Natalie stood still with the kitchen faucet running.

"Mom are you ok?" Julie asked as she stood between the kitchen and dining room.

Julie's voice snapped her back to the present.

Shaking her head slightly, she turned the faucet off and turned to look at Julie.

"Yeah. I'm just…thinking about something." Natalie said in a dismissive way, walking over to her daughter with a shrug.

Julie stared at her mother for a few seconds. Determining if her mother really was ok, she stared at her mother. Puffy eyes, slightly reddish nose, and the fact that she was still at home at 8:30 only reinforcing the fact that her mother……was not ok.

It was funny how Julie saw things differently now. Before moving here and meeting Mr. Monk she didn't pay attention to things like she now did. Julie had come to the realization that both she and her mother had changed after meeting Mr. Monk. He kind of did that to people. Made them see things in a whole new light, changing you in the process.

Julie didn't mind. She liked Mr. Monk. In a way……he had become part of their family. It was a nice addition. He had his issues……but everyone does. But that's what made Mr. Monk…Mr. Monk.

"Mom are you sure you're ok? I mean….(Julie hesitated in voicing her thoughts) you're usually at Mr. Monks by now."

Natalie didn't want to lie to Julie. Her daughter was a smart teenager that had unfortunately picked up some attention to detail. Natalie knew immediately it was from Monk's influence on her.

Natalie approached her daughter and pushed back a few strands on Julie's long hair and then put her hand on Julie's shoulder.

"Sweetie…(letting out a sigh) we need to talk."

Julie stared at her mother. The last time her mother said those words……like that……had been when her mother had told her that Mr. Monk had died. Instantly Julie was worried.

"Is Mr. Monk ok?" Julie immediately started to get upset.

"No! No…no sweetie…" Natalie immediately tried to squash Julie's fear, "it's just that… (pausing not knowing how to go on) can we sit down and talk."

Julie took a second before she nodded her head. Whatever her mother wanted to tell her it was pretty important. Julie had only seen her mother act like this two times. Once for what they both thought was Mr. Monk's death and the other had been when her mother had told her that her dad was dead.

Both sat down and sat for a second, as Natalie took a deep breath.

"I ah……I might not be working for Mr. Monk anymore." Natalie began, being as straight forward as she can.

Julie's face immediately morphed, showing that she didn't understand.

"Why? Did you get another job like the lotto thing…"

"No…I ah….(again pausing as she tried to find the words)… It's nothing like that…."

"Well," Julie began, shrugging one shoulder "did you quit?"

Natalie shook her head. "No……not yet anyway."

Julie's eyebrows furrowed.

"Mom….what happened? Did……did Mr. Monk……(stumbling with the words) hurt you or….."

"What?! No…No……god no sweetie(saying this while shaking her head, reaching a hand out and taking Julie's hand in hers, trying to reassure her)… really the truth is……I think I hurt him."

Julie's eyebrows stayed furrowed.

"Well……(again shrugging one shoulder) why don't you just apologize. I mean……we all make mistakes sometimes. Mr. Monk knows that you didn't mean to hurt him……I mean (suddenly fearing)… you didn't mean to hurt him…did you?!"

Natalie straightened in her chair. She was not about to tell her teenage daughter about what really occurred between she and Monk……but the truth of the matter was…her daughter wasn't going to let this go…at all.

"Honey……sometimes it doesn't matter if you didn't mean to hurt someone….which I didn't mean to do……sometimes……(fumbling yet again) sometimes you hurt someone badly enough……that things change between you…..even if you don't want them to."

Julie just didn't understand.

"But mom! It's Mr. Monk……you two are……best friends! You don't stop being someone's best friend because of one mistake!!"

"Julie.."

"No Mom….(stressing the word mom) Mr. Monk's saved your life- and you've saved his. Not many people would put themselves in danger to save someone else's life. No matter what you've done……I don't think that he would stop caring about us."

At the word 'us'……Natalie just looked at Julie in slight shock.

"Julie…..(reaching over and combing back Julie's hair once more) Mr. Monk wouldn't stop caring about you- even if he was upset with me. Me quitting wouldn't change that!"

Julie looked away and shook her head.

"I just don't understand why you can't just apologize for what happened. You can't just leave him mom ( looking at her mother once more she stared into her mother's eyes) he needs us!"

Natalie just stared at her daughter as the words sunk in. It was the truth. She had never really acknowledged it……but it was very true.

Adrian Monk had been abandoned by his closest friend when they had met him.

Doing that again to him……….she didn't know if that was worse than trying to overcome this giant obstacle that she now faced.

Yet as she stared into her daughters eyes……she never realized how a much a part of her life this man had become in both of their lives.

_Oh Gawd…_ She thought as she stared into her daughter's eyes still.

_When did things become so complicated?_

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Author's Note: So what do you think guys? Is Natalie really going to quit? What do you think is coming next? And how did all of this mess really start!

(GRINNING EVILLY) Reviews for the answers...seems like a good bargaining chip! REVIEW!!


	6. Twenty Years

Author's Note: This chapter didn't come out the way I truly wanted it! I might tweak it a bit...but the overall premise is right! Part of the explanation of what happened is in here...and if you don't like spoilers...be warned! This chapter makes reference to a episode that's coming out called Mr. Monk and the Pretty Face. Enjoy!

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Captain Stottlemeyer hadn't been able to get in contact with Natalie….yet! Having called her house several times, he was at a loss at where she could be.

He looked over at Monk and shook his head.

_I better find out what happened before Monk loses it completely. He's to good a man to end up like this._

* * *

Twitching. He couldn't stop twitching. Standing there at the scene of the crime, it seemed like everything around him was wrong.

Everyone could see how tired he was. A mess……that's what Adrian Monk looked like…..a mess. Adrian Monk never looked like a mess……no even at his worse.

As he stared down at the female body that lay on the grass, he had the instinct to pull all of the leaves that had found their way into the woman's hair…out.

Several times now he had tried to pluck them out……but every single time the Captain's voice rang out……and he would stop himself……barely.

How could he have done what he did? On the couch that Trudy would hold him in. Had he no shame?! Why didn't he stop himself??

_Trudy…I'm so sorry. I love you. God I love you._

"MONK!! STOP GETTING YOUR TEARS ALL OVER MY CRIME SCENE!!" Stottlemeyer yelled. He never yelled at Monk!! But Monk was completely out of it. Crying openly in front of everyone.

But Monk could care less……he continued to relive last nights events.

* * *

It had started with Natalie asking about the woman that he had had a crush on.

Of course he had tried to pretend that he hadn't been hurt when he realized it would never work between them. How could it ever?!

Natalie had been trying to convince him that he had more than just a shot at the woman.

"Mr. Monk……how long has it been since you've been on a date?"

The question left him mumbling and looking away from Natalie. Unfortunately for him……she understood him.

"TWENTY YEARS!! Mr. Monk, I think it's time you got out there again!"

"Nooo!" He had said trying to deny the idea all together. Shaking his head and trying to walk away from her he had wound up on the couch. But Natalie was not one to be brushed off. She had followed him.

"Mr. Monk……you're a great catch……any woman would be lucky to get you…..but you need to make yourself more available. Things have changed in the last twenty years!"

"I can't….I can't……I just….(he had looked over at Trudy's picture)…I can't do that to her." Natalie had followed his gaze to the picture. Closing her eyes as she too gazed at the photo, she slowly turned and sat on the coffee table in front of Mr. Monk.

The second she did Mr. Monk made motions not to sit there, but she knew sometimes it was better to ignore him.

"Mr. Monk……she would want you to move on. Trust me. She would want you to find happiness!"

He had looked down at his hands……trying to remember Trudy's hands in his.

"I have an idea Mr. Monk! Why don't you ask her out? Like a practice date."

Natalie suggested as she picked at his shirt, as a small white piece of fuzz had collected on it, knowing that if Mr. Monk saw it he would change shirts so he could clean the one of lint.

"I…Natalie it's been……a very long time(Monk said stressing the word very)….she's a model…I'm not even sure I want to start…"

Before he had been able to finish his sentence Natalie asked the question that had led to his crumbling.

"Mr. Monk……when was the last time you kissed a woman……besides Trudy?"

The question had thrown him for a loop.

He got that blank look on his face….like he didn't want to answer, because the answer itself was embarrassing.

"Oh my God!" Natalie had said as she covered her mouth, realizing the answer.

"Mr. Monk……do you mean to tell me that the only woman you've ever kissed was Trudy?"

Monk began to stammer….trying to cover himself. But Natalie put a stop to it before he could try.

"Almost's doesn't count…."

But what he said next was the honest to God truth of how he felt.

"I can't kiss anyone the way I kissed her."

Natalie had been dumbfounded on that one. Because in all honesty……she knew exactly what he meant.

* * *

That's how it had started!

Her and her pushing ways. All she had wanted to do was get her friend on a date……and somehow...

"Oh God!" Again she covered her eyes as she realize how messed up everything had become.

He had felt that that Leyla, gorgeous model that she was, would never have gone out on a date with him.

"I'm an idiot!" Natalie said to herself.

Gripping the steering wheel once more she closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. Opening her eyes again she tried to figure out what to do now that she had gotten into her car. She really didn't want to go over to Monk's house. She couldn't deal with it right now. Reaching into her purse she pulled out her cell phone to see if the captain had called with the juries verdict on their last case……but stopped short when she found her cell phone was dead.

"Great!" She muttered to herself.

Inserting the charger into the phone, she waited a few seconds before opening the phone up again.

Her eyes had gone from gazing to oversized shock with how many phone calls she had missed.

_Twenty two calls from the Captain!! Did something happen??_

This thought made her think of Monk……if something had happened to him because of her……

She didn't even finish the thought, immediately starting the car and bringing the still charging cell phone up to her ear as she dialed the Captain's number.

"Please be alright! Please be alright!"

She kept repeating it……hoping somehow……he would be.

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Author's Note: You know you want to to know what happens after Monk says he can't kiss someone like Trudy...don't you? Come on people...you know you want the details!! REVIEWS WILL BRING MORE CHAPTERS!!


	7. How to Kiss

Author's Notes: Hey! I don't beg for Reviews! I REQUIRE them! hehehe! I do need to know how I'm doing though, so if you don't mind drop me a line!

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Monk stared up at the tree that was above the victims body as he thought about what happened last night. He remembered every little detail. He was cursed like that.

He remembered how it had all started.

* * *

Monk had been shocked at the way that Natalie had smiled at him, making him feel all the more embarrassed that he had never kissed anyone other than Trudy.

"No……you know what Mr. Monk (she had said with a warm smile), I think it's really sweet how you don't want to kiss someone else the way you kissed her."

He had wanted to end it there, but Natalie just wouldn't drop it.

_Doesn't she know……I'm not really good with people?_

He had tried to get up, but Natalie had pushed him back down, aggravating him and making him feel like a child. Which he wasn't…really he wasn't.

"Mr. Monk…if you're ever going to be with someone else you have to face facts……you're going to have to get over your phobia of kissing someone."

He had been about to deny it, when Natalie stopped him before he could. She seemed to be doing more of that lately he noticed.

"Mr. Monk…you just about crawled out of your skin when I kissed your face. How are you going to react if someone kisses your lips……or better yet……French kisses you." Natalie said as a huge smile crossed her face as she imagined the woman that tried to stick her tongue down Adrian Monk's mouth.

The thought had caused Monk to want to gag.

"Mr Monk its not that bad……you just have to learn how to kiss a woman without picturing its Trudy."

Monk stared at her in that way that asked 'how do you know'.

Natalie had looked at him with this kind knowing face and had slowly explained.

"After Mitch died…(she paused as she said the words) I realized that I hadn't died with him."

Monk had stared at her as he listened to the words.

Natalie had looked down at the ground as she said the next lines.

"I had a daughter that needed me, and I knew that I couldn't stop living my life. I started dating again……and I realized that the men kissing me……weren't Mitch."

He had sat there for minutes processing what she said. Trying to understand if it held relevance to himself.

Natalie had gotten up and had started to get ready to leave for the night, having helped him clean out his fridge after a long day of work.

While she had been away, Monk had tried to……practice……on how to kiss a woman. He had been pursing his lips together when Natalie had walked back into the room, catching him in the act. Laughing at him, he had quickly tried to stop, but Natalie rushed over.

"No…I'm, I'm sorry Mr. Monk." She had said as she again plopped down on the coffee table in front of the sofa, with her hand held up to stop him as she held in her laughter.

Sighing she tried to settle her laughter down as she spoke.

"No one purses there lips like that unless their kissing a child, it's………it's more like." With that she had made a motion with her lips.

Monk had looked at her like she was crazy, but he imitated the act anyway. At least he had tried.

"No Mr. Monk……like this(again doing the motion with her lips)."

Again Monk tried to copy her.

"No…wait…(scooting towards him more she grabbed his head and made the motion for him) up like that."

Again Monk tried, and failed quite miserably. He didn't even want to do this in the first place. He had known that he was never going to kiss someone again.

"Ok……Mr. Monk its……it's like…( she had been soo close to his face by then that she had leaned in on instinct and kissed him slightly)."

Monk had remained with his lips open in an odd way though, she must have thought that he had not understood how to kiss yet and therefore had not moved. But……it was the exact opposite. Natalie kissing, even at the point, had made him freeze.

She kissed him again, this time molding his lips to hers and slowly moved her lips over his.

That's how it had started. That one moment where he had frozen up. When her lips had slowly moved over his in a teasing fashion that he had never experienced before, like…that she had turned her head and slowly opened the kiss, he knew.

He knew at the second that he had betrayed Trudy……because he never thought of her once……….as he and Natalie kissed.

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Author's Notes: Kind of Cheesy? I know! But...that's how I see it folks! Let me know if you liked it!


	8. Worrying

Author's Note: Sorry if you guys are expecting longer chapters! I figure if the chapters are shorter I'll be able to update faster! And from all the rushing that people are imposing upon me...I figure faster is better. This chapter is setting up something in the grand picture of things and gives a little tid bit of the hot and steamy action that occured...without going into REAL detail. Hope you like!

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Natalie continued to hit her head against the steering wheel over and over.

_Why on EARTH didn't I stop myself??_

The obvious answer… she didn't want to.

Pulling herself upright once more as she sat and waited for the light to turn green, she knew she hadn't wanted to stop. If anything……she had wanted more. Way more!!

They had been getting closer in the past few months. Things had happened that had broke them apart and then brought them back together stronger.

Relationships in general are complicated and hard to understand or define, and it was no different for the two of them.

Her eyes closed again as she remembered how his lips had felt against hers. How she had opened her mouth almost instantly, and how he had stiffened at the act.

She had pressed on not thinking at all about his phobias or the fact that he might not want to do this with her. It had been too late for her. The second his lips had touched her she no longer listened to her brain, instincts taking over completely.

Opening the kiss she had very quickly built up the kiss and had managed to put her tongue in his mouth, which made Monk try to pull away, but Natalie hadn't thought that he had been pulling away from her. Instead she followed him, pressing her body to his and wrapping her arms around his neck as she let herself feel his frame against her own, heightening every tingle and sensation her body experienced. Slowly as the kiss had continued she had managed to sit in his lap.

Again she opened her eyes as the stupid light continued to stay red. Squeezing her eyes shut she rubbed both of her hands over her face and to the side. Her cheeks were flushed just from the memory. Remembering the feel of him against her, it was too much.

The car in front of her moved and she quickly shook herself and began to drive once more, the whole time trying not to remember the night before…and failing miserably.

_What else could possibly go wrong?!_

A few days would pass…….before she would regret asking herself that question.

Monk kept moving his shoulder up as he continued or tried to continue to survey the scene. Monk was distracted. Everyone knows that a distracted Monk can not work.

He kept walking around the body. Around and around and around. Stottlemeyer was not liking it one bit. It had been since Monk's suicide watch that he had been this worried about him.

Staring at Monk he realized just how white he seemed. Whatever had happened to cause what he was seeing……it had been big.

"Randy!"

Randy turned around from talking with one of the officers. "Yah Chief?"

"Has Natalie called back yet?" Stottlemeyer said as he stared at Monk. Currently Monk was leaning against the tree crying again.

"No Chief….why?"

Stottlemeyer took a hard look at Monk, he needed to solve this murder……and he hadn't found a damn clue. Monk was his only chance of seeing something important. Instinct was telling him that Natalie had something to do with Monk's current condition. And if he was right……he had a feeling that he wasn't going to be getting a good night's sleep for weeks.

"Keep trying her cell."

As Randy pulled out his cell phone to call Natalie once more his phone rang. Randy looked at his phone.

"It's her."

Stottlemeyer turned and rolled his eyes. "Well pick it up!"

Randy opened his phone. Before he could get out a word Natalie spoke.

"Tell me his alright!!"

"Um…well…" Randy stuttered as he looked at Monk who was again leaning up against the tree next to the victim, weeping again.

"What happened?! Is he hurt?!" Natalie's fear skyrocketing within the few seconds that Randy had not spoke up.

"NoNo…he…he's not hurt…it's just that…" looking up at Monk once more, "I think he lost it Natalie." The words whispered as he stared at Monk. It wasn't often that Randy actually looked beyond what was right in front of him…but he couldn't miss the fact that Monk……was not Monk.

"I've never seen him like this." Randy had whispered the words as he continued to stare at Monk.

Natalie leaned her head on the head rest and screwed her eyes shut as tears once more fell down her cheeks. Relief and fear intermingling with each other as she listened to Randy explain to her how Monk looked at what he was doing.

Natalie tried to pull it together as she held the phone up to her ear and continued to cry. Once Randy stopped talking she sniffled as she tried to reign in her emotions, only succeeding in letting Randy know she was crying.

Randy stepped over to a more private place and stuck his hand in his pant pocket.

"Are ah….are you ok?" He asked concerned.

Natalie opened her eyes as she stared at the traffic in front of her.

_If you only knew…_

"Yeah I ah…I just got scared when he didn't pick up his phone this morning…" She lied ad she fought the clog in her throat. She had too. How could she possibly tell or even explain what had happened to make Monk regress back to what he had fought soo hard to overcome.

Randy had told her where they were, and it hadn't taken a second before Natalie had said that she'd be there.

This was her fault. Adrian Monk was regressing once more and it was her fault. But no matter how horrible she felt……she still felt his touch on her body.

As she neared the crime scene, one question plagued her.

_How are we going to get through this?!_

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Author's Note: I have a curve ball planned for this story and its going to take me a while to get there...but it's a doozey! So how do you think Monk and Natalie are going to react to each other? Let me know!


	9. The Day After

Author's Note: I promise that this is in no way the end of the story...and you will all see that in the next chapter...if you guys like me after this chapter that is. It sounds bad...but really it isn't. Tell me what you think people!

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Captain Stottlemeyer finally found himself walking up to Monk as he had finally settled down some.

"Monk…" Stottlemeyer began, "I don't know what happened, or what's going on……but you need to pull yourself together."

Monk just stared at the dead woman's body and tried to focus. It was impossible though…until the Captain spoke again.

"Listen…Natalie's on her way here and is worried sick about you. Randy said she sounded like she was crying." The captain said as he came closer to Monk, not saying the words soo loudly so only Monk would hear him.

Monk looked up at the captain, processing his words.

_Oh God she's coming here!! Why is **she** crying?! Oh God... I can't handle this!!_

Monk nodded his head once and brought one hand up to touch the top side of his head as he moved away from the captain.

He needed to try and pull himself together.

Leaning back he didn't notice the tree branch behind him, and snapped the limb off the tree. Quickly his arm flew out to keep him from falling down. Suddenly Monk felt moisture on his neck and hand. Looking down at his hand... he found it covered with sticky sap and insects.

"Wipe. Wipe! WIPE!!" He began to yell as he tried to remove the sap but just couldn't remove the incredibly sticky mess. Everyone turned as he continued to yell and thrashing about.

Fortunately for him Natalie pulled up seconds after he had begun his freak out.

Natalie flew out of the car as fast as she could and passed Randy and Leland without even a glance towards them. Quickly she extracted wipes from her purse as she ran towards Monk. He was still flailing about when she reached him, but she quickly grabbed his hands and quickly began to wipe off the sap and insects that had crawled into the mess.

"IT'S GONE!! IT'S GONE!!" Natalie yelled as Monk shivered from disgust as Natalie continued to wipe his hands clean with another clean wipe. She left the wipe in his hand as he continued to wipe his hand.

Natalie quickly extracted another wipe and reached up to Monk's neck to try and get the sap that had fallen on his neck. Neither of them expected the jolt as her fingers brushed his neck. Both felt it. But Natalie was the one that quickly jumped away from Monk. Locking eyes at the same time as she jumped away, Monk realized that she looked away as her blue eyes flashed something that he had never seen in her eyes...at least not directed at him.

Fear. Monk didn't even have time to process it before Stottlemeyer came up and snapped him out of the stare he had on Natalie.

"Monk I _really _need you to focus. The mayor personally wants us this case. We need this one."

But even as Stottlemeyer continued to talk, Monk's eyes went back to Natalie. Her eyes were everywhere but on him.

_Avoiding me._

Monk didn't listen to a word the captain was saying, his eyes glancing from Natalie to the captain.

_Did I hurt her?_

He continued to twitch. Not knowing what the captain was saying and trying to look at Natalie made him look like he had really lost it. He couldn't help it. The idea of having hurt her last night had never even crossed his mind.

"MONK!!"

Snapping his head back Monk squinted as his head pounded at the sudden jerk.

Natalie just couldn't look at him. The second she had touched his neck she had been brought back to last night. In that moment she had been taken back to the moment that she had wrapped her arms around his neck and opened the kiss. Sensations of how he had felt and how his touch against her skin made a firing need and want in her explode.

She had to look away from him, had to close her eyes and try and stop the abnormal behavior she was experiencing. She was afraid. Afraid of what it all meant. Afraid that what had happened had ruined any kind of relationship that she and he could ever or would ever have because of her forcefulness.

When his eyes had locked with hers just a second ago, she remembered that moment when both had been sated. The way both of them had grit their teeth and their breathes mixed as he sweet pain overtook both of them. She had bit down on her bottom lip to actually keep herself from screaming as the sensation finally washed over her.

Electricity had passed between them as they both realized where she had been touching him. Breathing in general had become difficult for her, feeling a rush of heat that she had never really experienced before.

Shaking her head and keeping her eyes closed she tried to snap herself out of this……funk that she had placed herself in.

_Adrian Monk is a great detective…he has the ability to solve crimes by noticing the smallest detail…and he's still in love with his dead wife…_

The thought made her stop. Until then she hadn't thought about Mitch……about how she had made love to another man……and it wasn't him.

Shame again crept his way into Natalie's being.

_What kind of person am I……that I make love to another man that isn't Mitch?_

With that thought she moved away from Randy, Leland, and Monk. At the moment……she just couldn't be there. And Adrian Monk……watched her walk away.

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Author's Note: I know I'm evil...but in a good way! The kind of way that makes you want more! REVIEWS!! I live for them people!


	10. Eye Contact

Author's Note: I know you guys are anxious for this chapter, but I warn you you're going to hate me at the end! I know it's short...but I promise another chapter tonight...IF I GET MORE REVIEWS!! I am E VIL! HEHE!! So ENJOY!!

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Standing by her car she had waited until Monk finished examining the scene from there. Monk had somewhat calmed down and was able to decipher some of the inconsistencies of the crime scene. Every now and then he would glance over at her as his shoulder came up from a twitch. The second their eyes would meet she quickly looked away.

His eyes felt like he could see right through her clothes, realizing that he could probably remember every detail about her body from last night.

At the thought her cheeks turned a very bright red and she looked down on the ground as she held a hand to one cheek and the other supported her arm up.

Having felt the awkwardness earlier skyrocket, she had wanted to leave but knew it would be suspicious if she just left Monk by himself. So there she stood…waiting for the inevitable and praying that no one could tell that every time she looked at him…he mind flashed very unprofessional thoughts.

It wasn't right that all of a sudden things had changed so drastically, that every time she looked at him……the instinct to touch hit her.

Deep down she knew exactly why, and truly wasn't able to allow herself to admit it. Natalie knew that what she really felt had to be locked away……that the events of last night hadn't changed anything for the better……only making more obstacles to overcome. Monk was a good person, no matter anything else people thought of him, he was a good person. Natalie knew he deserved to be respected, even if his wish was to terminate their relationship……she would respect his wish.

_How many times has he risked his life to save me? How many people would do that for a friend?!_

The thought made her realize that no matter what had happened between them, she would always consider him a friend. Adrian Monk had done more for her than any man ever had, without benefits of any kind.

A smirk formed on her lips.

_Well……maybe for the benefit of having someone rearrange utensils with him!!_

Looking up she glanced over to where he had been last and found him and the captain walking over to her.

Letting out a sigh she readied herself for what she had been dreading all night long.

Monk had tried the entire time not to look at Natalie, but failed miserably. Every time he figured out a clue, he would glance up, expecting her to be right next to him- making some remark. Finding no one beside him he had looked over to where she stood. Eyes meeting briefly before Natalie quickly looked away. He would look back at the crime scene trying to filter his thoughts. Yet every now and then instead of his mind analyzing the crime scene- it would analyze the events of last night.

_I tried to pull away! I tried to stop it!! Why wouldn't she let me stop it!!_

For sure it was the ultimate question that kept repeating in his mind. Most people would believe that he would have been completely disgusted with the act…and for the most part they would be right. But most people forgot something that made Adrian Monk…Adrian Monk.

He was very much…a man! Having the same reactions as every other man, he couldn't have stopped the reactions his body had had to Natalie. There was no WAY he could have stopped at one point. As disgusting as the act itself was…Monk had been a man that had gone without it since his wife's death. Not that they consummated their relationship everyday of their marriage……but Trudy had been the only one ever. EVER!!

Most people thought he was nuts to think of his wife's feelings so long after her death, but time didn't stop the way HE felt about her. People didn't get that.

But what happened last night had caused everything that Adrian Monk thought to be truth and how things really were………to be completely wrong.

Monk was never wrong. It confused him.

Again he glanced over and found her blue eyes staring back at him and once again quickly dart away.

Really she didn't look anything like Trudy, both having a completely different temperament, and yet……he did like Natalie – as in her character and charm. Natalie had put up with more from him than anyone ever had.

Remembering how many times she had tried to leave him though left a bad taste in his mouth. In reality though, he really couldn't blame her. Feeling, already, that people always left him made him feel like any minute she would decide to leave – just like everyone else.

This thought suddenly came to the front.

_She wouldn't leave me…right? I don't think I could take her leaving again._

Monk didn't realize how absurd his thoughts were. First he had thought that he could never see her again after what had happened…but now realized that he couldn't live without her! He could barely live on his own. Natalie did everything for him. A few days without her and he was lost completely.

This thought made him start to panic again. The events of last night being overridden and pushed aside by his abandonment issues.

Thankfully the captain decided to wrap up everything as he received a call about another homicide that had taken place on the other side of town.

Monk had been staring at Natalie as she stared down at the ground with her arms crossed, and one hand on her face.

He was squinting as he looked at her- the sun was almost right behind her. Her blonde hair shined and her silhouette was outlined in beautiful shades of yellow, orange, and red. It almost looked like she was glowing. A small smile came to his face but an instant later disappeared.

_I shouldn't be looking at her like that…_

"Monk I have to get to this other crime scene. I have to go." The captain said.

Before Monk turned back around the captain was already in his black car and was starting up the car.

Panic! Panic!!

"Wa..Wait……no CAPTAIN!!"

Monk realized way to late that if the captain left……he would have to ride home……with…

He looked over to Natalie and met her eyes, but this time……she didn't look away. Both swallowed and Monk tilted his neck as the tension in him soared once more.

Slowly he made his way over to Natalie, and stopped right in front of her. Both staring into the other's eyes…fearing what would happen……and fearing what wouldn't happen.

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Author's Note: Come on people you know you want more! Type those reviews and inspire me!! :)


	11. Just Friends?

Author's Note: Ok...I have one curse word in here people...don't faint! I know you guys will hate me at the end of this chapter...but bear with me guys! This is NOT the last chapter...and like I said...I have a few curve balls up my sleeve!

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Monk twitched again. Not being able to stop himself as he stared at Natalie, feeling so uncomfortable – more uncomfortable than he had ever felt in his life….which was saying something.

Natalie tried to maintain eye contact with him, fearing that if she looked away she wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes ever again. It was hard to look at him and not remember his lips on hers.

Bracing her self she let out a huge sigh and swallowed, looking down for one second, she looked back up and found the courage to speak.

"Mr. Monk we need to talk about this…"

Monk swallowed and nodded his head a couple of times. Looking away from her tried to figure out what to say or how to say it. Natalie was doing the same thing, trying to find the right words – and at the moment not finding one word to truly start, start on how to explain how she really felt about what happened.

But Adrian Monk spoke first, and after what he said, she was glad she hadn't spoken first – and embarrassed herself.

"It was a mistake. But! We're both adults…" Monk said as he kept his eyes to the ground, because he could feel her eyes on her, and really he didn't think he would be able to speak.

"……and we can move past it…"

Natalie felt like he had hit her. On the outside she didn't show any signs of how much the words hurt but……she had to take her cue from him. After all…Natalie had forced herself onto him – and the next words shocked her.

"I mean…" Monk began again, "we're both….to blame," elongating the word blame for emphasis, still not looking at her.

"No… oh no Mr. Monk! I…..I forced myself onto you. I did this! I just…I…." Natalie covered her face as she felt herself near tears again, "I'm so ashamed Mr. Monk. I'm soo sorry…"

It didn't take long for Monk's ego to step in after Natalie's words. For some reason the IDEA of Natalie _forcing_ him into having sex with her was just….well…it was just absurd.

"No! Natalie!" Emphasizing the first part of her name, like he always did when he was trying to make a point, "You…you didn't force me (shaking his head in that slow Adrian Monk way)…I made…an _adult_ decision…and…my decision to….(trying to find the word…he knew the word…it wasn't dirty) have sex with you……it was my decision…you didn't force me." Again shaking his head to show that it wasn't true.

The word 'sex' coming out of his mouth kind of jolted Natalie, having used the word herself to describe what had happened, however had immediately known that it hadn't been just sex to her.

It had been more.

Natalie felt the tears trying to break free and now looked away from Monk for a second.

She had to pull herself together.

"You're ah…(her voice wavering some) your right…we both made a mistake…and…"

"It was consensual…" Monk chimed in, his worry of hurting her making him fear that _he_ had…that he had forced her.

"Yeah…and ah…and we should pretend it never even happened!" Natalie said with a serious face, both of their eyes meeting. Hoping that he couldn't see the pain in her eyes as she said it. What she didn't expect was how his eyes had lit up at the words.

"Right! It never happened! (Saying the words with happiness and a small smile) It never happened!"

He hadn't thought of it, they could really pretend it never happened. It made sense. If they pretended it never happened they could still work together…she didn't have to leave him. There would be no need because it NEVER happened.

Natalie held back the tears, not realizing ever, how this could have hurt her. How much it would hurt to know that he felt this way. So she closed her eyes and let out a sigh, sniffling slightly.

"We can still be friends…and you can get a new assistant…" Natalie began but was cut off immediately.

"New assistant…wha..why?" Monk asked, panicking. "We just established that it never happened……and if nothing ever happened…"

Natalie shook her head no for the first time.

"Mr. Monk…I don't think I can..."

"You don't have to quit _us_!" Monk threw in, and it made her look into his eyes as the words hit her.

As she looked into his brown soft eyes she stared into them.

_Shit!!_

Having her own words thrown back at her…those words…at this moment…she realized how the word 'us' was something totally different for her now.

_Why did I have to say that?!_

Looking into his eyes she could see the panic in them. She knew that he needed her. Knowing that he really didn't know how to make it by himself, she knew that he feared losing her as an assistant more than anything.

_How can I work for him after last night?! What if I can't pretend it never happened?!_

But the way that he was looking at her, the pleading in his eyes, she knew she couldn't quit.

Closing her eyes she swallowed the lump in her throat, as Monk waited anxiously for her to say something.

"Ok…" She said quietly, "Ok…(nodding her head) I'll stay."

Monk felt relieved. Letting out a sigh he actually smiled a bit.

"Thank God!" He said and the smile on his face caused Natalie to smirk. She loved his smile…not seeing it often enough made her appreciate it even more, even under these circumstances.

Pulling back from her own emotions she finally smiled a real smile at him. Thankful that he at least wasn't shutting her out of his life completely, Natalie tried to see that as the bright side of everything.

_What am I thinking anyway?! It's Mr. Monk!! It was just a stupid mistake! Just a mistake…_

It's what she kept repeating over and over in her mind, hoping that she would actually believe it. Yet as she saw Monk's content little smile, she knew she had to forget about what happened…or she would lose him completely. Somehow…being just friends…would have to be enough.

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Author's Note: You know you want to know what happens after this!! REVIEW!!


	12. Curve Ball

Author's Note: Here's the curve ball I was warning all of you guys about!! Some of you are going to hate me...but trust me...this is anything but the end! That's a promise! Enjoy!

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Two months had passed since that day. Slowly Monk had reverted back to his 'normal' self. Both of them had slowly left the events of that one night……way behind. If anything…Monk had become…well- better. Monk had been able to touch Natalie without needing a wipe for quite some time …but after what happened…neither of them noticed how much he had been oblivious to her touch. Without either of them noticing they had bonded in a way that few ever could or ever would.

Natalie had pushed the feelings she had down and now was able to be around Monk without feeling uncomfortable. That still didn't mean that every now and then she wouldn't have to squash down the occasional absurd feeling…it was just that after all the time that had gone by, it really was as though it never happened. Yet when a absurd feeling would pop up…she would be reminded that it really did happen. Those days were usually very difficult for her, but she had to act as if nothing was wrong…knowing that Monk had made the ultimate decision for both of them.

But on her rare days off…when she and Julie would do something together…she would think about it. The 'what if's ' ran through her brain all day long on those days. Julie had just assumed that she had been distracted because Mr. Monk had just had something happen to him or something of the sort…but the real reason was that Natalie hadn't been truly able to leave that night behind.

Sometimes she felt this need…when something bad happens to him, to run her hand through his hair, to kiss his head, caress his back – and sometimes she would, but now…things were very different. Touching him now held a whole different meaning to her.

Standing outside of the crime scene with her denim jacket and coffee in one hand, she watched as Adrian Monk again made everyone marvel at the clue he had just found. She smiled a small smile and took a sip of her coffee. Her hair was in a pony tail and she had on one of her long flowing skirts, she was totally content in just watching him do his thing as she stood by in case he needed anything. Just watching him made her happy, seeing him do what he wanted to do made _him_ happy, and she realized that her happiness stemmed from his.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw an officer staring at her. He was cute…brown hair, brown eyes, tanned…very cute. His buddies were talking to him, but…he wasn't listening.

_New guy! Probably doesn't know who I am…_

Bringing her coffee up again she took another sip, not expecting the man to actually walk up to her.

"Exuse me miss…"

Natalie looked up to find the officer in front of her with a tooth filled smile on his face.

"I'm with Mr. Monk." Natalie said as she pointed to Monk with her coffee filled hand.

"Yeah I ah….I know…you're Natalie." He said nodding his head and then stopping to stare at her as he said her name.

Natalie was a little confused at that, and stared behind him to see the officers that had been talking to the man now standing in front of her – they were chuckling and looking away as she looked over at them.

"Listen…I think you're very beautiful…and from what everyone tells me…you're very smart."

Natalie felt her self blush as she looked away from the man.

The guy smiled wider and extended his hand and softly took hers into his hand.

"My name's John Night, and I was wondering if you would be as so kind as to go out with me." He said smiling and staring right into Natalie's eyes.

Natalie looked over at Monk, and back at John.

"I ah…I'm very flattered John, but…Mr. Monk and I are working right now…"

John's face dropped and suddenly realized what he had just done. "Oh…oh I'm…I'm sorry……it was totally inappropriate to do this right now…"

Natalie actually smiled at the stumbling of John's words. He was acting very cute.

"It's just that……well…I'm new to this area…and you're such a beautiful woman that I wanted to ask you out before I lost my chance."

Natalie's smile was still on her face, but her eyes again looked to find one Adrian Monk as he continued to survey the crime scene. Feeling a pull at her heart she looked back at John and smirked.

"I'm sorry…it's just that…my boss needs me full time…and I really haven't had a day off…" Natalie began.

John's face morphed into one of thought and interrupted her.

"Are you saying – You'd go out with me…if Mr. Monk gave you the day off?"

Natalie opened her mouth wide about to say no, but John actually turned and headed over to Monk faster than she could react.

Natalie felt her heart stop as John walked up to Monk. Panic took over as Natalie watched in horror as John began to talk to Monk.

* * *

"Mr. Monk!"

Monk turned around, away from the captain and towards the man who he assumed had called out his name.

"Yes?" He asked as he squinted as the sun came directly into his eyes.

"Sorry to disturb you sir, but I was wondering if Miss Teeger would be working for you on Friday night?" the officer asked.

Monk looked from the man in front of him to Natalie standing near the car. He couldn't see the panic in her face from how far away he was.

"Why?" He asked as he looked back at the man.

"I wanted to know sir, if she would be able to have the day off?"

Monk was lost. Did Natalie do something?

"If she needed it off…sure (Monk said nodding his head as a small twitch came)."

The huge smile that split across the man's face made Monk feel a tightening in the pit of his stomach.

"Thank you sir." The officer said and began to turn, when Monk's voice rang out causing John, Randy, and the captain to look at him.

"Wait!"

John turned back immediately.

"Did she do something wrong? I think you're mistaken if you think she did…" Monk said trying to clarify that Natalie could in no way done………whatever this man thought she had done.

"Oh no sir…I just asked her if she would go on a date with me and she said that as long as you said she could have the day off that she would." The man said with a nod at the end as he turned back around.

Monk watched the man walk back up to where Natalie stood in mild shock. One word echoing through his mind as he watched the man walk away from him…

"Date?!" Bringing his hand up he messaged his temple…suddenly feeling a migraine coming on.

Randy and the Captain exchanged looks, both thinking different thoughts with the same undertone...Monk…….was not happy.

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Natalie had cold sweats and could do absolutely nothing about John as he came back with a huge smile on his face.

"Done. So I'll pick you up at 9 on Friday." With that he walked away and to his buddies – still with a smile on his face – before Natalie could do or say anything.

_What just happened??_

Looking over and back to Monk, she could she him rubbing his temple – knowing what it meant she closed her eyes and brought up her only free hand and began rubbing her own temple.

Suddenly………she knew what Monk felt like when things went horribly wrong. And it sucked!

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Author's Note: Didn't expect **that** _did yah?_ I know I'm evil...and I know you all want me to write more...and fast. By now you guys know the drill!! More reviews means faster typing...REVIEW!!


	13. Driving Home

Author's Note: I'm sorry it took so long for me to update!! I have guests from Italy right now...and of course have to dedicate some time with them! I'll try to keep my updates constant though...as much as I can. I hope you like this chapter...I'm too thrilled with it...but I figured that if you guys didn't like it I could just change it and I won't feel bad about it. ENJOY!

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Natalie steered her car with both hands as she stared straight ahead. Feeling the tension in the car only making her more nervous – not expecting what happened back at the crime scene. Monk of course had said nothing for the past half hour. He hadn't even looked at her, let alone made any indication of John talking to him – even though both new he had.

The traffic of course being as horrendous as it was, was making the journey home twice as long. At the moment Natalie would have done anything to be able to run away from Mr. Monk as fast as she could. Unfortunately for her, she didn't have the backbone to leave Monk in the middle of rush hour traffic and no way to get back home. Never mind the fact that he couldn't drive – more to the fact that she didn't think he knew the streets enough to actually find his way back.

She would never just abandon him. Not now…not after what happened…not after what she now felt.

Closing her eyes briefly she let out a sigh and opened them again. They hadn't moved for the past five minutes, and she didn't know if she could stand sitting in this car with him for much longer if either of them didn't say something soon.

Monk though – he was going over the look on the officers face when he answered him. The smile in his eyes, the way his voice sounded happy at the victory that he had achieved. Monk relived in his mind a thousand times in the past forty minutes since the moment itself. All he could think about was that one minute in time, nothing about the crime scene itself was actually being processed in that time. He didn't know why……but the fact that he couldn't stop thinking about the man…bothered him.

He didn't even know the man's name!! For the first time since that moment he realized that he didn't know anything about the man. When were they going out?! Where would he take Natalie?! What if he was a serial killer disguised as a cop??

A million questions rattled through his mind. Rationalizing why he actually didn't trust the man or why he felt soo uncomfortable with the man going out with Natalie?

Monk knew one thing though…he needed to find out what happened. He needed to see what had occurred to cause Natalie to even want to go out with this man. If he found out that then maybe…just maybe…he might figure out what was causing him to not like this person.

"So…" Monk began startling Natalie causing her to jump slightly, "sorry…I hear you have a date Friday night." Monk said lamely, he really hadn't known what to say and just blurted it out. He always tended to do that when he had an issue with Natalie. Not really knowing why though – he continued to always make situations worse when he didn't think before speaking to her.

_Why is that? I can solve murders and talk to criminals but I always mess up talking with her._

After he had said the words both of them winced.

He really needed to watch what he said.

Natalie had felt her heart in her throat as Monk had spoken out in the silence that had enveloped the both of them for the past hour or so. Expecting him to just ignore her the whole ride home – she never expected him to ask the question he had asked.

Pulling herself together she spluttered out the words as she responded.

"Ye…Yeah…I ah…I don't know how it happened…just………one minute I was standing by the car – sipping on my coffee and……the next he had walked up to me and asked me out." She said as calmly as she could with a wildly beating heart.

Wanting him to understand – she had done nothing to instigate contact with John at all was the most important thing. In no way had she been flirting with him or anything. Swallowing down roughly, she continued to stare straight ahead, as Monk had.

"Ah!" Monk said in means of saying he understood – but really he didn't. Inside questions brewed a mile a minute. Somehow the list became longer with her answer.

Monk looked over at her.

"So what's his name?"

"Oh ah…John…John Night." Natalie stumbled out.

"Night?? What kind of name is that?!" Monk said as he tried to understand if he heard the name right, then after processing it couldn't fathom the name.

At that second the car in front of Natalie began to move, and quickly she put the car in drive and followed swiftly.

A small smile came to her face. "Well Mr. MONK…not everyone has such a unique name as you."

After a few moments of silence Natalie voiced a thought.

"You Mr. Monk, a lot of people that immigrated to the country changed their last names. Maybe that's why the name."

Monk didn't say anything, he just continued to stare out in front of him as they finally began to really move.

"So where are you going? On your date I mean."

"Ah…" Natalie hadn't a clue, " I don't know…he ah…he said he would pick me up at 9 on Friday……but I ah…I didn't tell him where I lived or my number so I doubt I'll…"

At this Monk let out a humorless laugh and lifted his hand up in the air.

"Natalie…(waving his hand for emphasis) he's a police officer…he obviously knows who you are and I doubt that even if he didn't have your address…he won't have any trouble finding it out."

Natalie almost slammed on the brakes at the stop light as Monk's words.

_Oh God NO! Why didn't I think of that??_

Until that moment Natalie had just been worried about what Monk would think about a hypothetical date. Now she realized that John was really going to show up at her house expecting to go on a date.

Cupping her hands around her mouth, for the first time she turned to look at him, as he recovered from the shock of Natalie stopping so abruptly.

"Oh my God! (removing her hands from around her mouth) Mr. Monk I hadn't even thought of that!!"

Monk twitched as he blinked his eyes several times, body still reacting from the rocking of the car. His brain was trying to react to her words but he still twitched as the car continued to move slightly.

Natalie turned back around trying to control herself. Dating someone was not what she wanted at the moment. Not with just anyone at least.

"So you said yes to go out with him?" Monk asked Natalie as he continued to stare at her.

Natalie stared into his eyes and then looked away. She didn't know what to say, because in all honesty - she was flattered by John. Plus John had been so assertive that she hadn't gotten the chance to say no. Even with that though - she knew how she felt - and what the man next to her meant to her. But Monk didn't see her like

"I don't think I really have a choice Mr. Monk. If he shows up at my house what am I suppose to do?"

"Well- you could say no! (shaking his head no) It's not really that hard."

Natalie didn't know what to do.……in the end she just shook her head.

"I don't know Mr. Monk. Sometimes things aren't that easy."

Monk said nothing – just stared at her as she kept her focus on the stop light in front of her. The whole way home wondering why the thought of one John Night going out with Natalie…bothered him so much.

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Author's Note: Well...what did you think? Really let me know on this one guys...I don't know if I like what I did and really want some input on this one! REVIEWS...as per usual I need them!


	14. Living Room Discusions

Finally arriving at the house, Natalie had never been more relieved in her life

Author's Note: This is a great chapter in my humble opinion. As I promised...a small curve ball here on why Natalie MIGHT go on a date with John Night! Oh...and I also wanted to mention the play on words with my character's name...and the title of the story. Yeah...see...some of you didn't pick up on it! ENJOY!!

Finally arriving at the house, Natalie had never been more relieved in her life. The whole time she had felt so nervous and uncomfortable. Monk had said nothing else the whole ride, even though she was certain that he was dying to ask her more questions.

What did she expect really? He was a detective. Asking questions was in his nature. Still she hated to think about what questions he would ask her.

Julie walked out of her room. "Hey mom!"

Monk of course was walking in behind Natalie, and for some reason…maybe because it was spinning in his mind over and over…he blurted it out to Julie.

"Your mom got a date." Monk said. Natalie whirled around and glared at him, but it didn't affect him in the least. If she was going to go out on a date with John – Julie would find out.

"Date?! With who?!" Julie asked with a smile.

Natalie was making motions as if she was going to dismiss the conversation or the idea of the date…but again Monk stepped in.

"A police officer at the crime scene today – John Night. (extending both arms and hands up then down) Apparently he just walked up to her and asked her out."

Again Natalie turned and looked at Monk. The way he said the word 'apparently' making him sound like he didn't believe what she had said to him.

"Mr. Monk that's what really happened!! Men walk up to women and ask them out all the time!!"

Monk shook his head. "Not without some indication of the woman showing interest first."

Now he hadn't meant to accuse her of anything, but that's how it sounded, and from the look on Natalie's face – she had taken it that way.

Monk knew he had just made a big mistake by saying those words out loud and quickly tried to scramble his way out of what he had said.

"You must've glanced over there looking at something else and he must've thought you were looking at him – that's all!" Monk said again with both arms and hands in the air, shrugging his shoulders and having one twitch as he did so.

Natalie knew that Monk was just trying to get out of what he said, but she knew she couldn't have the conversation that they _should _have – because Julie was in the room. So Natalie did the only thing she could. She defended herself.

"Yeah-well- I didn't!!" Natalie staring at Monk with anger and frustration clearly written on her face.

Monk pushed on though, even though he KNEW he shouldn't have. For some reason he couldn't stop himself.

"Well I guess it doesn't matter. He's going to show up here anyway( tilting his head to the side, indicating he was right), and I don't think it'll be easy for you to turn him down then."

Natalie felt like she had been slapped in the face as he used her words against her.

Thankfully Julie had watched the whole thing in fascination – she had never really seen them fight before…it reminded her of…

She didn't complete the thought as she saw her mother make a familiar move with her arms – the crossing of her arms meant she meant business.

Quickly Julie intervened.

"Wait!!" Julie said holding up a head to stop both of them.

Both Monk and Natalie turned to look at Julie.

"Mom?...You didn't actually say _yes_?!" Julie asked, completely not understanding what had occurred.

"No, honey…I said that I usually worked Fridays and that I hadn't had a day off in so long……and then the next thing I know he was walking up to (extending her arm and looking at him) Mr. Monk that I didn't have time to tell him that I actual didn't want to go on a date with anyone right now."

Now this statement caused two very different reactions- yet similar thoughts in both Julie and Monk's mind.

Julie immediately thought, _Why not 'right now'? What isn't she telling me?!_

Monk's thoughts were far more, and traveled faster through his brain.

_She didn't want to go out with him?? She would've said no!! Wait……what does right now mean??_

The information had made him feel better. He didn't really know why – but it really did. Yet the fact that she actually might go out with him still, making him…kind of……angry. Which was really strange…because he didn't know why he felt angry.

"Ok!" Julie said as she shrugged a shoulder, "Why don't you just call him and say that you don't want to date anyone right now?!"

Natalie shook her head with a sigh.

"I don't have his phone number!"

Julie's eyebrows furrowed. "So how does he know where to pick you up?"

Sighing again Natalie explained what Monk had made her realize.

"Honey he's a cop that works at the same station that I'm at almost every day. If he doesn't find where I live there, then he can find out from one of the officers at the station."

Julie just stared at her mother, with a very confused furrowed brow look.

Natalie nodded her head as she said "It's complicated Julie."

"It's _not_ complicated!!" Monk said emphasizing the word 'not'. Clearly upset by the tone of his voice.

"All you have to do is say!!...(trying to demonstrate the scene, by opening an imaginary door and 'starring out') I'm sorry, but I think there was a misunderstanding. I'm not interested." With that he closed his imaginary door and turned his hands up, indicating that it was that simple.

Natalie shook her head. She had thought the same thing until Monk pointed out that he was a cop. Her mind had quickly alarmed her about the implications of how she could hurt Monk if she _didn't_ go out with him.

Natalie knew how the boys at the station were towards each other. They protected each other like Mitch protected his friends in the Air Force.

If she didn't go out with him, she feared that he would hurt Monk's chances of being reinstated by spreading rumors in the department. Knowing that no matter what Randy or the Captain tried to do to stop them, she knew how fast rumors could damage a person's reputation.

Going through the experience once before, she knew that this date was not as _simple_ as everyone thought.

All she wanted to do was protect him. All of them really.

"I don't think that's a good idea Mr. Monk. Men don't take rejection well." And that's how she left it. Walking out of the living room and through the kitchen to her bedroom she closed the door.

Julie and Monk watched her leave, and then both turned to look at each other. Both communicating without words one thought.

There was something………that Natalie/mom ….was not telling them.

Author's Note: I KNOW!! I KNOW!! You want more!! Well...you know the drill...the more reviews...the faster I write!! REVIEW!!


	15. Friday Night

Author's Note: Ok...this chapter is basically a bridge to the date...but I really like the end of it! ENJOY!!

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For the next two days, Natalie didn't hear the end of the so called 'date' that she was suppose to be going on. Julie – for some odd reason - was curious as to why she had to go out with 'this guy'. Natalie of course did not inform Julie of her fears as to why she thought she needed to go out on a date with Night.

Monk had not been any better – if anything he had been worse. Really she didn't understand why. After what had happened she had hoped that Monk was actually jealous of Night. Of course Monk had opened his mouth and made it very apparent that the only reason he didn't think she should go out with the guy was because it would 'distract her from work'. He had even brought up the time she had quit because she liked the attention she had gotten by being the lotto girl.

Of course she would never admit to him how much it had hurt her to say that she quit. How she never could have pictured herself with him before - how impossible it seemed that she would want to be with him. Now though...now it seemed that even if she felt this way, he never would. How could she blame him really? The last couple of months had had many ups and downs for both of them. Both had the 'potential relationships' suddenly pop up...and both had been let down because of them.

Things had changed...and she just now realized how much. Monk had been a friend - a best friend - for the longest time. It had never crossed her mind for him to be more than just a friend. But right now, thinking back on all that they've been through together, she honestly could say that it had been inevitable.

With a raised brown one eye squinting she remembered how he had said he wasn't use to being around attractive women. Staring at herself in the mirror at the moment she wondered if he really didn't see her as attractive. Wearing a white and blue dress that came down to a few inches above her knee, and blue high heeled shoes, and a complete set of pearl jewelry she stared at herself and thought that she at least was pretty. Letting out a sigh she continued to stare into the mirror at herself. If there was one thing she felt at the moment it was unsure.

Unsure of what all of it meant. At the moment her feelings on one Adrian Monk were confusing at best. She knew she cared for him more than she should...but she didn't know if he _could_ ever feel the same about her. Tonight, she resigned herself to go out with Night, telling herself that it was to protect Monk. Knowing that reinstatement into the force was what he still dreamed of - she wouldn't want to jeopordise any possibility of him not being reinstated because of her.

One more sigh left her body before she decided to brave the storm that she knew would come the second she stepped out that door. Knowing that Julie and Monk would be on her immediately.

Touching up her make up one last time, she quickly resolved herself to not tell either of them the true reason she was doing this. Quickly she walked out her bedroom door and found Julie leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, the second she saw her mom she quickly straightened and smiled.

"Nice dress. Is it new?" Julie asked with a large amount of teasing in her voice.

"No! I just haven't had any chance to wear it."

"SURE!!" Julie said as she nodded her head, still smiling she walked away.

Monk was in the kitchen reorganizing the pantry. It wasn't that it was a mess or unorganized, just that the labels didn't all go in the same direction - which drove him insane.

Smiling she stepped into the kitchen. "Mr. Monk are you sure you'll be ok here with Julie?" Seeing Julie about to protest about to protest she pressed on quickly.

"I know you don't need a babysitter but I still feel better if someone were here with you-especially after what happened last year!!" Natalie exclaimed.

Julie crossed her arms and rolled her eyes as she let out a sigh, "Fine!"

Monk turned to stare at her and noted that she was dressed 'up'…his mind quickly added that she wore pearls and a white blue dress, her blue eyes sparkled and her smile reminded him somehow of Trudy's…snapping his eyes away he nodded his head with a shrug of his shoulders, turning his eyes back to the pantry. He didn't say a word…knowing that it was Friday night and the inevitable was about to happen.

"Mr. Monk's happy reorganizing the cabinet's mom." Julie said next to her mother.

Natalie pulled her daughter aside. "Be sure he doesn't eat anything after ten. He gets grumpier than a two year old. And please don't make a mess just to see how clean he can make it!!"

Julie quickly pulled away from her mom holding up both hands to ward off any further instructions. "Mom! I know! And I haven't done that since the first year we met him."

Natalie gave her a patented 'you better not' look.

The door bell rang causing all three to turn and stare at the door. All not believing that Night actually came…still not surprised that he had.

Monk and Julie walked behind Natalie as she went to open the door. What greeted them was one John Night with a huge mega watt smile with white shiny teeth and gleaming brown eyes.

"Wow! Natalie! You…..you look great!!" John exclaimed as he studied Natalie head to toe. John wore dress pants and dress shoes topped off with a black dress shirt and tie. His forearms bulged out from his shirt, showing how truly fit he was. Not to mention the fact that he indeed was tall. Natalie was a foot shorter than him.

Monk though was not intimidated though. Brawn was nothing compared to brain. Yet Monk knew that looks always outweighed all things. He should know…sight was one of his main tools, and while he had gone without it for a short period of time- he had learned just how important it was to him. If something attracts the eye it's harder for other things to attract the person to an object….or in this case - person.

"Thanks. You…you look good yourself!" Natalie said with far less enthusiasm. Really she couldn't help it. By all accounts John was a very good looking man, and even though a little over two months ago she would have been ecstatic to go out with him – now…now she felt like she was pretending that he was another man…the one that was currently standing behind her and could feel his eyes boring into the man in front of her.

Turning she began "Uh…John...I think you know Mr. Monk."

"Hi." John said with a shameful smile, "I um…I'm sorry about what happened Wednesday Mr. Monk. I know (raising his hands with a bouquet of flowers in one hand) how unprofessional it was but ah…(glancing back at Natalie and smiling) you can't really blame me for wanting to go on a date with her could you?"

Monk shrugged and muttered "Sure I could…" and resulted in Julie elbowing him slightly.

"This is my daughter (grabbing Julie and placing her in front of John) Julie." Julie extended her hand with a small smile.

"Hi."

"Hi Julie! I've heard a lot about you. Everyone down at the station told me how protective of you everyone's become. You must be some special kid…" John said, still with a smile on his face.

Suddenly Julie understood why in the past few days Mr. Monk had been irritating her mother about going on a date with this guy! At first glance he seemed ok…but the more he talked…the more deceived she felt…….why was that?!

Julie gave a fake huff laugh and quickly stated "Yeah. It happens when you practically live at the precinct."

With that Natalie pulled Julie back into the house and gave her a glance, as Julie made a face, turning back to John she was about to speak when Monk chimed up.

"So I hear you were just transferred from New York. (Fake grin with a tilt of his head) Quite a big change huh?"

Natalie and John looked at Monk kind of shocked.

_I should have known he'd check up on him. This is Monk after all! _

Natalie should have known all right. She should have also known that Monk was very suspicious of the man. Monk trusted few people in his life…and instinct was telling him that John Night was not one of those people.

"Yeah ah…the 'Big Apple' ( he said laughing) what can I say! It just got to be too much for me."

Monk nodded his head as if he understood, when in reality he was wondering why certain files of John's were sealed.

Both men stared into the other's eyes……speaking without words…the meaning in both eyes clearly understood to both of them. Men had that communication between them on certain issues…and this one in particular…this one of 'I don't believe you and if you hurt her I'm coming after you' was surprisingly found in Monk's eyes.

Monk didn't know he had done this though. He had only thought he had communicated that he didn't trust him…but John had read the other message loudly, and had slowly let a different smile grace his lips. One that showed self confidence and certainty that he was not in the least threatened by Monk.

"Well…where are we going tonight? I hope I didn't dress up to much…"

"No no…(John interrupted her as he turned his gaze from Monk) your dressed perfectly."

Monk had turned and retreated back into the kitchen. For some reason he had found his hands in tight fists and was now trying to get blood circulating back into them.

Julie again stepped beside her mother and butted into the conversation.

"Are you going to dinner somewhere?" She asked semi casually. Saying the words as if she didn't care what the answer was.

"La Via.( John said with a nod of his head) It's a little Italian restaurant I found downtown…the foods great and the atmosphere is incredible." John said making an 'ok' symbol with his hand.

Before Julie could respond to John in any sarcastic way Natalie quickly kissed Natalie goodbye as she grabbed her purse from the coffee table near the couch.

"I have my cell if there's an emergency, and be make sure…"

"I know! I know! Make sure Mr. Monk gets to bed before eleven or he'll be useless tomorrow!!" Julie said exasperated.

"He never makes it passed ten twenty……I really don't know why you even bother warning me…" Julie continued as she walked her mother out the door.

Natalie turned and grabbed Julie's head once more and kissed her forehead as she stared into her daughter's eyes again.

"Just in case you forget and something happens." Natalie explained. With another kiss she turned and said "Be good…" as she and John walked to his car.

Natalie closed the door and locked and leaned against the door as she stared up to the ceiling.

Julie didn't understand why her mom was going out with this guy, but understood now why Mr. Monk didn't seem to like the idea of them going out at all.

Walking into the kitchen she watched Mr. Monk continue to organize the cabinets for fifteen more minutes before she faked coughed to get his attention.

"Do you want to go spy on them?" She asked casually.

Monk turned to find Julie looking up at him with a strange look on her face.

Yet the thing that struck him the oddest...was how to answer her question.

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Author's Note: YOU KNOW THE DRILL!! REVIEWS IF YOU WANT THE NEXT CHAPTER!!


	16. Spying

Author's Note: Sorry about the hold up! I live in Florida and my street got flooded in because of Fay! To say I have some issues on my hand is an understatement!! I'll try to update as fast as I can but...I have to do damage control...literally! I hope this chapter is confusing and annoying, and a little heart wrenching...at least that's what I was going for. Enjoy!!

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Monk quite didn't know what to say to Julie so he just turned and continued to reorganize the cans.

"I don't think your mother..."

"Ohh come on Mr. Monk!!" Julie quickly exclaimed.

Again Monk turned to look at her.

"If she see's us…" he began again.

"She won't!!" Julie quickly cut him off.

"We don't know where she went…"

"La Via Italian restaurant. I know where it is!!" Julie insisted.

Monk just stared at the teenager before him, wondering for a few seconds when she had become so much like her mother.

It was inevitable……he caved!

A few more seconds of those blue eyes on him and one shoulder twitch later Monk began to nod his head.

"Ok…"

Even as he nodded his head he didn't understand why he wanted to see what was going on with Natalie's date……as much as he did.

It's not that he didn't believe that Natalie could take care of herself………it was something else…….something else entirely………and for the first time in a long time…….he had no clue what it was.

Julie's smile exploded onto her face and before Monk could react Julie was jumping out of her chair and hugging him desperately.

"Thanks Mr. Monk!! You have no clue how badly I wanted to drive over there and see what's happening."

At the words Monk was startled.

"Wait! Wait! Are you saying that you want to drive down there?!" Monk asked. The thought hadn't popped into his mind.

Julie nodded her head.

"As in _you_ driving and me in the passenger seat…." Monk said motioning with his hands in a circle with a little grimace.

Julie nodded her head not looking at Monk, but digging into her pockets for her car keys.

Monk had been shrinking back at the thought of Julie driving him anywhere when the next question she asked quickly had him changing his mind.

Julie grimaced and looked up. "You don't think she's already kissed him……do you?"

Monk looked into Julie's grimacing face for five seconds before quickly saying "I'll be in the car."

Monk began going towards the garage and Julie was on his heels quickly. Soon both were heading towards La Via restaurant.

It was odd to her. This feeling she had when she looked into John's eyes. Whenever he would say something sweet to her and look into her eyes……she could have sworn that it was Monk looking at her with that look in his eyes.

They were currently in the little Italian restaurant and had just ordered from the very handsome waiter that had told them the specials of the night. The whole time she had been on this date she had thought about Monk, yet she was able to maintain conversations with John as if she was solely focused on him.

It wasn't that John had been anything less than the perfect gentlemen……it was just……this wasn't place and person she wanted to be at…or with. Admitting to herself that John was what she had been looking for in a man not three months ago seemed somehow incredibly ironic. Now…now she didn't know what she wanted.

"And I told the guy that he was just out of luck!!" John said laughing.

Natalie of course laughed along with him, not really having followed the whole story. In all honesty she was bored, but shockingly what he said next peeked her interest highly.

"So ahh……you've been Adrian Monk's assistant for a couple of years huh?" John asked with a laughing smile.

Natalie's head jerked up and she shook her head slightly. "Sorry just……that came out of nowhere."

"Yeah well…I can see it in your eyes that I'm starting to bore you.(lifting his hand up and dropping it) I figured if we started talking about something that might interest you I won't ruin this date!" John said with a very kind smile.

Natalie shook her head mumbling "I'm sorry." Letting out a sigh she closed her eyes and then opened them to find John waiting patiently for her to speak.

"I'm just worrying how Julie is handling him 'babysitting' her."

John laughed with a huge smile on his face. "Isn't Julie about to turn seventeen?"

"Ah! Don't remind me!" Natalie said with an actual smile coming out.

"She really doesn't need a babysitter at that age. I figure Mr. Monk is being baby-sitted by her instead." John said with a smirk.

Natalie actually took offense from the statement, but reality was - it was probably true. Not that he needed babysitting…but Monk tended to drive people insane with his OCD.

Still she didn't show that she was offended and just responded with a "Monk can take care of himself."

What he said next felt like a slap in the face for Natalie.

"Everyone in the precinct says that Monk's never been the same without his wife. (Huffing) Man…could you imagine losing the love of your life like that?! Murdered and not even the best detective in the force – who happens to be her husband – can solve the murder!" John said with wide eyes as he leaned back in his chair.

Natalie had to actually calm herself before opening her mouth, truly fearing that if she didn't, she would either yell so loud and get herself thrown out of the restaurant or she would slug John right there and then.

"Mr. Monk is the only one who has been able to find any clues on Trudy's case. His closer than anyone has ever gotten. I mean…how would you feel if you were working on your own wife's murder case?!" Natalie said the last question hotly.

John held up both hands. "Whoa…I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!" John apologized quickly.

Natalie was giving him her patented ticked off stare.

John shrugged his shoulder and spoke softly. "All I meant was...(sighing out) could you imagine losing the love of your life...knowing that she was the only woman that you would ever love or ever want to love?! I mean...everyone at the station tells me that he's still in love with her...and recently thought had was in love again but something happened. Everyone tells me that even when...his love for Trudy is still strong. I don't think he could ever love anyone else...that's...that's all I meant!!"

Natalie felt herself crumble at the question. John was right...Monk...Monk still loved Trudy like she was still alive today. Even though she understood how he felt...she had had to move on. For her sake...for her daughter's sake. Monk couldn't move on...he was tuck in one gear...and he didn't have the ability to shift gears.

"Are you ok? I really didn't mean to upset you?" John said with concern in his tone.

"Yeah (waving her hand)...I'm...I'm ok. just...just realizing what you said is very true." See looked away as she touched the back of her hair and then as soon as she pulled herself together back into John's eyes.

"I'm sorry...I know he's your friend and boss...I didn't mean to make you upset." John said with kindness in his eyes as he leaned over the table and reached for her hand on the table, softly caressing it.

Natalie looked down at their hands together, realizing for the first time that she had been deluding herself for thinking that Adrian Monk would ever change.

Glancing up she looked into John's eyes and realized that she could actually have a relationship with John. John had shocked her in being a caring man...he didn't seem to have any malice in him - like she had suspected.

She didn't see Mitch when she looked at him...but she didn't see Mitch when she had been with Monk either.

But Natalie didn't have time to wonder long on anything as John leaned over slightly and kissed her.

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Julie and Monk had been sitting in the car across the street from La Via, watching from the car the events taking place in the restaurant. A clear view of John and Natalie sitting at their table since their table was close to the large window.

Julie had been watching for a while as Monk continued to clean her car with his wipes. Julie had rolled her eyes at his criticism of her driving and car. Several times during the drive there he had yelled out to 'watch out for that car', or 'how fast are we going', 'are you sure the brakes are fine'. In the end she had ignored most of what he said, and had gotten their in one piece. She now understood why her mother always drove him and not let _her_ drive him someplace.

Julie was actually grateful to her mother at that moment.

Monk continued to clean her car, wiping meticulously at the dash in pure concentration. But with Julie's gasp, he immediately stopped.

"Oh my God!!" Julie said as she stared at her mother kissing John.

Monk looked up and stared. He watched as Natalie's eyes closed and the way she tilted her head into the kiss. Monk felt something in him twist and burn. Seeing her kiss John made something in him switch on...he felt...anger. He didn't acknowledge why he actually felt angry...but he knew he couldn't sit their and watch anymore.

Turning and staring ahead he blinked several times and said "I think it's time to leave..."

"But Mr. Monk..." Julie began.

"JULIE!...(he turned and stared into her eyes) It's time to go...(saying it calmly and slowly)" He hadn't meant to snap at her...the way she her eyes had opened wide as he yelled at her making her listen and slowly turn and start the car. Both driving back home confused and uncertain as to what the future held for them.

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Author's Note: DON'T KILL ME!! I Promise things will work out! You just have to go with it for right now!! REVIEW!!


	17. Because

Author's Note: I know most people have been complaining about update speed, but others were complaining about chapter length...so this is the longest chapter I've written in response to those that wanted a longer chapter!! Tell me which you prefer!! Longer chapters? Or Faster updates?

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Allowing herself this moment of delusion she continued to kiss John…but it wasn't John she was kissing

It had probably only meant to be one sweet kiss. But the oddest thing happened...

Realizing that she didn't see Mitch when she had been with Monk, or had been looking at John she had felt secure in the idea of a possible future with John. But the idea when out the door as John kissed.

Mussings over a possible relationship with John had been closely backed by the image of Adrian's face in her mind.

Allowing herself this moment of delusion she continued to kiss John slowly…but it wasn't John she was kissing. Her mind……her heart…made her imagine it was someone elses lips kissing hers lovingly. The emotions she felt in that moment overwhelmed her. Close to tears she kept her eyes closed as she continued to feel the lips move over hers. The sweet feel of his lips against hers, it made feelings she had buried two months ago surge up from deep inside her as he hesitantly kissed her.

Maybe it was that reason that she could delude herself into imagining that Adrian was kissing her. The way his lips hesitated over her own with such uncertainty……it was the same as all those months ago. She had kept her eyes closed back then and missed the look in his eyes. Those beautiful eyes of his that could tell her exactly how he felt……eyes that made things inside her shake and crumble down. Wanting to feel that, wanting to see what he was feeling, she had opened her eyes and had stared into brown eyes that made her think it was Adrian……………for just a second.

The brown eyes were shocked but……they weren't his……and she new it.

Half closed eyes opened wide and she found herself staring wide eyed at a very shocked and dazed John Night. The look spoke of how intense the kiss had been. Because it had been a kiss that spoke of a deep love……which he could have never expected on a first date from anybody.

John's word came out slowly and whispered… "woah..."

John stared at Natalie, looking scared even as Natalie pulled herself together.

A huge flush spread across her face as she realized what she had just done. Apologizing with mumbled words she didn't give John the opportunity to say or do anything as she quickly grabbed her purse and ran out of the restaurant.

Within a few minutes she had a flagged down a taxi and quickly instructed the driver to take her home.

Julie felt worry build inside her as she watched Monk clean the dishes. This was a very normal thing for Monk…except they were the dishes that had already been deemed clean and placed in the cupboards.

Having started almost immediately after walking through the door, he had already cleaned two cupboards full of dishes. Personally she had never seen him clean so fast…he was usually extremely meticulous when he cleaned anything. Honestly she had no idea why he was acting this way……unless the sight of her mom kissing John really upset him more than it should have.

Julie sat at the dining room table and watched Monk for a good twenty minutes before the opening of the front door caused both to turn and stare as Natalie walked through the door. Julie quickly glanced over at the clock on the wall and realized that her mother was home extremely early.

"You're home early!!" Julie exclaimed as both she and Monk stared at Natalie.

Natalie looked from Julie to Monk and noted something in his eyes, but before she said a word he had turned back and continued to clean. He looked angry for some reason.

Putting down her purse on the couch she walked over to Julie.

"Please tell me you behaved yourself like I asked you to!!" Natalie said to Julie. Natalie had thought that maybe Julie was the reason for the anger in Monk's eyes. She could have never imagined it was because of her.

"Julie behaved herself…" Monk said to Julie's defense as he continued to keep his back to both women, "unlike some of us." He whispered out the last part.

Natalie heard him say something else but was uncertain what exactly he had said. "What?" She asked.

Shaking his head he murmured "Nothing…"

Natalie let it slide and soon turned to stare at Julie. "You maybe seventeen but it's still a school night…"

Julie opened her mouth and protested. "Mom! I'm seventeen now, don't you think I can judge when I go to bed."

"Actually," Monk finally turned around and spoke, "I need Julie to drive me home."

Both Natalie AND Julie looked at Monk in shock.

Natalie blinked several times and then shook her head "Wait! You want Julie to drive you home??"

Monk nodded his head slightly and looked over at Julie, trying to avoid Natalie's eyes all together.

"Why?! I can drive you home Mr. Monk! It won't…"

"I'd just prefer it if Julie drove me.." Monk interrupted Natalie and this time kept his eyes locked with Natalie for a few seconds before looking at a very confused Julie.

Julie remembered how when they had finally arrived at La Via restaurant that Mr. Monk had said that he needed to remember not to ask her to drive him anywhere.

Natalie though…knew exactly why Monk was acting this way. He had been against her going out with John from the very beginning. In the years she had known Monk she had learned one thing……….Monk was stubborn. Now as she looked into his eyes she knew who the anger was directed towards.

It was directed towards her. And the only thought that traveled through her mind at the realization was……._That's not fair!_

Natalie had gone on the date thinking that she was protecting them all! Fortunately it turned out that John was actually a nice guy. It wasn't fair that he got to be angry at her.

Crossing her arms she stared at Monk and let her own anger at him come out……because she herself had many reasons to be angry at him as well.

"Mr. Monk Julie has to go to school tomorrow morning and it's already late.."

"It's only 10:30." Julie said, completely against the whole curfew idea at her current age. How could she have known that this argument was not what it seemed.

"NO! Mr. Monk I'll drive you home, but Julie needs to get ready for tomorrow." Natalie said as she went over and grabbed her purse as she stared at both Julie and Monk.

Monk shrugged a shoulder and said "Fine." Not meaning the word at all from the attitude that he was displaying. Julie rolled her eyes and got up from the table and went towards her room.

Natalie stood there with her arms crossed as Monk walked passed her. Both had stiff body language.

Natalie then followed him out the door.

Neither of them spoke in the car. Both of them angry at the other. Natalie though knew exactly why, but Monk…..Monk didn't know the real reason. He thought it was because Natalie had said that she didn't want to go on a date with John…but then she went out with him anyway. Monk didn't realize that even with that excuse……he had no real reason to be angry at her.

His mind continued to replay the way she had kissed John over and over in his mind. And every time the anger in him grew. He didn't know why and he didn't know he was acting irrational.

"So how was the 'date'?" Monk asked as he tried to keep his anger out of his voice and not look over at her.

Natalie was startled from him actually speaking but quickly overcame it.

"It was ok…John's a nice guy." Natalie said as she continued to stare ahead.

Monk huffed out a laugh and turned his head towards the passenger window murmuring "I bet he is."

Unfortunately for him, the car was small and very confined, so Natalie heard exactly what he said.

Natalie's head titled and her eyebrows furrowed "Excuse me?!"

Monk closed his eyes briefly, realizing she had heard him. Turning he looked at her.

"I don't trust him." Monk said frankly.

Natalie had turned her head and stared into Monk's eyes, which she saw had turned almost black with accusation in them.

"Yeah well….I think he's a good guy Mr. Monk. He wasn't anything but a gentlemen tonight."

Monk's mind immediately replayed the sight of her kissing John and saw how gentlemanly John had acted.

"Right," Monk said nodding his head and turning to look out his window then turned back to look at Natalie as she continued to drive "is that why you kissed him?!" The question was accusing in nature and the anger in it was also shocking. Yet the question also did something that Monk didn't want Natalie to know.

Natalie slammed on the breaks causing people behind them to honk their horns. Swiftly she placed the car in park and turned and stared with anger at Monk.

"You were spying on me??" Natalie asked with anger, trying to hold back the feeling of her stomach dropping at the knowledge that he had seen her kissing John.

Monk squirmed, knowing he had mistakenly informed her that he indeed _had_ been spying. Quickly he said the first thing that came to mind.

"It was Julie's idea..."

"JULIE!! Mr. Monk are you trying to tell me that you were both spying on me?!"

Monk twitched and touched the rear view mirror with his finger, but Natalie slapped his hand away awaiting a response from here. Monk could see the anger and disappointment in her eyes, but really he felt like he was doing what any friend would have - he was looking out for her.

"We were both worried about you..." Monk began slowly, "we wanted to make sure nothing bad happened to you.."

"Mr. Monk I understand that your worried about me - but that gives you no right to invade my privacy..."

Getting aggravated Monk's anger came out. Twisting he stared at her as his hands shot up and to the side of him.

"I DON'T TRUST THE GUY!! I don't like the idea of you seeing him Natalie...there's...there's something wrong about all of this." Monk said as he held his hands up in front of her, trying to explain what he was trying to really tell her.

Natalie nodded her head and looked away and then back to him. " Yeah well...I like him Mr. Monk."

It was a lie, but Monk had no right to dictate to her who and who she couldn't date, even after everything that happened between them.

Natalie was about to turn back and drive again when Monk spoke again.

"You didn't even WANT to go out with him!! I'm sorry (gesturing with his hands and a swivel of his head in exageration) that I don't understand why you wanted to even kiss him!"

And the words came out of her mouth before she could stop them, and it hit both of them hard at the reality of the words.

"BECAUSE I CAN'T KISS **_YOU_**!!" Natalie yelled out and then squeezed her eyes shut and felt the tears in her eyes and crossed her arms and brought her hand up to wipe away the tears as she turned and looked out her own driver's window.

Monk just stared at the back of Natalie's head, and tried to register what she had just said...but the only thing that traveled through his mind was what he said.

"Nothing ever happened between us...Nothing ever happened between us...Nothing ever happened between us..." Monk said shaking his head, it was what they had agreed to. It was what he desperately had to hold onto to keep himself from thinking about it.

He didn't see her tears travel down her face as he said them. He didn't know how much it hurt to hear the words - because she had **known** that's what he would say.

Wiping away her tears with her hand she sucked in a fortifying breath. Waited until she could breathe again, and then said what she knew she had to say. Knew that no matter what had happened - that the truth was the same as it had always been.

Monk couldn't love her...because she wasn't Trudy.

Closing her eyes and sniffling she answered him.

"You're right Mr. Monk..." Turning back she put the car in drive and sniffled, "nothing ever happened..." With that Natalie began to drive again, breathing roughly as she still tried to control her emotions.

Monk stared at her for only a little while before turning to stare at the road ahead of them. Monk didn't know what to feel at the moment, so he just thought about what had just happened. He didn't know why he didn't like John Night...but he didn't!! The second he had seen Natalie lean over and kiss John..._how could she like him_...the way she had seemed to be lost in the kiss had been like a knife twisting in his chest..._but nothings changed! nothings changed!!..._yet as he glanced over at Natalie...he knew that something had.

Looking back at the road thoughts resounded in his mind, even as he lay in bed that night - thinking back to what had happened..._...Why did she go out with him?? Why does she even **like **him??_

But the last thought that traveled through his mind was the one that plagued him. _Why do I care??_

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Author's Note: If I don't get reviews for this chapter...It means I suck as a writer!! REVIEW!! Tell me if you liked it or not!!


	18. A Big Case

Author's Note: Ok people! This chapter actually has some "detective" work...but it connects with the personal story of the characters! Tell me if it sounds interesting or not!!

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The next day all Monk could think about was the way Natalie had kissed Night. The way she had seemed lost in the kiss, as if she had waited for him to kiss her in such a way.

To say the least – he was a bit grumpy!

The captain hadn't said a thing at how Monk and Natalie had been acting towards each other, but from the rumors floating around the precinct, he knew that it was because Natalie had gone out with one of his new officers.

Of course he said nothing. Stottlemeyer just glanced every now and then at either of them, seeing if there was any real danger brewing. Thankfully he realized that Natalie was trying hard to keep her – what was it that he saw in her demeanor? Anger?!

Which was normal really……but she had this look in her eyes.

Stottlemeyer stared at her as she looked over the photos on his desk with Monk sitting down beside her as she stood and leaned over the desk.

Her eyes……her eyes showed such sadness. Pain even.

He had never really seen her eyes like that.

Stottlemeyer looked over and Monk and stared into his eyes as well.

Monk had never been the type of man to be……well…..happy. At least not since Trudy died……but……Monk almost had the same look in his eyes as Natalie did.

He could tell that Monk was confused……and he could see the anger and pain in him too.

Sucking in a deep breath he let out a huge sigh as he looked back at the pictures on his desk.

A murder had occurred downtown with no evidence except one man's dead body. By the time he had gotten there the coroner had already removed the body before it decomposed any more.

So now he sat in front of two people that had become part of his family, and waited for a clue that would help him solve this case. After all……Monk could find the tiniest details to mean something.

But as Stottlemeyer remembered the way that both Monk and Natalie had arrived- barely speaking to each other – and not a smile from Natalie……which was just odd, he realized the Monk may not be up to a challenge today.

He knew something had happened between them……but he didn't know what. He assumed it was because of Officer Night – but he knew Monk wouldn't give her such a hard time about not being there for him. They had been through that song and dance when Natalie quit to be the Lotto Girl.

He was brought out of his musings by Randy as he walked through the door.

"Captain," Randy said as he walked up to the desk and handed him a file, "We ran the warehouse address through the computer and found it's owned to a corporation out of Europe."

Stottlemeyer looked at the file with the company name and information on it.

"What'd they say about the warehouse being completely empty except for a dead body?" Stottlemeyer asked as he continued to look at the file.

"Said that the warehouse was supposed to be empty," Randy said gesturing with a pen he had in his hand, flipping it he pointed at the captain with it, "and get this…the last person that was there was Nicholas Novikov. Russian sailor that worked for the company for twelve years with out missing a day. Hasn't been heard from in over a week. "

As Randy said Russian sailor, Monk titled his head as he stared at the man's torn shirt and slightly bare torso. The pictures had been taken before the body was moved and showed the position that the body had been found in.

Monk extended his hand and picked up a magnifying glass that had been on the desk. Looking through the magnifying glass he stared at the small exposed area of the man's chest.

It only took him a few seconds to recognize the tattoo on the man's chest.

"Well…" Monk began with a scrunched nose as he continued to stare at the tattoo, "I believe we found Mr. Novikov. There is a tattoo on his chest." Monk said. Straitening up he stared at Stottlemeyer.

"It's a rose."

Stottlemeyer huffed out a breath. Knowing what it meant.

Natalie of course did not and looked up from the photo that Monk had been examining and looked at first Monk and then the captain.

"What does that mean?" Natalie asked, curious at the significant.

Stottlemeyer and Monk had not turned their stares away from each other – until then. Stottlemeyer looked up and over at Natalie before answering.

"It means that are victim was either a Russian gang member……or a Russian Mobster….." Stottlemeyer said, letting Natalie soak in the information.

Monk continued, wanting to explain the significance of the tattoo.

"The rose is the tattoo that's given to initiate a gang member." Placing the magnifier in his hand he placed it over the photo and pointed to the tattoo.

Natalie looked through the magnifier.

"See how the tattoo has a blue tint to it?" Natalie nodded at the question. "It's common for a Russian prisoner to have a tattoo with a blue tint to it. (getting closer to Natalie's head he again pointed) See how the tattoo is blurred…it's due to the instruments used can't draw fine lines."

Neither of them noticed how close they were to the other as they stared at the photo.

Natalie caught something else. (Pointing at the spot ) " What's that?"

Both leaned in closer to the magnifier and stared at the slightly exposed underarm of the dead man.

"It…..It looks like a club with a diamond ontop." Natalie said.

The information caused Stottlemeyer to lean back and breath out slowly.

Monk slowly pulled back as the information hit him.

It was then that Randy spoke up as he finally made the connection.

"Hey……doesn't the diamond mean that he's an informer?"

Monk nodded his head slightly, swallowing slowly as he stared up at nothing. Natalie turned her head to look at him and was suddenly frightened at how pale he had gotten.

Forgetting her anger, and everything that she had held against him not five minutes ago, she leaned over and quickly felt his forehead.

"Mr. Monk are you ok? God your freezing cold."

Oddly to both Randy and Stottlemeyer, Monk didn't pull back or anything as Natalie kept her hands on his face and forehead. A second later her hands left his skin as she retrieved a wipe and began to clean his face of the cold sweat that had suddenly come over him.

"Monk calm down! He's obviously an informer!!"

Natalie looked over at the captain and then back at Monk as she continued to wipe away the sweat that had formed on his forehead.

"Why is he panicking?!" Natalie asked with a voice as close to yelling as was possible.

Stottlemeyer lifted both arms and dropped them back on his desk, "Because the club means his and ex-warrior – it means the guy was part of the Russian Mob!!" Stottlemeyer explained.

Again Natalie looked between Monk and the captain before speaking.

"That doesn't answer my question!" Natalie exclaimed as she quickly looked back to see Monk finally regaining some color.

"Are you ok?!" She asked in a high worried voice.

Monk couldn't answer so he just nodded his head as he took the wipe from her fingers and wiped his face.

"The Russians are known for their secrecy! Whatever happened in that warehouse is probably going to remain a mystery!" Stottlemeyer tried to explain, before Monk butt in.

"Please don't make me do it! Please don't make me do it……"

"Monk I wouldn't punish prisoners so severely anyway!!" Stottlemeyer said, understanding what Monk had thought. Monk was crazy if he thought that he would actually make him go undercover in a prison.

Again Natlaie looked back to the captain. "What's he talking about?" Natalie asked curiously. Satisfied that Monk was starting to look better.

"If this guy (pointing at the picture) was in the Russian Mafia, then were talking about a whole boat load of trouble." Stottlemeyer began.

Natalie just stood there and listened.

"If it wasn't someone in his own group, then it was either the Italian Mafia or one of the Chinese Triads. (Waving his arm around for emphasis) Your talking about the most dangerous criminals in the world! The only way to get information is to talk to one of the higher ups."

Shrugging her shoulders Natalie questioned "So….what's the problem."

At this all three men chortled. For a second Natalie's anger flared but quickly deflated as Randy continued.

"The higher ups are usually either impossible to meet with………or in prison!" Randy said as he raised his eyebrows for emphasis.

Shaking his head Stottlemeyer continued. "Besides that one of their crime bosses was recently killed. Everyone's scrambling for the powerful positions it opens up."

Before anyone could say anything else………..John Night walked in the room.

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Author's Note: I know I'm evil for stopping there...but it's been a long day and I really wanted to post this chapter up tonight!! Tell me if it was any good!! REVIEW!!


	19. See Me

Author's Note: I'm sorry it took so long for this update! Dealing with Insurance Companies about the recent storm here! Next chapter is going to take long too...but it's going to be a great one!! Enjoy

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Natalie stiffened as John walked into the room. In no way was she prepared to face him yet. More than ever – now- she had painted herself into a corner. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Monk straighten as John entered.

Natalie knew that Monk didn't trust John, and knew that Monk had no real reason to distrust John so strongly.

Pleasantly surprised, Natalie watched John act completely professional as he entered the room to give Leland a file.

"Captain! This' the file you wanted on Millenium Discoveries. Found out that the President of the company is one Misha Maximov. "

With that John's eyes glanced briefly at Natalie and then back at the captain.

"Thanks John." Stottlemeyer said with his deep voice as he leaned over to take the file into his hand.

John again glanced at Natalie with a small smile on his face and then turned and left the office.

Natalie watched him leave. After last night she would have expected him to avoid her like the plague.

_He probably thinks you're psychotic!!_

Monk on the other hand……had watched her the entire time that John was in the room.

Natalie had stared at him the whole time. His insides felt like they were burning as he continued to watch her stare at John.

Of course he said nothing, instead just looked away and down at the photo once more.

Concentrating on the case was what he really needed to do…..but the image of Natalie kissing John seemed to haunt him. Not to mention the way she continued to look at him.

A grimace came on his face.

_What's the matter with me?! Why does the sight of him kissing her bother me so much??_

Monk denied the sudden tiny little voice in his head that told him exactly why it 'bothered' him.

For the rest of the duration that they stayed at the station Monk barely spoke. Natalie had just assumed it was because of last night…but it wasn't.

Adrian Monk's mind was not concentrating on the details of the case. Adrian Monk wasn't even thinking about the case.

All he could think about was the little voice in his head. What it was saying……it was impossible….it couldn't be right!!

* * *

When they finally left the precinct Natalie couldn't help but stare at him. Something was wrong……more than what she had suspected. Monk was not a man that allowed others to discuss a case and not disagree with the theories that were horribly wrong.

During the meeting with Stottlemeyer Monk had said absolutely nothing. Natalie had noticed right away that Monk's mind was not on the case. He seemed……god…he seemed lost.

Instead of trying to talk him out of his stupor……Natalie just drove the car in complete silence. Worry filled her……worry that maybe what she said last night had caused this.

But……he had acted normal until John walked into the room. Suddenly her mind began to click together that something happened when John walked in…something that would cause him…

Natalie suddenly closed her eyes for a brief moment as she figured what she had done. The whole time John had been in the office, Natalie hadn't turned her eyes off of him.

_Crap!!_

Looking over at Monk, she noticed how distant his eyes looked. Almost like he was reliving something. Wondering what he was thinking, she continued to drive them back to his apartment.

Arriving at his apartment Natalie felt like he shouldn't be alone. Even with how uncomfortable she felt after last night, for some reason something was telling her to stay.

As they entered the apartment, Natalie was reminded of what Monk would most likely be thinking about. Trudy's picture was in almost every room, multiple ones even…lining every space where they could go.

Monk entered the living room and quickly sat in his chair as he rubbed his temples with both hands.

Natalie though…she walked into the dining room – staring at a picture of Trudy. Staring at the picture of a woman she didn't know – and felt a deep compassion for. Her eyes stared at Trudy's smile and her eyes…wondering how different she was from herself.

Staring at at the image of the woman she wondered how Trudy had fallen in love with Adrian. Even before Trudy's death Monk had his disability…just not to this degree. But her mind tried to figure out the woman in the photo. Tried to rationalize how a woman as popular and beautiful as Trudy…had ended up marrying a man like Monk.

Not that Adrian Monk wasn't good enough for her…her thoughts were actually quite opposite of this. Natalie wanted to know……..wanted to understand how Trudy had managed to win his heart. How had this woman in the picture won his eternal devotion?

It was odd to her…this feeling of inadequacy she felt when she stared at Trudy's picture. Yet at the same time…she was grateful that Trudy loved Monk. Such a strange controversy…but…with what she felt for Adrian Monk now…really it wasn't that strange.

More than ever…she felt a connection with Trudy…an understanding only they could possibly have had. Both of them were linked now because of it. Both of them suffered the same fate……they both loved him.

Natalie swallowed and slowly let out a huge sigh.

_I wish I could have met you! I wish……I wish he could see me………the way he sees you…_

* * *

Monk was oblivious to anything Natalie was doing or thinking. Occupied by his own thoughts he barely noticed that she had actually stayed.

He didn't know how much time had gone by before he suddenly found Natalie kneeling down and staring into his eyes with such worry.

"Are you _ok_?!"Natalie asked softly, slightly stressing her last word. Monk didn't notice that her hands rested on both of his knees. He nodded his head distractedly as he looked away from Natalie to the very object that had entranced her for the last ten minutes.

Natalie's eyes switched between the two photos on the wall and Adrian's eyes.

Bracing herself for this conversation she began tentatively.

"Mr. Monk……I know Trudy was the love of your life and…." She stopped as she looked towards Trudy's picture, "I understand why."

It was those words that made Monk turn slowly to look at Natalie. He watched her face as she stared at the photo of Trudy.

"Everyone loved her……I've never heard anyone say anything about her that wasn't good."

Natalie continued to stare at the two photos, lost in thoughts of how lucky Trudy had been.

Monk's eyes skimmed Natalie's face, noting every curve – every imperfection.

"You remind me of her sometimes…" Monk whispered the words as he continued to stare at Natalie.

Natalie swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. Wondering if he had read her thoughts of just minutes ago, she suddenly realized that she really didn't want him to see Trudy when he looked at her.

"Mr. Monk," pausing for just a second, "I'm nothing like Trudy…" She whispered the words as she feared saying the words louder. Feared what it meant to actually say them out loud.

Monk rubbed his hands together and his face showed such sadness. The last time she had seen him look like this was when he thought he had seen Trudy alive, only to find out it was an imposter.

"I know that…" Monk mumbled out as he looked down at his hands, almost like he was inspecting them for something.

Natalie felt tears clogging her throat, and knew in that second that he was suffering because of her. Natalie had caused this, and for the first time…she understood what it meant to truly be heartbroken now…as his next words came down like a deadly blow.

"You could never be like Trudy."

With the words Natalie closed her eyes and let the tears travel down her face.

Monk fiddled even more with his hands as the next words felt like a betrayal to the woman he had loved so long.

"And Trudy could never be like you…" The words had been said quietly, not much above a whisper…but the impact it had on Natalie was like an explosion.

Her eyes had snapped open to find him glancing up at her with lost eyes. Immediately……she understood what he was trying to say……and nothing had ever been so bitterly sweet in her life.

The moment lasted between them but for a few seconds. Natalie's cell phone jarring them both back to the outside world……a world that had taken soo much from both of them. One that brought the object of Monk's despair back between them.

"John! Hey! How ah……how'd you get this number?!" Natalie asked as she held the phone up to her ear keeping the other on Monk's knee while she stared with saddened eyes at the now angry eyes of Monk.

"Oh…I don't know if I can I ………you're……you're right (Natalie looked defeated suddenly)" Looking away from Mr. Monk she let out a breath and said 'ok' to John on the phone.

Monk knew what it meant…and immediately felt the anger inside him once more.

Natalie hung up the phone but couldn't look back at Monk's eyes. She knew what she'd find if she looked at him in that moment.

Silence rained for a few moments before Natalie finally found the courage to speak.

"John…he asked me to dinner tonight……" Natalie said as she avoided Monk's gaze.

Monk really tried to control his temper……he really did……but the idea of her going out with him again was just too much.

"You didn't even want to go out with him the first time…" He said calmly, trying to hold himself back.

"I kind of………I owe him an explanation about last night Mr. Monk." This time she did look up into his eyes. "I need to explain to him about some things that happened last night."

Monk felt a tightening in his stomach at the words……wondering what exactly had happened after he and Julie left. Now he wanted to kick himself for forcing Julie to leave.

Monk said nothing……so Natalie finally straightened up and removed her hand from his knee.

* * *

The second the pressure of her hand left his leg he felt odd………odd that he hadn't even realized that she had been touching him, and odd……because he felt naked without the pressure there.

More than ever before………Monk felt confused.

Natalie made her way home, thinking about the man that she had just left behind. It seemed that she worried about him more now than before……before everything changed.

Arriving at the house she quickly got ready for that night. Julie of course had given her a lot of lip on going out with the guy again. Natalie of course had explained that it wasn't a date….it was just dinner to discuss the previous night.

That of course left Julie curious an anxious to know what exactly had happened the previous night that her mother actually agreed to the dinner of tonight.

At precisely seven o'clock John arrived on her front door step. What shocked both Julie and Natalie…was that he had brought 'dinner'….there.

* * *

Author's Note: Next chapter is going to be very interesting!! Tell me what you thought people!!


	20. Relationships

Author's Note: Sorry it took me soo long to update! My A.C. went out and believe me...it was impossible to do anything!! Let alone type on a scorching hot laptop!! Hopefully you all like the end of the chapter!! You might want to kill me for the middle of it...but I promise! Everything will work out!!

* * *

He stares at the desk in front of him with his hands clasping each other - flexing them against the other every now and then.

On the desk in front of him was a binder……one that held the horrid tale of what happened to her.

Over the years he had opened the binder over a million times. Every moment not spent working on a current case…he sat in the chair next to the desk, and looked at pictures that haunted him when no one was around. Like this very moment.

Slowly he makes his way over to the desk, but does not sit down. His hand comes up and touches the binder. He doesn't want to look at the photos. He doesn't want to remember why he feels dead inside.

Monk doesn't know why the image of Natalie's face flashes through his mind now. Doesn't know why for the first time in so long……he feels like he's living again.

As he stares at the binder he knows that no matter how long it takes him he will find the man that ordered the death of his wife. He knows that nothing could ever stop him from finding out why…and who.

Lifting his hand up, he turns and stares at the sofa. He remembers the way he would lie down with his head in Trudy's lap, remembers her beautiful face as she stroked his.

Suddenly he wasn't seeing Trudy and himself…but…but…

He had pushed the images out of his mind. He had tried to forget everything about that night. But unbiddenly the memory played before his very eyes.

He watched as his hands caressed the planes of her body, watched the way her hands had guided his, watched as he had lost himself with her.

He remembered thinking how beautiful she was, how no matter how long he had tried to deny himself that she was a woman……that night she had forever stamped the connection into his mind.

He looked away. Ashamed of himself for not stopping her……because he had not wanted to stop.

Rubbing his temple with one hand he realized he shouldn't be thinking about it. It never happened after all. Yet he remembered every single detail about it. Remembered how he had been terrified of the kiss, remembered how she had almost forced her tongue into his mouth, remembered how…

He had to stop. It was wrong to think of her like that. Wrong to love his wife and …and what?

He couldn't complete his thought. Acknowledging his feelings was not something he did easily. But the fact that he wasn't acknowledging them……made it obvious that indeed…there were feelings.

Walking out of the room and down the hall to his bedroom, he then starred into the room without going in. For a moment…just a moment he saw her lying in bed. Trudy's eyes staring at him with such love…

The phone ringing out in the silence of the apartment startled him out of his memory. Jerking himself into motion he made his way to the phone.

* * *

Natalie was a little confused at the moment. Never would she have imagined any man coming to her door for a date……and bringing the date to her…literally.

John had brought over some Spanish cuisine in pans and skillets. Natalie found herself tense at the mess that John was quickly making of her kitchen.

Monk was usually cleaning her kitchen constantly. Putting groceries in their 'proper' place. Everything was placed in plastic containers, organized in a way that only Monk himself could. At the moment John had several containers open on the counter, and dishes and utensils filled the sink. Natalie leaned against the doorway from the dining room to the kitchen watching from a distance as John cooked.

Natalie shook her head. _God!! He's rubbing off on me!!_ The urge to clean strong.

Julie had been a little shocked but was quickly brought out of it by her mother instructing her to set up the dining room table.

Julie watched as John began cooking in the kitchen as her mother talked with him. Her cell phone vibrating in her pocket made her jump, then quickly she pulled it out.

Looking at the caller I.D. her face showed confusion. Flipping open the phone she answered.

"Hello."

Monk held his phone away from his face with a wipe as he listened on the line. Upon hearing Julie's voice he spoke.

"Julie! This is Adrian…Adrian Monk…"

Julie couldn't keep the smile from her face as he said this. "Yeah Mr. Monk…I know who this is. Caller I.D."

Natalie's head swiveled from John to Julie as she heard Adrian's name. John continued to talk to her while cooking – oblivious that Natalie was no longer listening to him.

Not that they had been discussing anything that was truly notable, but since Julie was there both had refrained from speaking of the events of the previous night.

Natalie was a bit shocked that Monk was calling Julie. It wasn't like him to call Julie at all. Monk usually just called her on her cell phone.

Adrian made a 'oh' noise and continued talking.

"Ahh….listen. The captain just called me and asked if I could come down to the station. They found some new evidence and thought that I should take a look at it."

Julie's face contorted into vast confusion.

"So…why are you calling me Mr. Monk?! Shouldn't you have called Mom?!" Julie asked.

Monk hesitated, his mouth opening but nothing coming out, finally he got the words out.

"I…I know your mother……is out on a date with John and……(again his mouth opening with nothing coming out)…and I called her, but she didn't pick up her cell phone."

Julie's eyes found her mother's. Her mother's eyes questioned her, but Julie knew that lying about where her mother was would only result in punishment from her mother. On the other hand though……Mr. Monk sounded sad…almost like he thought her mother didn't want him to call her.

"Ah…sure Mr. Monk! But…Mom's still here! Mr. Night brought dinner over…" Julie explained as she walked away from her mother, whose eyes had opened wide at what Julie was telling Monk.

Monk paused at the information.

That's why she didn't pick up the phone! Wait! She actually let him in the house?? Is she insane?!

"Is everything ok?!" Monk asked, truly concerned.

Julie was currently trying to keep her mother away from the phone, as she appeared to freak out at the idea that she was talking to Mr. Monk.

"Yeah." Julie said as she continued to evade her mother's hands, as Natalie tried to reach for the phone. It confused Julie. But she realized that Mr. Monk had called her for a reason.

"So there still on a date…" Monk continued, not really asking the question but testing the words out loud. He realized he really didn't like the sound of the words. Especially when referring to Natalie.

"Yeah, at least if mom would stop trying to pry the phone from my hands!! MOM! It's MY cellPHONE!!" Julie exclaimed. Monk could hear the struggle for the acquisition of the phone, but briefly wondered why Natalie was trying to get to the phone.

"Mr. Monk!!" Natalie exclaimed as she finally managed to get Julie's cell phone out of Julie's possession. "Is everything ok?? Did something happen??" Natalie asked with a large amount of concern in her voice that all around her could hear.

"I'm...I'm fine Natalie! I just..."

Suddenly Monk heard a struggle.

"Mr. Monk! I can drive you to the police station!!" Julie said with erratic breathing.

Natalie stared at her daughter with a stern look, but Julie just gave her a radiant smile and stepped away from her mother going upstairs to grab her keys. In reality she knew that she couldn't just leave John cooking while she went down to the station with Monk. Whether she wanted to or not...she needed to talk to John about what happened last night.

Suddenly she realized that John was staring at her from the kitchen at her with a towel on his shoulder. He was looking at her with this odd smirk on his face.

Natalie had the good graces of looking embarrassed. The opposite was true. At the moment she wanted to escape this very awkward place that she had somehow gotten herself into.

"It's good to know that you actually care about him. I guess because your a mother it comes out naturally." John said.

Natalie didn't know how to take the statement. Was it supposed to be a compliment or an insult on Monk's behalf? Either way there was no real response that she could give, so she just gave him a smirk of her own.

John's smirk grew into a smile. "I'm sorry if I freaked you out by bringing dinner to you...it's just...the last time you ran away...and I figured that if you were already home you could just kick me out if you don't want me around."

Natalie blushed at the words yet felt an endearment towards John for saying them. This man was truly an anomaly.

"John…" Natalie let out a sigh after she said his name. But John didn't let her get another word out.

"Listen Natalie…" He said as he walked up to her and held her chin with two fingers as he locked his eyes with hers, "I know that what happened last night was (smirking)…well I know it wasn't really meant for me…but (smirk becoming a straight line) but I would like nothing more for it to be for me."

Natalie couldn't look away from his eyes. They reminded her so much of…

"I know that your just with Monk comes before everything right now…but…but I really do want to get to know you better. We can start off really slow, I'll give you whatever space you need and…(smirking again) I can be here for you whenever you need me."

Natalie felt warmth as the words processed through her mind.

"I know right now you're really stressed out with Monk, but I could be a stress reliever. (smiling) In any way you want!" John joked.

Natalie laughed despite herself and slapped John's chest, but John caught it and pulled her into the kitchen once more. Holding it he looked into her eyes. Seriousness in his face spread suddenly.

"Whad'ya say Natalie? Will you give this a shot?"

Natalie stared at the man before her for a long time, trying to rationalize why dating him was a very bad idea. Thinking about Monk…about where he was in his life, about if he could ever really see her as just Natalie and not someone that looked like his wife, or someone that was his worker……Monk just wasn't capable of loving her right now.

_Maybe not ever! _ The thought came upon her sadly.

Staring into John's eyes as he waited for a reply, Natalie realized that John may not be the man that she was in love with……but he might be the man that _would be_ in love with _her_.

Being alone was hard. Feeling like the life you led was slipping through your fingers without really living was terrorizing. Making her decision, she nodded her head; her heart feeling like it was being divided in two.

Adrian Monk was the man she was in love with, but John Night was the man kissing her. Kissing John the way……she would have kissed Adrian Monk.

* * *

Julie had grabbed her keys and was making her way down stairs when she heard John talking to her mother. Quietly she stopped and stayed out of sight, but peered down so she could watch them.

When John had pulled her into the kitchen, Julie snuck her way down and peered around the corner. Julie stared as her mother kissed John with …with…she stopped her own thought. Suddenly Julie felt betrayed. Feeling as though her mother had betrayed her and…

Julie quietly left the house, but the image of her mother kissing John…they way she had used to kiss Julie's father…made her feel pain…like she never thought she could.

Monk had been waiting outside for her, and when she pulled up, knew automatically that Julie was upset. Julie got wrinkles in her eyes when she was thinking about upsetting things – Just like her mother.

Monk said nothing as he quickly entered Julie's older car. The car was much cleaner from the last time he was in it. His eyes drifted over to Julie as she continued to stare ahead, not even acknowledging that he was even in the car.

Monk said nothing as he placed his seat belt on, making sure that the belt was on correctly, tight but not soo tight. Adjusting the shoulder strap just so it lay exactly forty five degrees across his chest.

It was while he was doing this that Julie finally spoke.

"She was kissing him."

The words were enough to make Monk let go of the belt and stare at Julie as she stared back at him with hurt eyes.

Monk's jealousy jumped up severely at the words. Anger slowly seeping it's way back into his body. Betrayal and anger mixed together, leaving him it a stupor.

Monk turned and looked out his window. Julie continued.

"She was kissing him the way……the way she would kiss dad!!" Julie said as she tried to control her emotions. But the hurt she felt was more than she could bare at the moment. Julie had loved her father, missed him everyday. The idea of her mother kissing John like that……a man that she had been on one date on……it extremely upset her.

"Maybe….maybe she's just lonely." Monk said as he looked out the window. At the moment he couldn't look into Julie's eyes. They reminded him too much of Natalie's.

Julie suddenly exploded.

"Why would she be lonely!! She has me and you!!"

Monk did turn to look at Julie as her words hit something close to his feelings.

But Monk knew the real reason why……and in all honesty…he didn't blame her.

"Maybe……maybe you _and _John can make her feel like she's not alone."

It was no admittance to anything. In no way were the words suppose to give Julie any indication into what he truly felt……but it did.

Julie stared into Monk's eyes for what seemed like a few minutes, when it was a few seconds

In that moment….she realized that Mr. Monk didn't feel like he belonged with them…that he didn't make her mother feel happy. But it wasn't true. Adrian Monk had become more than just a friend. Especially to her.

Julie swallowed the lump in her throat…as she realized how she looked at the man before her. Somewhere along the way…from childhood to now……he had become the man she had wanted to call dad.

How could she say that?! How could she feel that way about Monk when the thought of John kissing her mother in the way her real father had kissed her mother……the thought had made her want to scream. But Monk, Mr. Monk……the idea of him kissing her mother…the idea that he might want to be her father……it made her feel…

Monk finally looked away from Julie and again turned to look out the window.

What was she suppose to say now?! What could she do?

Julie sat there with one question in her mind.

_How do you tell a friend - Mr. Monk of all people - that he's the only father…that you could ever want?_

* * *

Author's Note: If this wasn't a good chapter...blame it on the heat in Florida. 96 degrees! God help me! REVIEW!! Tell me if it sucked!


	21. Things That Happen On Natalie's Couch

Author's Note: Ok...I've been extremely sick guys! So that's why I haven't updated. Not like...a flu or something like that ooohhh no! That would be a blessing right now. I have a hietal hernia! Which means I suffer chests pains like I'm going to have a heart attack, back pains that make me want to curl up and cry- but can't cause it's too painful...I can't eat...I can't sleep...I'm constantly in the bathroom praying that god take me now lord...please god right now!! This is the first night I've actually felt better enough to actually write. I hope you all enjoy! It think it's quite good...considering that I'm highly medicated at the moment! Enjoy!

* * *

A week had passed since that day. A week that Monk had sworn he had been in hell. Besides the fact that the evidence that they had found was little to nothing, Monk had found himself on edge.

Upon Julie bringing him back home he had found himself oddly wanting Julie to stay with him. It was an odd feeling. Normally and under usual circumstances, he felt crowded and uncomfortable around others. Yet when Julie was around now……he felt like something was right.

Monk had only felt this way about one other child. Benji.

It was odd to think that he had not seen Benji in years now. Sadness always enveloped him as he thought about him. But Julie……Julie had filled that void in him that had appeared - as Benji no longer was a constant in his life.

Julie had grown up before his eyes. Monk had watched as Julie grew into the beautiful woman she now was.

Pride filled him when she accomplished something, or when others would compliment her. He never showed it, or even said anything to her about it. Always feeling that it wasn't his place to say such things, he never said a word.

That night Julie had talked about how she missed her father but that John was not the man she wanted her mother to marry. Insisting that John was not the one she _should_ be with.

Julie had stared at him for the longest time after her 'tirade'. In all honesty he had agreed with every word she had said.

The only problem was that he didn't know what to do. Constantly telling Natalie that he didn't trust Night had done absolutely nothing from dissuading her from continuing a relationship with John. In fact…Natalie had been out with John three times in one week.

Monk had had to endure the sight of John picking her up for dates, and the quick kisses John took even though Natalie tried to pull away as Monk was within sight. He stayed with Julie when Natalie went out.

Julie would get annoyed at him for his many phobic habits, but nonetheless would assist him in whatever he wanted to do.

Weeks passed as Natalie continued to see John, and neither she nor Monk talked about it during the day or in front of the captain. Neither of them willing to bring up a discussion of whys and what ifs.

Monk had been babysitting Julie for almost a month when something odd occurred.

Julie had insisted that they watch a movie, a horror movie. It had been a while since he had actually watched any sort of movie…and he commented on all the mistakes that they had made in the film. Julie didn't get angry - if anything she would rewind the tape and look at the part of the film again. Of course this annoyed Monk, but he tried to say nothing…tried being as he let a few words slip out.

It had become very late, and Julie had slowly shifted around on the couch, closer to him. Monk tried not to fidget with the proximity of her but when she rolled her body from one side of the back of the couch, to have her face pressed against his shoulder, Monk became extremely uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable wasn't even the word for what he felt. Scared, petrified, astounded, and confused were better but not nearly all of the emotions that made him stiffen and want to move away.

He tried not to move, tried to remain calm….but that just wasn't him. Squirming a little he almost managed to get her head to move off him when she mumbled one word that made him stop dead in his tracks.

"Daddy…" Julie mumbled out it her sleeping state.

Monk stopped and looked at Julie's face. For an instant Julie reminded him of Trudy. Julie looked like an angel sleeping.

Julie cuddled closer, wrapping her arm around the figure beside her. Her head snuggled down to a position between his chest and shoulder.

Monk felt something inside him in that moment that he had never really felt for Julie - kinship.

Both of them had lost their fathers, both of them had had to live without one. He knew more than anyone…it hurts more as time goes on. You never get over it. It always stays with you.

Maybe that's why his fear subsided for a few seconds, maybe that's why he suddenly felt very protective of her, or maybe it was the fact that for the first time in his life – he wanted nothing more to be called that word…by this girl.

He was sweating from the proximity, but he mustered the courage to stay put. Disturbing her might result in a very awkward discussion.

Julie was obviously dreaming about her father, and Monk would much rather suffer then to take that away from her.

Tolerance for these situations for him was very low, but he pushed himself to stay put longer.

All of it changed as Julie's next mumbled words made Monk's heart open for her.

"I'm sorry I love Mr. Monk like you."

Brown eyes stared down at blonde hair attached to an angelic face. Trying to swallow the swell of emotion that entered his being was no use.

A tear fell into her blonde hair, making him realize he was crying.

Phobic and fearful, Monk forgot himself in those few minutes. Slowly his hand came around her back and held her to him. Allowing himself this one moment, this one little moment in his life – that made him realize that Julie was the closest thing to a daughter…that he would ever have.

Time passed till Monk knew he couldn't stand to be close to her anymore. His phobias were too strong to allow him to hold her for as long as he had.

Not wanting to leave her on the couch, Monk slowly held her closer. Julie snuggled closer, allowing Monk to uncurl her legs and slowly with all the strength and agility he could muster, to lift them both off the couch.

As he stood he had to stay still as the fear of falling over with Julie in his hold became a close possibility as his muscles protested the action.

It took a few seconds for him to begin to move Julie up the stairs and to her own room.

He thanked God as he laid her carefully down in her bed. He was sweating and was extremely tired, and it was way passed the time that he normally was in bed.

But he didn't want to leave her. Natalie was still not home and the idea of going down stairs and waiting on the couch for John to bring Natalie home was not a pleasant thought.

Turning around he took the chair that Julie had and brought it close to the bed. Sitting down he stared at Julie as she slept, remembering the first time he met her and Natalie. The idea of never having met them truly terrifying him.

Where would he be today if he had never met Natalie or Julie?

Monk really didn't want to know.

Feeling the burning in his eyes he glanced down to his watch. Even though the bedroom was dark, the moonlight from outside provided enough light to read the watch.

Realizing just how late it was he began to really worry about Natalie. She was never out this late. Especially when she knew how horrible a night person _he _was.

The sound of a door opening from down stairs making him sigh in relief……until he walked down stairs.

* * *

Natalie opened the door as quietly as she could. Exhausted from the day she had had her movements were sluggish. Trying to keep her eyes open, she was basically sleep walking.

Removing the light jacket from her torso a pain shot up her back. Making her way over to the couch she promptly collapsed onto it. A grimace formed as a pain radiated from between her shoulder blades and up her neck.

Teetering on the line between sleep and the waking, her eyes flew wide open as she heard the sound of someone coming down the stairs. Trying to push herself up from the sofa proved to be difficult, the pain in her shoulders almost making it impossible to move.

It took longer than she cared to admit, but she sat up – only to find one Adrian Monk staring back at her.

"You're home late…" He stated. No accusation in his voice at all.

Natalie was thankful for small miracles.

"Yeah……John took me to see an opera." Grimacing she said this as she tried to reach behind her head to massage her neck, but the sharp pain made her stop and drop her arms. Even this resulted in pain.

"Are you ok?" Monk asked. His voice and face full of concern. If John had done something to her he would never forgive himself.

Natalie didn't want to say anything, knowing how Monk tended to downplay her ailments – it actually saddened her how little he thought of her needs. But shockingly she found his eyes to show extreme concern.

"Those chairs are extremely uncomfortable…I think I have a pinched nerve." Natalie mumbled as pain once more radiated up her back.

Monk was not one that handled pain – in _any_ way- well. As a matter of fact, Monk handled pain horribly. It was also very hard for him to sympathize with people. At the moment he remembered how he had told Sharona to 'suck it up' with her fear of elephants, and how she had repaid him by making his life a nightmare afterward. No wipes, just those three words that he had stupidly said to her.

Still, Monk was Monk. He didn't…touch…people.

But the pain etched in Natalie's face made him do something he never did…she slowly moved and sat down beside her. Perched so close to the edge of the couch, Natalie had no clue that he had moved – until the firm push of his fingers needing through her shirt into her back muscles made her almost jump. The pain though prevented her from doing so.

Instead tears leaked out of her eyes as the pain radiated up her neck and down. The pain so intense that the absurdity of Adrian Monk giving her a massage was even thought. Monk's face was comical in nature as he tried to 'massage' Natalie's back. Looking as though the task was distasteful - yet unsure if he was supposed to be massaging her in such a way.

It wasn't long until Monk found the area that sent scorching pain through Natalie, Natalie jerked and spun, trying to get away from his hands. Monk though, having discovered it was determined to ease the pain and reached around her and massaged the spot as Natalie's arms were now confined between their chests as Monk's fingers kneaded the spot with such concentration he didn't realize that Natalie was crying against his neck as he finally pushed in just the right way that Natalie actually relaxed against him.

Monk didn't move as he realized the very intimate position that they were now in, but as Natalie let out another big sigh against him he knew that she was falling asleep against him.

Panic soon took him as he realized he was stuck between the couch and Natalie's body. Natalie's body……Natalie's very feminine body….nononoNO!

Phobias and fear suddenly engulfed Monk. Her breath and mouth were right next to his neck. Germs and saliva….oh god NO! He began to sweat as his claustrophobia took him over. He tried to calm himself but couldn't help but squirm against her.

It was her hiss of pain and jerking away from him that made him stop and look at her. Her eyes didn't open, they just remained closed, but the pain etched into her face stayed intact.

Monk mentally berated himself at hurting her, yet the selfish part of himself told him he had every right to feel uncomfortable. Natalie was very much in his personal space.

And it happened again, the memories of that night played like a film reel in his mind, and he remembered how Natalie had forever crossed his personal space. At the moment, he realized that in fact Natalie had even claimed his personal space as her own.

It was no use, Natalie didn't wake up and Monk was not going to cause her more pain by moving her. It was fruitless to even consider removing her, since the late hour claimed him as its victim. Within minutes, Monk…was asleep.

* * *

It was around four in the morning when Julie awoke with an extremely dry mouth, the popcorn she had eaten during the movie a few hours earlier leaving her incredibly thirsty.

Sleepily she began her tread to the kitchen, concentrating on not tripping down the stairs and killing herself. Finally making it down, she searched the cupboards for a glass as she tried to rub some of the sleep out from her eyes. Reaching for the fridge, the light spilling out from the door illuminating the figures that lay on the sofa, but she didn't notice them. The first thing she did was take out the gallon of water and promptly filled her glass. Drinking a generous sum she then refilled her glass. As she turned from the counter back to the fridge, she noticed something in the living room.

Slowly and carefully, leaving the refrigerator open for the light it provided, she walked slowly towards the couch.

Now even though she was close to being a legal adult, and even though she was no longer a little girl imagining a fairy tale ending……nothing could have prepared her for the sight that literally _lay_ before her.

Adrian Monk was lying down with his arms wrapped around Julie's mother. And Natalie's arms……were wrapped around Monk's middle as her head lay on his upper chest.

Julie stood there - trying to take in the scene – the sleepiness from seconds ago vanishing as her mind finally processed the sight.

Julie was confused. It showed on her face…then slowly her wrinkled brow fell.

Julie's eyes traveled down the two forms that held each other intimately close. Noting the peaceful faces of both as they blissfully slept entangled within the others hold.

Slowly…very slowly Julie understood what the scene before her really meant, what years of being together day in and day out had led to.

Pink lips slowly formed a smirk as the sight before the owner's eyes felt that the scene was right. It was what it was suppose to be.

Julie stayed there staring at the two for a long time, before finally giving into the tug on her mind to go back to bed. Walking back to the fridge she closed the door, encompassing the room in darkness once more, then with a smile on her lips…went back to bed.

* * *

Author's Note: I hope you guys can forgive the late post but truly forget it's late due to the fact that I think this chapter rocked!! Reviews people! I live for them!


	22. Realizing Things Change

Author's Note: I'm sorry it took so long to update but I really have been quite sick lately. It's almost two a.m. at the moment and could not sleep...so I started to write and finally was able to get this chapter jotted down. Hope you all enjoy.

In the hazy seconds between the moment one wakes and the last bit of nighttime dreams slips from the mind, Natalie felt completely safe and warm. Cuddling down into the warmth that was beneath her Natalie squirmed slightly, not ready or willing to wake up. Content in the haziness that encompassed her.

It was this motion that caused one peacefully sleeping detective to slowly open his eyes at the unexpected movement.

Adrian Monk found himself in familiar surroundings…the only thing was……he wasn't use to seeing it this early in the morning……from this vantage point.

Slowly as his groggy eyes tried to open fully, he realized there was a warm weight on his chest…not necessarily unpleasant but…

Monk's eyes shot open as he recognized the face of one Natalie Teeger with her cheek resting against the left side of his chest. White skin aglow with the early morning light making her seem more of a heavenly being than that of a person.

_Beautiful..._

He hadn't meant to think the word...it just popped in there.

Natalie squirmed once more, about to wake up.

As she moved Monk panicked. Because as Natalie moved...he realized that he had...reacted to the movement.

Shame, embarrassment, fear, and panic mingled into one emotion for him as he realized that he had to move out from under Natalie and fast.

Natalie sucked in a breath and began to stretch as she began to wake...and quickly stopped as she felt evidence that she was laying on top of someone...a very male someone.

Slowly Natalie turned her head to stare up into the eyes of one Adrian Monk.

Both of them just stared into the others eyes, afraid to do anything that would cause the other to react.

Neither of them noticed how close there faces were, but both were keenly aware when both of their eyes dropped to stare at the others lips.

Natalie wanted to kiss him. More than anything she wanted _him_ to kiss _her._

But when she looked up into his eyes she saw…fear. That's what she made him feel...fear.

Slowly she pulled away from his face and quickly lifted herself off of his body.

Monk lay there feeling...disappointed? His emotions were so oddly controversial he felt ashamed of himself. But he didn't have long to contemplate them, for both he and Natalie heard an alarm clock going off…and soon heard the sound of Julie walking upstairs.

Neither of them had said a word to each other, but both quickly began to run around and gather everything indicating that he had spent the night there. Natalie quickly grabbed his jacket and ran toward him as he shifted away from her.

Monk tried to get his body under control as he tried to straighten out his clothes. Natalie noticed why he turned away and just draped his jacket over his back and than ran for her bedroom.

Quickly she threw off her dress and began to yank on her usual big t-shirt and baggy sweat pants. Scrubbing off her makeup with a wipe she grabbed from her dresser she ran back to where Monk now stood wearing his jacket and looked semi-descent. Throwing the wipe away she ran towards Monk as she heard Julie's footsteps get more distinct. Quickly, and even surprising Monk she pushed him out the door and closed it in his face.

Monk stood on the step in front of the door wondering what had just happened? What was he supposed to do? So…he just stood there…waiting. Looking totally confused in a way that only Monk could.

Natalie ran into the kitchen, starting the coffee pot and rushing to seem as though she was cooking breakfast…which was strange to begin with. She never cooked breakfast in the morning. Julie and her would just usually eat cereal or a piece of toast with butter and jam. But she needed to seem like there was a reason she was up so early.

Julie came down stairs, face solemn as drowsiness continued to consume her. As she reached the bottom of the stairs she looked at the couch to find it empty.

It was odd not to find both her mother and Mr. Monk still sleeping on the couch, but when she turned and found her mother cooking breakfast, she knew something was up.

Julie walked into the kitchen with a suspicious face on, yawning as she made her way to the table and sat down slouching into her seat. Turning her head around she watched her mother cook and noticed immediately that her mother was trying hard not to look over at her.

Julie studied her for a second, her eyes going up and then down her mother's frame. A slow smile came on her face when her eyes made its way to the ground. Julie turned her head away to conceal her smile. Doing so she caught movement at the front door. She didn't move though...not quite sure if she had really seen something...but then she caught a glimpse of who was at the door. Again the smile came back to her face as she sat and watched as her mother began to talk and place a plate and cup of orange juice in front of Julie.

Julie didn't listen though, lifting her cup of orange juice to her mouth she took a health gulp and then placed the orange juice back down. Natalie continued to talk and jabber on as Julie stood and walked over to the front door without a word and opened it.

There stood Monk. Looking uncomfortable, flustered, and even that little glint of fear in his eyes that he always seemed to have. Julie's eyebrows were furrowed in fake confusion, fully knowing why Monk was outside standing in front of their front door - but she was not going to let either he or her mother know that she knew the truth.

"Mr. Monk? What are you doing here so early?" It was hard for Julie not to show her little smile that meant she knew something, but...in this particular case...involving her mother and the man that she loved like a father...she knew it would be the wrong move.

Adrian felt completely lost, glancing from Julie who seemed to have a glint in her eye to Natalie - who happened to have a panicked face - left him feeling as though no matter what he did...it was going to be the wrong thing.

But _unfortunately _the words leaving his mouth would be lost to all, as a car parking behind him made all turn to look who it was.

"I was in the neighborhood."

Pulling up into Natalie's drive way was none other than John Night. Exiting his car with a huge smile on his face that seemed to glow from happiness. Jogging up to the house, Julie pulled Monk into the house with the tips of her fingers as Natalie moved into the doorway to see if it was really John.

As John approached he saw how all three crowded the door way. Anyone else would have noticed immediately how they seemed to form a tight family unit...but if John saw it he didn't let the thought alter any of his momentum of reaching Natalie.

Just before reaching her, Natalie snuck a look at Adrian, and found that his eyes were already on her. It didn't shock her like it would have a few short months ago...now...now it almost felt as if she lived for these moments. But when John finally reached them her eyes disconnected from Monk's and found her eyes opening wide as John leaned up a kissed her.

Leaning back John smiled up at her as if he had done so a thousand times.

Monk had to keep himself in check as John looked up at Natalie like that. Everytime he saw the man, he felt more contempt for John each time. Natalie glanced over at Monk and immediately saw the very tense set of his jaw. Glancing back to John she immediately began talking. The faster she talked, the less John was there and that meant no confrontation between him and Adrian.

"John!! What are you doing here?!" She asked.

"I just wanted to see if you were ok. Last night you looked destroyed when I dropped you off."

"Oh ah...yeah...I'm fine." Natalie said as she began messing with her hair, trying to comb it down slightly. Knowing that it must look like a mess.

John suddenly sniffed the air, as if he caught a scent of something. "Is something burning?"

It only took a second for Natalie to realize that she had left things on the stove. Whirling around she made a mad dash for the stove where her eggs were no black and adhered to the frying pan. John had entered the home and followed Natalie as Julie and Monk stood back and watched the interaction between the two.

John leaned across the sink and opened the window to let the smoke that had formed out of the house. Natalie took the pan to the sink, nudging John out of the way.

"Hey! Are you ok? Did you burn yourself?!" John asked in concern.

It made Monk roll his eyes. The sound of his voice annoyed him beyond Harold Krenshaw's. If it wasn't for the fact that Natalie swore up and down that he wasn't as bad as what he thought of John...he wouldn't even have let him in. In all truth...Monk would have closed the door in his face.

It was funny that as Monk rolled his eyes, so did Julie.

John seemed like a nice guy, in fact Julie had never seen him do anything or say anything that would make her believe he wasn't a good person...but she had this feeling that he wasn't at all what he appeared to be.

Julie had even considered the idea that it was jealousy that was making her feel like John was evil - with her mother going out all the time now... she really hadn't seen much of her mother. Not that they didn't hang out at all but...but it wasn't like it use to be. Julie remembered how it was a few months ago. They would go shopping together, discuss things - stupid things really - but those conversations were but a memory to her now.

Julie knew that she was not a little girl anymore...but...but her mother had been all that she had had for so long that...she almost felt pushed aside now.

Stealing a glance at Mr. Monk she realized that she wasn't the only one feeling anamosity towards John. Smirking she realized that the something that had happened last night was causing a little more anamosity in Mr. Monk's case.

As little time as she had been spending with her mother, Julie had been spending almost all of her time with Mr. Monk. Hanging out with friends less and less and spending more time with him had been extremely weird at first, yet now she was thankful that she was given the chance to get to know the person that was Adrian Monk.

By his expression she could tell that he was angry, and knew that if she didn't do something to distract him he would do something weird and maybe even annoying. So she distracted him by talking to him about the last subject that had been speaking about the night before last. Ignoring what her mother and John were talking about.

"Mr. Monk I forgot to tell you that I found a picture of your old house online!"

Monk was watching as John held Natalie's hand 'inspecting' it as Natalie protested. Thoughts of what happened minutes ago ran through his mind. Images of Natalie's face from moments ago flashed through his mind...but Julie's voice brought him out of his revere.

Shaking his head he looked over at Julie as he heard her say something. "I'm...sorry Julie...you said something?"

Julie just looked over at him with a little smirk. Of course he didn't hear her.

"I said I found a picture of your old house! You know...before Biederbeck bought it!"

Even though John was currently talking to her, Natalie's ear's perked when she heard the name 'Biederbeck'. Head swiveling to the duo, Natalie's mouth opened before she could consult her brain.

"What about Biederbeck?" Natalie asked with curiosity.

Both Julie and Monk turned to stare at Natalie. A twitch made its way through Monk's shoulder as Natalie stared at him, with John still holding the hand he was inspecting.

Monk just stared at Julie in mild shock. "What?" he whispered out.

Julie ran upstairs quickly to grab her laptop. Within a minute she was back with the laptop open and on.

"The previous owners of the house had pictures of the house and put it up online. They tagged it with the address so I'm pretty sure it's the house. It really is a beautiful house." Julie said as she turned her body so that Monk could see the screen.

The second Monk's eyes met the screen it was like he was taken back to all those years ago. Memories...happy ones filtered through his mind. It was the house that he and Trudy bought together.

Natalie saw how Monk's eyes became that dark brown shade that showed he was reliving something. Withdrawing her hand from John - and without sparing him a glance - Natalie approached Monk.

"Are you ok?" Natalie asked in a soft voice as she rubbed his back.

Monk nodded his head distractedly. It was rare that Monk thought back to all those years ago. But in his mind he could still see Trudy's smiling face as he carried her over the threshold. Remembered her radiant smile...and the promise of what the future held for the both of them.

Natalie watched him in concern. Knowing him like she did, she knew that just seeing the house would make him think of Trudy. He stood there just staring at the photo.

"Mr. Monk are you ok? You're really worrying me..." The words left her mouth in a soft scared voice. Her blue eyes trying to find an answer to her question in his. And as Adrian Monk finally turned and looked at her Natalie had to steady herself from the intensity of his gaze. Almost like he wasn't seeing her at all...and almost like he saw al of her at once. As if in that moment he could see behind the act that she had been keeping up for so long now that she herself had almost started to believe her own lie.

John broke the moment but speaking. And of course it annoyed the other three in the room. But of course Natalie couldn't show her annoyance.

"Seeing the house must make you miss Trudy alot. I mean...remembering the house obviously brings up memories of when she was alive."

Three sets of eyes turned and stared in shocked horror as the words filled the room.

Monk was the first to speak. "I think I should be going now."

Julie let him turn half way before immediatly putting down her laptop and offering - "I'll drive you."

Monk didn't protest, only swinging his arm up almost and opening his mouth as if to protest...but one look into Julie's eyes and he knew he was a dead man if he refused. Dropping his arm and the argument he was about to start, he realized that he actually wanted Julie to take him home.

Natalie just followed the two as Julie didn't even bother dressing- still clothed in the clothes from the day before- instead grabbing the keys from her purse near the door and slipping on a pair of slippers near the door. Natalie leaned against the frame of the door and watched Monk head for Julie's car. Resting her head against the frame she watched as Monk walked in the all too familiar sad stride he usually did - but it had never hurt so much to actually watch him than in that moment.

Julie soon was walking past her mother, but was soon stopped by her mother's hand grabbing her and turning her.

"Please be careful. He's been really distracted lately." Natalie said to her daughter as she rubbed Julie's arm up and down.

Julie's eyes traveled from her mother's to John that was still in the kitchen and now trying to clean the pan that had been burning.

"I wonder why..." Julie whispered, more to herself than to her mother.

"What?" Natalie asked not having heard what Julie had said.

Julie's eyes returned to her mother's and quickly said "nothing!".

Natalie smiled at her daughter, and was about to turn and walk back into the house when Julie stopped her.

"Mom!"

Natalie turned with concern written on her face.

"Yeah?"

Julie's soft face soon formed the famous smirk she flashed more than a smile.

"Next time you should remember to take off your shoes before...going to bed."

Natalie's eyes widened just slightly as she realized that Julie knew. Julie's smirk turned into a side smirk as she turned and quickly walked to her car, where Monk already sat...waiting.

Natalie watched them go...wondering why the two most important people in her life were driving away from her...and why a man whom she pretended to be someone else - was waiting in the house behind her _for_ her.

Sighing out she didn't let the tears that had formed in her eyes to fall. Suddenly she felt the same anxiety against change as Adrian did. Because things were changing...and she had never hated change more. Slowly she turned...and closed the door behind her.

Author's Note: So what did you think? Worth the wait? I hope to get the next chapter up soon...hoping I do it during the day...and not in the wee morning hours. REVIEWS I live for them!


	23. A Gift Leads to Something

Author's Note: THIS CHAPTER IS KIND OF GRAPHIC!!! BE ADVISED!!! I know some of you don't like this kind of thing so I'm letting you know now!! But to all of you who have been waiting for something to happen....I think this chapter is the one you've been waiting for with an unexpected turn at the end!! ENJOY!!

Days passed and soon Natalie realized that Adrian and Julie had formed a very close bond. John had been taking her out so often that she was barely spending time with Julie and Adrian together. When she did she felt as though she was being left out. Not on purpose of course, it was just that – that they talked about things that she didn't know anything about. Sadly it was things she should have known by now.

The other night Julie and Adrian had been talking about how very different life would have been if Biederbeck hadn't sued him and Trudy for everything they had. The conversation had shocked her. Listening as Adrian explained to Julie that it was the reason he lived where he did…and why he barely ever had any money.

Natalie listened in awe as Adrian actually talked to Julie. Talked to her about how he didn't use to be as frugal as he was now.

Julie had smiled at him and said in a sincere voice "I don't think you're cheap Mr. Monk."

And then Natalie had turned her head to find an actual smile on his face. Not a forced one or an attempt at a smile…but a real smile. And when she saw it……when she saw it she felt something inside her give, and the want to see that smile all the time overtook her.

Natalie had to walk away from the two, knowing that if she stayed one second longer…she would do something stupid – like kiss him.

The urge to do so had been building and building. Every time they were alone together it felt like electricity charged the room. Worse now was that Monk had been touching her without realizing he was doing so…maybe it was because they had…well…because they had been……intimate. Whatever the reason, Monk had been touching her hands and not using a wipe.

It still didn't mean that he was jumpy around her…or that anything had changed…it was just that…something had changed between them. Even though 'it never happened'……both of them knew that things had changed.

Sometimes she caught him staring at her. When she did she would stare back into his eyes and feel a heat rising from just below her stomach. More times she would blush and turn away or pretend to do something else.

It was a dangerous thing…these feelings that she felt. She never in a million years would have expected to feel like this...about him.

Adrian Monk was a man that had problems beyond those of most. His O.C.D. impaired him drastically...but it was odd to know he was not always like he now was.

As she continued to wash the dishes she turned her head to look at a photo of Trudy. Staring at the photo she realized that Trudy had seen a side of Monk she might never see. Until a few months ago he had just been a......a friend. Now......now she was startled to realized that they had become much more than just friends.

Being in the same room as him was extremely difficult now. The things that would normally annoy her to no end was now something that she willingly accepted as long as she could be close to him. And now when she was close to him it didn't seem that she was close enough.

It was also odd when people talked about him. Before she could just crack a joke about his issues with just about anyone...now though...when she would hear someone say something about him or crack a joke about him......anger would seep through her body. Anger at not just the person saying something - but at herself to.

She herself had said things or made jokes about him. Now as she stood at the sink continuing to wash the dishes in his apartment did she realize that for the first time ever......she had understood what she had been doing. Making fun of him herself!

Why?

Because it was easy. Because Adrian Monk didn't pretend to be someone else like everyone else she knew. Because it made her feel better about herself.

Clanging plates together she felt the anger at herself pour forth once more.

Suddenly she found him in the kitchen with her. Looking over at him she felt the anger drain away instantly. Her face soon formed into a soft smile.

He was sweeping some small specks of dirt on the floor. Concentrating solemly on the dirt he didn't notice her looking at him, instead he continued to sweep. Natalie remembered something then, removing her hands from the water she quickly dried her hands and went out to her car. Within a few minutes she was back, and Monk was still sweeping.

Monk didn't even notice that Natalie had left, looking down at the dirt that he couldn't seem to sweep up. Then another broom came into his line of sight. It swept the dirt that he had in front of his broom - but then he heard a vacuum sound and then the dirt was sucked up by the broom.

Monk looked up in awe at Natalie. Natalie had a huge smile on her face and couldn't contain the giggle as she saw his face. Slowly she handed the broom in her hand to Monk. Monk set his broom aside quickly and took the red broom that Natalie held into his hands as if it was the most incredible thing he had ever seen. Looking at the broom as if were the sword Excalibur itself.

"It's...It's" Monk tried to speak, tried to tell her how incredible it was.

"Julie and I saw it yesterday in the mall, we knew you'd have to have it." Natalie said with the smile still on her face.

And then she was it again, Monk looked up and smiled at her......a real smile. It made her heart flutter, and it took every ounce of self control she had not to kiss him in that one moment.

"Thank you." Adrian said with the smile still on his face. Natalie nodded her head slightly as she stared into his eyes. And Monk just did the same...just stared into her eyes.

And then...and then something completely unexpected happened, something that seemed absurd. Natalie leaned over...and kissed his cheek.

It was supposed to be a friendship kiss, a peck really...to show him that she cared for him. But Monk's eyes slanted and closed as he had watched her do so. When he slowly opened his eyes they locked with hers.

Then it happened again.....that which had never happened - happened AGAIN!!

Natalie couldn't have helped herself. The want and need for him had become one thing - driving her to kiss him. To take what she damn well thought was hers. He still froze, but a part of him still allowed Natalie to take control once more.

And it happened there, ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR!! Clothes were soon tossed away while passionate filled kisses hindered them slightly.

It had been months since it had happened the first time and the time spent reliving it was nothing compared to the actual recurrence of the act. It wasn't fast, and yet the urgency to the act shook both of them. This time though.....this time Natalie didn't need to move his hands as much.....this time he moved of his own volition. And this time it was Adrian that was crushing her.

It didn't take long before the culmination of their energy sent them soaring towards the explosion that made their bodies surrender in relaxation. Both voicing the completion of the act.

Neither moved for the longest time. Shaky breaths leaving their bodies as the sweat cooled their heated skin. Natalie took the precious moments by holding him to her, caressing his back with her finger tips. Feeling his breathe against her neck and wondering how either of them had gotten here. To this place where they had become more a part of each others lives than either one had ever thought possible.

His lips slowly kissing her neck made her close her eyes, her heart fluttered so violently that she was sure he felt it against his own chest.

But then the heaven that they were in couldn't have lasted long. Monk rolled away from her......and when his body hit the cold tile floor......reality hit.......and in full force.

"Oh My GOD!"

Adrian Monk realized......he was laying...naked......on his kitchen floor.

And it seemed as though the events of all those months ago replayed themselves.

Monk freaked out again, and Natalie again realized what she had done. Quickly she dressed and made a mad dash for her car, again crying.

But this time......this time something was different. This time as Adrian Monk cleaned all night...he cried too. Cried as he showered, cried as he cleaned.....all because he realized what it meant. He would always love Trudy, and he would never love anyone like he loved her.

But...but now he was in love with someone else...not like he loved Trudy...but it was just as strong - just different.

Monk had wanted to be with her...but at the same time feared it. It wasn't a phobia of germs or claustrophobia that had kept him away from her. Instead......it was the feeling of guilt. The feeling that he was betraying Trudy.

He _had_ betrayed Trudy.

It would take the visit of one Leland Stottlemeyer the next day for anyone to have known that Adrian Monk......was once more catatonic. The guilt and remorse had driven him into it.

Stottlemeyer had stood infront of Monk waving his hand back and forth, his eyes showing shock and sorrow......because he had seen this once before. When Trudy died.

Stottlemeyer tried to talk to him, tried to get him to speak....but it was no use. Monk couldn't hear him.

It was then that Stottlemeyer realized that he had to place a phone call. A long overdue one in fact.

Stepping out of the room and into the hall he called the only person he knew who could help his friend. Hoping that Adrian Monk.........wasn't gone forever.

Author's Note: Do you think you know who the person is? Maybe your right......and maybe you're wrong!! REVIEWS!!! Tell me who you think it is!!!!


	24. Breakdown

He had become a man. He still had the baby face of when he was a little boy but his body had become long and lean……and thanks to sports - muscular.

At the moment he was packing up his things with a smile at all the memories of each item. He was going to NYU…moving out of New Jersey he was going to be on his own.

It had been hell on earth when his mother discovered that he had been accepted to NYU. His mother had always been protective of him…but when the dust had settled, and she realized that he was no longer the little boy she thought he was…she had smiled at him and told him how proud of him she was.

His huge smile as he came across a picture of his mother and he with none other than Adrian Monk. Her mother never knew how much a part of his life Mr. Monk had been…until they had come back to New Jersey with his father.

The thought of his father made Benji stop smiling.

Putting away the picture he packed his things faster. Trying to block out the memories of the recent years he had experienced.

His mother had wanted a better life for them, had wanted him to spend time with his father……and things had been great…for awhile.

His father had started to drink again, not long after his parents had remarried. Things soon began to replay themselves. But he had been a little boy then...not able to do anything.

When he turned sixteen it seemed like everything hit the fan. His father was always yelling at his mother, that had always been a constant......but he was shocked when he witnessed his father hit his mother.

At sixteen he was his fathers weight and height......and it didn't take him long to push and hit his father out of the house.

Calling the police right away, he stood with the phone to his ear staring at his mother.

Her curly blonde hair had blood in it, and her mouth was filled with blood.

Until that moment he had never wished to go back to San Francisco...to go back to Mr. Monk and the life he had known. Until that moment......he had not understood how the best father he had ever known......was his mother's boss.

He was almost done packing when the phone rang. Putting down the boxes in his arms he grabbed the phone from the table.

"Hello?!"

It took the captain a second to connect the deep male voice.

"Benji?! Is that you?!"

A huge smile broke across Benji's face.

"Captain! It's been a long time."

Leland let out a huffed laugh at the realization that the deep male voice belonged to Benji.

"It sure has......listen um.....somethings......happened...and......is your mom there?"

Benji's face morphed into one of concern. Instantly he had figured out that something was very wrong. Benji had been just a child when his mother had started caring for him. He had grown up knowing Mr. Monk as the major male figure in his life...and even back then...back then when he was cata...

In the years that they had not seen Mr. Monk, not once had the captain called for his mother. It could only mean one thing.

"He's catatonic again............isn't he?" Benji asked.

Stottlemeyer let out a loud sigh. He didn't have the heart to answer.

Benji stood there with the phone in his hand as the realization of the situation hit him.

And then everything became clear. Monk needed them.

"We'll get the next flight out." Benji said with conviction.

Stottlemeyer closed his eyes and sighed out a 'thanks' and then heard the line close.

Flipping his phone closed Stottlemeyer let out a loud sigh as he turned and stared at the unmoving figure of one Adrian Monk.

* * *

Natalie sat in her chair in the corner of her bedroom, not moving...just staring out into the space in front of her - not really seeing anything. Flashes of what had happened continued to fill her mind.

All she could do was cry. It had happened again. And this time it was even worse than the first time. The way he had touched her...the way they had kissed. This time it all meant more. Yet here she sat...having run away again as he lost it once more.

She didn't know how long she sat there, all she knew was the ringing of her phone brought her back to the present. Grabbing her phone as she sniffled she saw who was calling. Letting out a shaky breath she wiped away a few tears before she opened the phone.

"Hello?"

"Natalie it's Leland. Umm.....I don't know how to say this...... so I'm just gonna say it..."

And that's when her world truly fell apart. As the captain spoke, fresh tears came to her eyes as grief and horror enveloped her.

The worst thing that could ever happened....had happened.

Barely getting out any words she told the captain that she would be right over. Taking a second as she put down the phone she looked up into her dresser mirror and saw how horrible she looked. She hadn't slept all night. Staying up all night had left her with red blood shot eyes and huge bags under them. Slowly she approached her image and examined herself...not just physically...but emotionally as well.

"I made this happen." She whispered to the mirror. "I did this."

It was like all those months ago when she had accidentally shot him, she knew she was to blame for him becoming this way.

Bracing her hands against the dresser she held her weight up and stared at herself long and hard. One thought among all the others rang the loudest.

_I can't lose him._

Natalie realized how stupid she had been, what she might have just lost forever. Ducking her head she allowed herself a few more tears to fall.

It was like losing Mitch all over again. But this was worse.

Bringing her head back up she admitted it to herself that she had almost definitely lost the man she loved.

Pulling away from the dresser she tried to keep it together. Moving to her bathroom she tried to keep it together, tried to keep herself from falling apart. As she moved into the shower it hit her. What she had done...what had happened.

She had just lost the man she loved.

Under the shower, with the water spilling over her hair and down her face, her tears mixed with the downpour. There in the shower she crumbled, allowing her sobs to wrack her body and leave her curled in the bottom of the tub. Holding herself she slowly rocked herself back and forth, thinking how she was going to help him now......if she was the one that did this to him.

And still the images of the night before came...and every beautiful moment she relived made her pain worse. Because the knowledge of knowing him that way.....had just ruined both of them.

* * *

Author's Note: I DEMAND REVIEWS!!! Come on people, tell me what you think!! The more incentive I have, the faster I write!!


	25. Worrying For A Friend

Many things had happened since she had moved back to New Jersey. Some good, and some bad. At the moment she was focusing on the good.

Benji…her little boy…was going to college.

She was so proud of him.

After the way she had struggled to provide for the both of them, it felt incredible to know it had all been worth it. That her son was getting the opportunities that she had always dreamed he could have.

Things were good right now.

As far as she was concerned…she had changed some…but her attitude was still as sharp and dramatic as ever…but when you grow up in Jersey – its to be expected. Her hair was now blonde, but her hair still had the same bounce as it did years ago. She was more updated…more in fashion than she had been before. In some ways she looked softer, not so rough around the edges.

All in all…she looked _and_ felt good.

So when she opened the door to her apartment…and found Benji sitting on the sofa with his luggage…and her own, it was easy to say she was worried.

"Benji (pointing to her luggage), what's goin' on?"

Benji was holding his hands together as he sat forward, twiddling his thumbs literally. Letting out a deep breath he stood up and reached for a piece of paper that was on the coffee table in front of him. Grabbing a piece of his luggage and his duffel bag he began to walk towards his stunned mother.

Stopping in front of his very worried mother, he handed her the paper.

Sharona looked at the paper and was confused for a few seconds.

The paper was information on two airline tickets purchased a few minutes ago. It was only when she read the destination did she suddenly perk up.

San Francisco.

"San Francisco? Benji I don't…" But before she could say anything Benji stopped her.

"Mom…It's Adrian…"

At this Sharona looked up with a slightly opened mouth and a shock in her face.

He gave her a few seconds to let the information absorb_. _And when it did he could see her beautiful blue eyes dull in pain.

Benji looked at his mom with his baby browns and slowly spoke his words.

"He needs us mom."

It was all too sudden for her. All too much.

Shaking her head logic finally hit her. "Wait! Wait!! Benji you're going to NYU…"

"MA!" Benji exclaimed with an aggravated tone. Knowing that he had cut off the major tirade that he had known would come.

Sharona looked up at her son in shock. It always astonished her these days, that her son was no longer a child. He was a man now, one that towered her in height and weight.

Somehow though he still looked soo young.

With the most serious face that she had ever seen on his face he made her understand what he was doing.

"College can wait ma……Monk can't."

Sharona slowly closed her mouth in silent understanding. Whatever had happened was truly bad. The worry that she had not had for so many years about her friend suddenly came rising up like a tidal wave. Yet her concern for her sons future leapt over her worry of Monk's wellbeing.

"Benji…(she started slowly) If somethin' happened to Adrian I can go by myself. You don't need to…"

"Ma…when (closing his mouth he looked away and then looked back at her), when you decided to remarry dad…and move us back to New Jersey……I didn't say a word."

Sharona's head pulled back in shock at her sons words.

"When everything happened with dad, and we still stayed here…I still didn't say anything. But…But now! Right now I'm sayin' somethin'."

Sharona stood in front of her son who she had to actually look up at, and realized that she had never known he had _wanted_ to say anything when she had remarried his father.

His stare was one of seriousness and absolution.

"I want to go back and see the only man that actually acted like my father."

And there it was. Out on the table. The hidden truth that he had never said to his mother.

Sharona seemed to slouch at the words as tears filled her eyes.

"(whispering the word) aww Benji…_(sniffling)_, why didn't you ever…"

Closing his eyes as he spoke, "Because I wanted to believe as much as you did!" He said fast.

Opening his eyes he saw the tears fall down his mother's face.

"Because I thought he really changed. And…now I wanna see the one person who was more of a father to me than my real one…………before it's too late."

It was those words that had sealed it for her. Sharona had said nothing, only nodding her head as a few more tears fell from her face as she swiped the others away from her eyes.

In an hour they were at the airport. Within three they were on the plane on the way to San Francisco California.

To say the least, they were on there way to one of the biggest adventures of both there lives.

* * *

After talking with Benji, and then Natalie, there was one more person that Leland knew he needed to call.

Dr. Bell.

Unfortunately as he dialed the number he truly felt like Dr. Bell wasn't the person that could really help Adrian.

No offense to Dr. Bell….but…Dr. Kroeger would have really known what to do here. Sadly it was something like this to make him understand how much he had truly helped Monk over the years. It didn't help that Leland didn't really click with Dr. Bell like he did with Dr. Kroeger.

He hadn't said much to Dr. Bell before Leland was interrupted and told that he would be right over, and promptly heard the click of the phone.

Leland had smiled at that.

_I guess Dr. Bell ain't so bad after all._

It seemed as though it didn't take long for those who knew Adrian Monk to become attached to him, and even protective.

Turning around Leland took a moment to check if Monk was still ok…or if he was still not moving.

Captain Stottlemeyer sighed out. Not thinking this could get any worse than it already had. That's when he heard a voice.

"Captain? The precinct just called and said…Hey Monk! What'cha lookin at?"

Stottlemeyer closed his eyes and let out another big sigh. _Of course it can._

Walking over to Randy who was trying to figure out what Monk was 'staring at' and trying to get him to listen was another test in his patience with the lad.

But when Randy finally listened to him, all Randy could do was turn and stare at Monk with sad eyes and then back at the captain.

"Is he gonna be ok?" Randy asked in a soft voice.

Leland grimaced with that big mustache of his and slowly stated the truth.

"I don't know."

Both of them stared at Monk for a few seconds, both wondering……what had caused Monk…to become like this.

* * *

Author's Note: SEE! I told you the more reviews I get the faster I write!! Tell me what you think people!! REVIEWS!!


	26. A Bizarre Thought

Author's Note: I know it took a long time for this chapter but show mercy! I've had the flu for over a week and a half!! Hopefully this chapters contents will satisfy your craving that you've had during this waiting period. REVIEWS!!! The More....the better!!

* * *

When she arrived at the apartment, she had to take a fortifying breath before she faced what lay inside. Bracing herself against what she knew had already broken her heart. Closing her eyes briefly she wondered how it had reached this point.

Nonetheless, she readied herself.

As she opened the door and saw no one in the hallway, she slowly entered. Letting a breath out she walked down the hallway.

"Hello!"

"Natalie!" Stottlemeyer said as he stepped out of the living room.

Natalie tried to look behind him to see if Monk was there, and sure enough she could she the top of his head as he sat in his chair.

"Is he ok? I mean…(finally looking at Stottlemeyer)"

Leland just puffed up with a huge breath and quickly deflated. Gravely…he shook his head no.

Natalie swallowed the sob that had wanted to escape her, repressing the tears that had started to water her eyes. Shaking her head she again looked at Stottlemeyer.

"What should we do?" She asked him.

"I ah, I called an old friend who might be able to help us. I also called Dr. Bell. He was actually in Nevada on some conference but…he said that he would be right over."

Natalie nodded her head and sniffled.

"Can…can I see him?"

Stottlemeyer smirked at Natalie and lifted up his arm, inviting her into the room by the gesture.

Taking a steadying breath she slowly entered the room.

Monk didn't move, not even as she entered into his line of sight. The second she took a better look at him, she realized how horrible he looked. It actually made her heart ache to see him like this.

Kneeling down she looked at his hand resting against the end of the arm of the chair. Slowly…she placed her hand on top of his.

He didn't react to her touch, if anything he didn't even notice it. And that made her cry. Trying to pull herself together, she tried to talk.

"Mr…Mr. Monk…it's……it's me. It's Natalie." She said as she searched his face for any acknowledgment, any sign saying that he was still there.

But there was nothing.

Natalie's eyes shown with tears as they slowly traveled down her face. Her hand caressing his as she tried to deal with what she had caused.

Why did she have to fall in love with him?

* * *

It had taken a little over six hours to arrive in San Francisco. All in all it had been a pretty smooth flight. But Sharona was still nervous and frightened.

Benji had told her what had happened. What the Captain had said. Her blue eyes stared at the all to familiar surroundings.

_God I missed this place! I even missed Adrian. Who woulda ever thought that I'd say that._

The truth of the matter was......she had missed Adrian Monk more than she had thought possible.

Adrian had become like a brother to her.....and they do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

But Sharona......Sharona had felt like something was missing all of these years. Yes she almost always ended up yelling at him, and yes she sometimes wanted to strangle him to death but......but Adrian Monk had become part of her family. Maybe more than she ever knew.

Sharona turned and looked at Benji, as he too stared out into the streets he use to play on. Not much had changed the years he had been away.

For Benji it was turning into a reliving of the best years of his life.

The sun was just starting to set when they reached Adrian's apartment. Benji had made arrangements to stay at a nearby hotel until they could determine just how bad the situation with Monk really was. But until then - they brought up there luggage.

Standing outside in the hallway, they readied themselves for what awaited inside.

Sharona slowly let out a breathe and reached out her hand and knocked on the door.

Both heard footsteps and then the door opened.

Neither of them recognized the person.

"Hello. I'm assuming you're Sharona." Dr. Bell said with a small smile.

Sharona smiled. "Yeah."

"Hmm yes. Adrian talks about you often." Reaching out his hand he simply says, "I'm Dr. Bell. I'm Adrian's Psychiatrist."

Sharona took the mans hand and shook it, even though she was confused.

"It's nice to meet you but um....(Sharona looked behind him)....what happened to Dr. Kroeger?"

Dr. Bell's small smile fell.

"He ah.....he passed away...a few years ago."

Sharona was shocked for a second, but then recovered.

"Sharona! How are yah?" Leland said as he came up and gave Sharona a bear of a hug. Sharona hugged him back tightly as tears formed in her eyes.

It was bad. If the captain was here it was bad.

"Hey..." Randy said quitely as he approached. Sharona opened her eyes to find Randy staring at her with this tender look in his eyes. Sharona couldn't stop the tears as she pulled away from the captain and let herself be hugged by Randy.

"It's been a long time." Randy said as he hugged her back just as fiercely as she hugged him.

"Hey Kiddo! Look at you!!" Stottlemeyer said to Benji. Benji giving the captain a smirk and a firm hand shake.

"Hey Cap...it's good ta see yah." Benji said warmly.

Sharona pulled away from Randy and sniffled as she tried to control herself. She knew Adrian didn't like to see tears. And it wasn't like her to fall apart...not when he needed her.

Slowly she rounded the corner, into the living room...and saw a blonde woman with stunning blue eyes with tears in her eyes and tears slowly sliding down her face. Sitting right next to her was a young girl, she was sitting on the arm of Monk's chair, holding a photo album that she was quite familiar with.

Natalie wiped away her tears from her face and slowly stood. "You must be Sharona."

Now Sharona didn't know what happened and she really had only talked to Natalie on the phone but......instinct was telling her that Natalie was the reason for this turn of events.

"You must be Natalie." Sharona said, not being cold, not even with attitude.

Sharona was here to help her friend...and that's why she needed to keep her cool.

Natalie reached out a hand. "It's really nice to finally meet you."

Sharona shook Natalie's hand and sniffled, her eyes turning to Monk.

"He's been like this for a least a 39 hours." Dr. Bell said as he re-entered the room.

Sharona slowly let go of Natalie's hand and approached Monk. Natalie made a motion with her head, making Julie leave her place by Mr. Monk and walk towards her mother.

Sharona took a second before she began to make the short step towards facing Monk. But when she did.....she was taken back to all those years ago. When she had first met him......right after Trudy had...

Sharona shook her head. Whatever had happened......it had to be big. It had to be really big.

Sitting on the foot rest Sharona stared into Adrian Monk's void eyes. It hurt to do so...but she did it.

"Hey Adrian..." Sharona whispered, but Natalie stared at Sharona as she used Monk's first name.

"It's me......it's Sharona."

Adrian didn't move, didn't respond in any way.

Sharona reached over and held his hand, getting close to him like she use to...getting into his personal space.

"Adrian...(her voice cracking)...Adrian......I know you can hear me." Sharona said as she searched Adrian's eyes.

"I don't know what happened...(she whispered)...but I'm gonna find out." Her eyes flicking over to Natalie, and then back to Monk. "I promise."

Monk's eyes remained void...no change. But Sharona knew he heard her. Slowly she hugged him tightly.

Natalie felt a wave of jealousy hit her as she watched Sharona speak softly to Monk, touch him more intimately then she had ever dared. Well.....until recently that is. She blushed for a second before she could regain her good senses.

Still though.....as she watched Sharona talk to Monk and slowly lift him up from the chair, her jealousy skyrocketed. The way he let himself be helped by her...it made her come to a bizarre thought.

What if Sharona Fleming......was in love with Adrian Monk?

* * *

Author's Note: I'm laughing evilly right now. I can just imagine what some of you are thinking right now! Well...I hope you know what this means......Natalie and Sharona are gonna bump heads. I can't wait to write the next few chapters!! And if your the same way...you better type those reviews!!


	27. Time Passes

Sharona took no notice of the way Natalie was looking at her…nor the way Stottlemeyer smiled at the way Monk was already improving with Sharona here. The smirk forming on his face unfortunately was caught by Natalie.

An uneasy feeling settled in her stomach as the thought of Sharona and Monk together suddenly didn't seem so ridiculous. Sharona was holding his hand without a sign of any hesitation or fear of germs. He let himself almost be held by her as she directed Monk into the dining room where she helped him sit.

And it was almost as if Natalie were watching a movie…watching as Sharona moved to the kitchen to prepare Monk a meal; as if nothing had changed in all the years she had been gone. When she had abandoned Adrian without waiting for him to find someone else…she had left - and now she was back. Taking her place back from her, Natalie felt as though she were being tossed aside.

Natalie shook her head, trying to rid herself of the thoughts that suddenly were tormenting her.

Sharona was just here to help Monk back to his usual self - nothing more.

"She's good with him…isn't she." Dr. Bell asked as his eyes switched from Natalie to Sharona. A little twinkle in his eye that Natalie didn't seem to see.

Natalie couldn't take her eyes off the scene before her.

Watching Sharona feed Monk a cubed sandwich with the crust cut off almost seemed like she was witnessing an incredibly private moment between lovers.

Anger and jealousy surged through her at the scene. The anger was becoming obvious on her face and Dr. Bell was getting the best seat in the house in witnessing Natalie's emotional turmoil.

It was incredibly interesting to watch Natalie's obvious dislike for the first time met friend of Monk's. And it was also interesting for him to figure out WHY exactly Natalie was feeling these emotions towards Sharona.

Inside the living room Julie was staring at Sharona as she fed Monk, feeling almost the same emotions as her mother - not knowing that Benji was staring at her in a sort of awe.

Benji had seen many beautiful women in New Jersey…but this one had an almost regal elegance to her that he had never seen before.

Stepping slowly towards her he said a very quiet 'hi' to her. It caused Julie to turn and take notice of him.

Benji smiled at her as he stared into beautiful blue eyes.

Extending his hand he said almost coyly "You must be Julie."

Julie was like her mother in many ways, and flirting had been something that she had inherited from her mother. Benji...was good looking, tall, and he had a persuasive smile that she tried to resist but, really she barely could as a similar smile broke across her face.

Randy smiled as he watched Benji and Julie 'talk' as he read the sparkle in both of their eyes. Randy had always thought that Benji and Julie would have gotten along; one of the many thoughts that swirled around in his mind. In his opinion they looked cute together. At the moment though, even Randy was concerned about how Monk was acting.

Turning he slowly tried to reason with himself why Monk would become like this, his mind bending and twisting with an odd conclusion of Monk had to have an encounter with an alien species...which caused him to shut down.

Hazardously the idea continued into a rather unusual thought.

_Are aliens clean or are they dirty? Because if they were infested with germs Monk would most definitely flip out…_

It was a good thing that Stottlemeyer was oblivious to Randy's absurd thoughts, because at the moment he felt as nervous as he had ever been. The timing of Monk folding in on himself was horrendous. Just when he thought they were making some segway on the Novikov case. Anytime the Russian Mob was involved he felt jumpy and weary of what secrets he was going to discover.

All in all the whole situation was leaving him uneasy. But as Sharona feed Monk the piece of sandwich and crumbs covered his face and onto his shirt, he knew that his friend was in more trouble than any of them would ever expect.

None of them would ever imagine just what it would take to bring Monk back to them.

* * *

Two weeks...two weeks later and Monk had shown no improvements. Sharona had been by his side the whole time. Everyone could tell by the look in her eyes that her heart was heavy with worry. Blood shot eyes masked her beautiful blue that usually shined with mischief...now though they were dull and void of happiness.

Natalie had also been there. Watching Sharona nurse Adrian, and still not saying a word about her suspicions, Natalie was tending to the bills and the over all cleaning of the house. Not once did she comment on the way Sharona would brush away his hair from his forehead, or how her hands were constantly on him - either from guiding him places...or even worse...dressing him. That alone almost made her explode.

Worst part was that she and Sharona barely talked. Mostly it was just information that they past between them about what was happening with Monk and how he was doing.

Natalie of course was hiding her real feelings from everyone. In the privacy of her own bedroom she would break down each night. Nothing had ever been this hard. Not losing Mitch, not realizing she would forever be a single parent. Nothing would ever be as difficult as realizing she had caused him to stop living.

Pillow's soacked with tears were the constant in her life now. And still nothing would have prepared Natalie for how Adrian Monk would come back to her.

* * *

Author's Note: I promise the next chapter is going to be ten times better!! For now...I had to write something to show time passing! Do guys know what it's going to take to bring Monk back?


	28. Needing

Author's Note: Just found out the Sharona is coming back to Monk for the final season! Hehe...did I call it or what?! Now lets see if it's like I think...that Natalie's going to be jealous and Sharona is going to be suspicious of Natalie. Maybe! I can't WAIT to see what happens!!!

* * *

Natalie sat at Monk's desk, meticulously making out checks for all of the bills that continued to flow in. The captain had talked with the mayor and had gratefully received some help in Monk's finances. Though the generosity of the mayor was a good some of money - it still didn't cover all the expenses.

Stottlemeyer had made sure that Sharona would get paid for her services by Monk's insurance, as well as Natalie - claiming that she was also taking care of Monk. Still Natalie had to take on a 'normal' job to cover all of the bills that Monk and herself included needed to survive.

Even after a long day at work, she would drive to Monk's and watch Sharona literally feed him, and even clean his face and mouth. While the whole time she watched, Natalie's heart would ache and her fear would overwhelm her. Fear that he would remain like this for the rest of his life.

And she just couldn't bare that. Finally, after everything they had been through, after all the time she had spent trying to deny and escape her feelings - he took all of her choices away by doing this to himself.

At the moment Sharona was busy keeping everything clean in Monk's path. Natalie was sure to help her out when she was pretty certain that Sharona couldn't make everything as clean as Monk liked.

Neither one of them really talked much, both just seemed to allow the other to be as they both shared the responsibility of making sure that Monk was fine.

So with that in mind, one would understand why Natalie almost jumped three feet in the air when Sharona said her name to get her attention.

"Sorry...what?" Natalie asked a little embarrassed about being so zoned out that she hadn't noticed Sharona standing right behind her.

"Sorry ta' ask yah this but...I really need to go see about the apartment down on Market street. A friend of mine use to rent their and put in a good word for me. But I still need to see if the apartments not rat infested. Do you mind if I leave you alone with Monk while I go down there."

Natalie had to shake herself out of her thoughts, "Oh! Ah...sure! I can handle it." Natalie said semi-sure that she could.

"Great! Look...I'll be back as soon as I can. I already gave him breakfast and I'm giving him lunch around one o'clock. The sandwiches are already made and in the fridge - just in case I don't make it back in time could you make sure he eats?"

In her mind, Sharona was risking Monk's well being by leaving him alone with Natalie. But she needed to leave if she had any chance of finding a place to live for her and Benji. Even if she called Stottlemeyer or Randy, she couldn't very well tell them that she thought Natalie had something to do with why Monk was comatose again.

They had become friends in the time that she had been in New Jersey. Sharona felt a twinge in her stomach as she realized the Randy had even become closer to Natalie than to her.

Shaking her head she brought herself back to reality and quickly said a goodbye as headed out the door - hoping she wasn't making the biggest mistake of all time.

* * *

Natalie had long since finished all the bills and was sitting by Monk - just staring at him.

He of course was staring off into nothing.

Natalie's blue sad eyes stared into his face and wondered how many times she had felt pity for him? How many times had she thought that someone would be insane to fall in love with him?

_God I'm an idiot!_

Reaching over she took his hand in her own and caressed it with her thumb.

Over the years they had grown closer and closer. Well...she grew closer and closer to him. She had nearly lost him several times in the past few years. And after everything that they had both overcome...it was his mind that had taken him away from her.

Standing up she kneeled down beside him and turned his face with her hands.

"Adrian I need to talk with you." She said as she caressed his face. Still there was no change.

Natalie searched his face, trying to see if there was any recognition in his eyes...but nothing.

Natalie's eyes began to tear up as she just stared into his empty face. Then...something inside of her snapped.

SLAP

Natalie tried to control her breathing as the anger in grew as she saw that his face was still empty - no expression of pain whatsoever after the hard slap she had delivered to his face.

"Stop it!" She said through clenched teeth.

Still Monk remained motionless.

Then she began to hit him and shove him, trying to make him react...to do anything at all.

And as the anger poured out of her she began to sag against him as tears replaced her closed fists.

Collapsing against him she sobbed against his chest. Wrapping her arms around his frame she let herself cry in his arms until she couldn't cry anymore.

Slowly she pulled back from him.

Looking up into his eyes all she wanted was for him to speak...move...anything.

He didn't have to love her back...he just needed to come back to her. That all.

Tilting her head up she kissed his lips. Slowly, trying to memorize the feel of his lips against her own, almost as if she would never get the chance again.

Slowly her lips caressed his over and over, closing her eyes and sighing against his lips as she let herself be overwhelmed by the feel of him. Her hands began to drift along his body and soon found exactly where they wanted to be.

Monk's mind had been drifting in an abyss of nothing, his brain trying to save itself from the millions of thoughts that caused him such distress and self-loathing......when his brain began to send screeching signals of a......a certain sensation.

Drifting back to consciousness almost shocked him, but as his brain continued to send signals of sensation he blinked his eyes several times.

Natalie was unaware of any change and continued to lose control of herself against him. It wasn't her fault...she had begun to lose herself. Not just physically...but mentally. Natalie's mind just couldn't handle things the way they were.

Suddenly though she felt his lips move against hers. Stopping suddenly she looked up into his eyes. But she didn't see any change in his features - Nothing!

Again tears gathered in her eyes as she pressed herself against him and kissed him with such desperation.

Adrian's mind was trying to decipher the sensation and slowly the lips against his own registered, and on instinct returned the motion. Soon though the lips moved more aggressively and a wet sensation on his face continued to bring Adrian back to the now.

Natalie didn't notice at first the arms that began to wrap around her...but when she did she was far too gone to stop herself. In fact when she felt him respond her body's reaction almost doubled with sensory overload.

Adrian didn't know why this was happening but the way Natalie was touching him and kissing him and just everything led them to do what had caused Adrian's ordeal.

But this time......this time Natalie begged him to stay with her...told him that she needed him.

She needed him.

Through the haze and disorientation- that was all Monk had to know...Natalie...needed him.

When the last gasp left there bodies, and both continued to hold each other tight, both felt something in them shift and change.

Monk felt something he hadn't felt since Trudy had died. Safe.

For the first time in so long...Monk felt safe. And Monk knew...nothing could ever be the same between them. And for some reason...it felt right to him.


	29. Distance

Author's Note: I apologize to everyone for how long it has taken me to update! Life gets in the way! So to make it up to you guys I'm letting my fingers fly and sending out another chapter for you guys to drool over! I really appreciate all the reviews...they really inspire me to keep going!

* * *

Natalie and Monk tried to calm there breaths, tried to stop the overwhelming emotions that flooded the both of them. But most of all - they tried to overcome just how much they needed the others touch.

Adrian's eyes closed slowly and drowsily as his body and mind adjusted to once more being conscious and in control - even if his actions had spoken otherwise. The sensation of Natalie's frame against her own had been foreign and unwelcome not so long ago. Now it felt right...natural even...and nothing EVER felt natural for him.

Natalie's breath fell against the side of his neck as his shoulder cradled her neck. Keeping his eyes closed he wrapped his arms around her and held her against him. Wondering maybe for the first time if they were meant to be. If after everything that they had both been through...if after all the loss and all the pain...if it was all leading to this moment in time.

Adrian Monk had spent almost all of his life afraid. Afraid of change, afraid of loss...afraid of just living.

Yet the woman that he now held in his arms had challenged him...in all of those aspects. Challenging him and in some instances even torturing him. But above all things - she had been there. The blond angel in his arms had been there for him when he had felt the most alone in the world.

Things were changing so fast for him.

Natalie's thoughts weren't that different from Monk's. Of course the thing floating through her mind more was what damage had she caused now. Almost instantly did she realize that she could have hurt him even more than she already had. Instead, something happened that left her astonished.

Slowly Monk turned his head towards her face and kissed her softly on her cheek. Soft delicate kisses that made her heart flutter. Lifting her head up she let her lips brush softly with his. Allowing herself the weakness of crying against him still and letting his lips plunder her own of the little oxygen her lungs contained.

Neither moved for quiet some time...softly caressing the other with warm hands and soft finger tips.

Natalie felt blessed that Monk hadn't shut down again...or that he hadn't freaked out yet again. It felt so good to be in his arms, to feel safe with him. Adrian couldn't simplify the emotions coursing through his being. Every time he felt her skin against his own he felt a short wave of panic and disgust...but a moment later would feel exhilarated and peaceful.

Feeling her heart beat against his own seemed like the most natural thing in the world. Having her against his chest and shoulder somehow felt like it had always been that way.

After minutes had passed...Monk started to feel very uncomfortable once more as they were still intimately joined. Even with his discomfort he suppressed the need to move away, and for the first time spoke softly against her forehead.

"Natalie...we need to clean up."

Natalie had tensed slightly at hearing her name...but when the others words came it made her smirk then smile. The words so familiar it made her relax instantly. Turning her head against his shoulder she nodded slightly and placed a soft kiss against his shoulder blade.

Natalie slowly moved off of Adrian and hunted down her clothes and undergarments that had been thrown about in the heat of the moment. Monk tried to fight the overwhelming sense of embarrassment and awkwardness.

It wasn't really his fault. Adrian Monk had never had encounters with women like he had with Natalie. Even with all of his phobias and self consciousness...Monk found himself sneaking peeks at Natalie as she dressed.

Again it wasn't his fault. It was all too new and freeing for him.

He gathered his clothes and headed for the bathroom down the hall. The sensation of walking around naked in his own house odd and strangely freaky. Within minutes he was in his all to familiar routine of cleaning himself in the shower as Natalie sat in his bedroom waiting for him to finish.

She knew better then to take a shower in his bathroom. Even after everything she realized Adrian Monk still had his limits. Thinking about what was happening between them only seemed to leave her more confused. Instead she just stared at Adrian's bureau, staring at everything that reminded her of him.

A few minutes later Monk emerged from the bathroom, freshly cleaned and still a bit damp. He was fully dressed and buttoning his cuff as he entered. Neither of them were prepared for how awkward they felt. It was still too new to both of them, both of there eyes shifted over and over - to each other and away.

Adrian tried to calm down and straighten out his thoughts...but everything always came back to one thing.

One person.

Trudy.

If he really loved Trudy...why was he well...doing what he was doing with Natalie.

It wasn't for the physical intimacy. Anyone who knew Monk would know that wasn't the issue.

Could it possibly be that he was...could Natalie really be ....with him?

Just the idea seemed impossible. Natalie needed no one. If anything it was the opposite. He needed _her_ for everything. Picking out clothes he needed her opinion, what he should eat for dinner, the woman basically was everything that Trudy had been to him.

His wife. His guide. Light through the darkness that lurked inside his soul that he couldn't seem to shake.

Natalie had the ability to lead him out of that dark place with her smile and corny jokes.

Why couldn't he be with her? Why couldn't Natalie really be his?

Trudy.

Trudy had loved him in a way that had healed him of almost all of his phobias.

His eyes again drifted back to the blond angel that sat almost shyly on his bed. Blue eyes stared into his brown - and for one moment of clarity her realized that the softness in them held something he had seen many a time in her eye...but never had he truly read into the look. Always assuming it was pity or understanding.

At the moment he knew what it was.

He was sure of it.

It was love.

Love absorbed into angel blue eyes that could light the way through the hell that was his life.

Yet the thing that kept him from saying a word, the thing that made him step back from her at that very moment wasn't of her feelings or how anything could possibly work between them. Instead it was a simple question. One question that defined the very nature of his being - the question that had made any possibility of him having relationships in the past.

Could he possibly love Natalie like he loved Trudy...and not betray Trudy by doing so?

Again he looked away from Natalie and then back, fidgeting uncontrollably. Uncomfortable in his own skin, not for the hundredth time in the last few minutes, he tried to gather the courage to say something. Anything.

Any word that would leave his mouth, causing him to say more. But no words came out.

Both froze as the heard the front door open and a voice ring out.

Natalie and Adrian turned for a brief second to look at each other. Everything had been left unspoken, time being an enemy that they both knew oh so well.

Monk saw the way her eyes dulled as she too realized that their only chance of talking had been taken away from them. Worst of all was the way her glow, her shine dulled almost instantly. As if the happiness inside her had vanished at the sound of Sharona's voice.

"Natalie where's..." Sharona stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Monk standing and looking at her with a little smirk forming on his face. Sharona dropped the items in her hands as she cupped her mouth and teared up instantly at the sight of him.

Monk just turned toward Sharona and again fidgeted. He always felt self-conscious when people stared.

Sharona moved her hands away from her mouth and whispered out his name, almost thinking that she was hallucinating.

Monk nodded slightly and whispered out 'I'm ok.'

That was all it took for Sharona to start crying and slowly walk forward and hug him to her body as tight as she could. Monk felt extremely uncomfortable in Sharona's tight embrace, but he felt even more confused when Natalie got up from the bed and made her way out of the room. And as Sharona continued to cry against him, and the more distance Natalie gained between them...the more he feared that they would never be.


	30. Shocking Awakenings

Author's Note: Sorry It took so long but I assure you this chapter was worth the wait. Tell me what you think people! You know you want to.

* * *

Monk couldn't think straight. This in itself was a novelty. But under the circumstances anyone who actually knew Adrian Monk would certainly understand why.

Normally when it came to rational thought and just plain logic Monk was the number one person to talk to – to work out problems in a diligent and calm manner. Yet as he stared at the empty space in front of him he found himself unable to think. As odd as it was, in some ways it was liberating. Most of the time his thoughts consisted of mysteries and random possibilities.

But none like these.

Standing there he realized he could still feel Natalie's breath against his lips. Pressure of her fingers on his skin had left their impressions on him.

Sharona was talking to him but he wasn't listening. In all honesty his mind was completely on Natalie. The moment he met her he knew he had found trouble…he just never imagined that it would be this kind of trouble.

Seeing it in her eyes had been both shocking and exhilarating. It was written in her eyes soo clearly that he knew that he was an idiot for not having seen it before. He had seen that look in her eyes before…even back when they first met…but he had never thought it…

Shaking his head he tried to tell himself that he was wrong. That he was just imagining things. Blue bright eyes flashed in his minds eye. Seeing her beautiful blue eyes shining like stars were caught in them, he knew that he was.

He barely realized Sharona putting on his coat and ushering them out the door. Before he realized what was happening he found Leland in front of him waving a hand in his face.

It took him a minute before he realized that he was at the precinct.

"I thought you said he snapped out of it." He heard Leland say to Sharona.

Blinking Monk finally spoke.

"I did...I mean...I'm back." Monk said with a shrug followed by a shoulder twitch.

Leland seemed shock that the statue in front of him moved and then a huge smile broke across his face.

"Damn it's good to see you!" Leland said with a laugh and a punch to Monk's shoulder...which of course made Monk wince in pain, and then cover the spot with his hand.

"Captain!" Sharona said suddenly as her eyes met Stottlemeyer's and then Monk's. "Can we talk in private for a moment?"

While Stottlemeyer looked quizzically at Sharona he agreed and slowly moved toward Sharona with his arm stretched out - inviting her into his office.

Monk stood their for a few seconds before moving over to a chair and sitting down, still contemplating this whole Natalie thing. As he did he couldn't help but notice the pencils on the desk in front of him were all different lengths. It was stronger than him...he had to make them all the same size.

A young woman that was handcuffed to the chair across from him stared at him in mild shock and...worry.

The woman observed him critically as he completed his task, after which she watched him try and turn away as another man who was cuffed to the chair behind him began to cough without covering his mouth. In little time she began to smirk as she watched with mirth at Monk's discomfort.

It took minutes for Monk to finally jump up and try to stop the man from coughing, in which time the young woman studied him. After he relented in his attempt to stop the man from coughing he again sat down in the chair he had previously been sitting in.

Monk raised his shoulder as he twitched again as the man behind him continued to cough.

"You know your going to get hurt whether you protect yourself or not."

Monk jumped slightly at the voice but soon turned to look at the woman.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Monk asked as he didn't really hear what she had said.

The woman smirked at him causing a weird sensation to overcome Monk. He was uncertain of the feeling but nonetheless it caused him to actually pay close attention to the woman.

"I said your going to get hurt whether you protect yourself or not. The harder you try to protect yourself the more you get hurt in the end."

Monk stared at the light blue eyes that were scanning his brown and could have sworn she was reading his mind.

"I'm sorry," the woman said as she saw just how distraught Monk looked, "my husband always use to say I had a nack for saying the most inappropriate of things." With that she looked away and then stared down at the ground. As if she had made herself sad.

"It's ok." Monk said swiftly and quickly examined her wording. "You said 'use to'. Does that mean..."

"Yes." She said quickly.

Seeing that she was handcuffed Monk assumed made the connection.

"Did you kill him?"

"No!" The woman said loud enough to cause others in the room to turn and stare at her.

Monk stared directly into her eyes and saw truth there...it wasn't often that he did...but he saw it in this woman's eyes.

"My name is Adrian Monk. I'm a consultant for the police department."

The woman said nothing for a moment, then looked at her lap again and up into his eyes once more.

"Gertrude Bakker. But my friends call me Trudy."

* * *

Julie jogged down the staircase to the door and rolled her eyes when she noticed John standing behind the door. She hadn't exactly been nice to John since Monk had been sick. In all honesty she didn't understand why her mom was seeing this guy. He always seemed so fake to her. In the past few months she had tried to do everything in her power to make John and her mother break up...but ever since Mr. Monk had gone into a catatonic state John had been over more and more. The utter sad thing was...mom didn't seem to care that he was around...at all.

"Hey Julie! Is your mom home?" John asked with an annoyingly sweet smile.

Julie faked smiled and said "No. She's working right now."

John scrunched up his face and then huffed out a laugh.

"I highly doubt that. I just came from the precinct. Sharona was with Monk but...Natalie was nowhere to be seen."

At this Julie's face dropped.

"Mr. Monk's ok? When did this happen?" Julie asked slightly shocked but the hope in her voice was undeniable.

"Apparently today." John lifted up his finger and made a face, "You mean to tell me you know nothing about this?"

"No! Why would I lie?" Julie said with an annoyed face.

It was then that something unexpected happened.

John quickly reached out and grabbed Julie by her neck and forced out of the house.

"Trying to keep mommy from me..." He said viciously into her face, with wild eyes that scared Julie stiff.

"Now.." He said slowly as he brought his face millimeters from Julie's face...almost as though he were going to kiss her. "Your going to be a good girl and tell me where she is." This was followed by a squeeze to her throat.

"I..I don't know." Julie said extremely frightened by this sudden look of insanity in his eyes.

It took a few seconds for John to look into her eyes and realize she was telling the truth. An evil smile spread across his face.

"Ok." He said in a fake sweet voice.

"You know Monk has no chance of getting back into the force......at least not without inside help. And your mom...well (smiling again) if she were to find out about this little conversation...well.....let's just say bad things happen to good people."

Julie was trembling in his hold as he increased the hold on her neck and brought his lips down on her own. Julie tried to pull away but he held her that much tighter.

Yanking back he looked into her eyes with such a glare that Julie then began to struggle and try and pull away.

John let her as he laughed at her.

"Remember. One word...and bad things can happen."

* * *

Author's Notes: I know I'm evil...but you love me any way. I hope you enjoyed this short little chapter. If you liked it...let me know and more shall come faster!


	31. Kinship

Author's Note: By Popular Demand ANOTHER CHAPTER!!!! Thank you! Thank you! Hold the applause paleeeaaase!

* * *

Natalie couldn't understand what was happening to her. The more time passed the more confused she became.

Starring out across the bay with her hands over the railing she repeatedly ran her thumbs over each other, knowing that she was falling deeper in love with a man that was inaccessible. And it seemed the more she fell for him the farther out of reach he seemed.

Natalie huffed out a frustrated laugh at herself. Shaking her head the words 'who would have thought' seemed to continually pop into her mind.

Today had been incredible for her. They had made love for the third time - and he had come to her. Masculine hands had touched her with such gentleness that for one brief moment she had thought...she had thought he was in love with her too.

Before she knew it she was crying.

Natalie had thought she had seen it in his eyes. "Maybe" she had thought, just maybe he loved her back. Now more than ever she realied she couldn't stay away from him. Even after seeing Sharona hold him like he belonged to her - she knew she had to protect him.

Sharona had already left him once, and she'd be damned if she would let it happen again.

Natalie believed the years she had spent with him led her to feel that she knew him better than Sharona ever could. Not just because of what had happened in recent months - but because of what they had been through together. From how she began to work for him to saving each others lives - in more ways than one - they had become closer than she ever thought possible.

Her faced morphed into one of distaste as she pictured Sharona taking care of Adrian. The way she seemed to always be touching him and caring for him. It was driving her INSANE!!

Every now and then she would catch Sharona staring at Monk with tears in her eyes while her hand would caress his cheek.

Until today she had thought it was only because they had been friends for so long that Sharona was sad to see him like that.

But the look in her eyes as she saw him today......it made her think that there was something more.

Pulling away from the railing she realized she really needed someone to talk to. Someone that could help her understand what this all meant.

Then inspiration struck as she realized exactly who.

Dr. Bell.

* * *

Monk's face showed so much pain as the woman spoke her name. Trudy. People called her Trudy.

"Are you ok?" Trudy asked in concern. "Mr. Monk.."

"Ye..Yes. I'm ok." He said quietly as he examined the woman before him.

Blonde hair with bright blue eyes that stared at him in a way that unnerved him.

"It seemed like you were looking through me for a second."

Monk nodded again but he wasn't listening.

"Trudy?" the defective detective asked.

"Yeah......is that it? My name..." She never got to finish her question as Monk interrupted her.

"It was my wife's name..."

Trudy stared into his eyes and understood those words oh so well. Nodding her head she asked "When did she die?"

"Eleven years ago." Monk answered quickly.

Trudy nodded her head as her eyebrows furrowed.

"Doesn't matter how much time passes," at this Monk was jarred from his thoughts of his late wife and to the woman that was sitting in front of him, "the pain still feels the same."

It took a few moments for Monk's mind to actually work out her words, but he did get it.

"You husband didn't just pass away......he's been dead for a while."

"Five years." Trudy said as she starred out into empty space in front of her in what Monk recognized as deep thought.

"It's strange isn't it?" Trudy began. "How you can miss a persons scent and touch."

Monk said nothing as he himself began to remember those sensations of his Trudy.

"They become an extension of yourself...how you share yourself emotionally and physically with them. You become possessive of them body and soul...yet...yet you can't do that with the people who are your friends and family."

Monk felt like the woman handcuffed to the chair was reading his thoughts. How he himself felt but yet couldn't express.

Trudy turned and finally looked at him.

"My best friend David died last night."

Monk was a little shocked at the words. He didn't understand the connection until her next words came out.

"He told me he had been in love with me for years. That he didn't act on it because of my loyalty to Michael."

Monk concluded quickly that Michael was her dead husband. Empathizing with the woman he completely understood what she was talking about. If anyone knew what she was talking about it would most definitely be him. He realized that she was crying a second later, and felt extremely uncomfortable.

"I let him die without letting him know that I loved him back."

It was this statement that made Monk's mind jump to Natalie.

"I just couldn't...I wanted to..but I was too afraid to. And now...now the police think I killed my husband so I could be with David." She let out a sad laugh as tears fell down her face.

Monk didn't know what to say yet he found himself feeling a kinship to this woman. Something that he never really had with anyone else...well...except maybe Harold Krinshaw. But only recently had they become friends.

"I wish I would have told told. I wish...I would have just kissed him......just to let him know that..." Trudy never finished as she closed her eyes and let the tears fall down her pale cheeks.

"They arrested me right in front of him....I never even got to say good bye."

Monk didn't say anything for a long time...until three words left his mouth.

"I'll help you."

Trudy opened her eyes and looked over at Monk.

"I believe you...and...I think I can help you."

* * *

Author's Notes: I'm trying for the next chapter for tomorrow. Hopefully I can get the next few chapters up by the end of the week. Reviews always seem to make me work faster!! :)


	32. A New Case

Author's Note: I can't believe I actually managed another chapter ~ I must be on a roll!

* * *

It wasn't in Natalie's nature to be so out right devious...but a woman in her position would do exactly what she was doing. Slowly she opened the file and braced herself for secrets that she knew Sharona flemming had.

You may ask what file Natalie was holding, and that would be a good question. A good question with a fairly simple answer, but a huge story behind it.

Having decided that she need to talk to someone she had indeed gone to Dr. Bell and had managed for him to talk to her within a few minutes. It didn't take long for her to concoct a version of her real problem by making her 'boyfriend' John as the man in her story. Of course she really had to edit many parts of what happened because Monkisms were extremely obvious in certain cases.

Dr. Bell had told her what she dreaded. That she just had to talk with 'John' and let him know how he felt. Of course it just wasn't that easy.

In the end she had thanked him and was about to leave when Dr. Bell asked where Monk was. Quickly she had answered with Sharona...which made him quickly ask her if she was referring to Sharona Flemming. Then something very odd happened. Something that caused her to stop in her tracks.

"Would you please tell her, that I have her file if she wanted to pick it up I'd be more than obliged to have it for her before she leaves."

This of course made her extremely curious.

"File? What file?"

Dr. Bell had explained that she had been referred most of Dr. Kroeger's patients and her file had been somehow mixed in with the others. In no way could Natalie let the opportunity to see that file pass her by. Innocently she had offered her help in bringing the file to Sharona for him.

It had taken little coaxing to allow her to 'take the file to Sharona'.

That was where she now found herself. Looking through Sharona Flemmings psychiatric file.

It didn't take long for Natalie to read the file...and it practically made her blood boil.

Sharona had the nerve to blame Adrian for her 'mental breakdown'. Not to mention what else was written in the file about her resentment towards Adrian, and her overall conversation with the late Dr. Kroeger.

By the end Natalie was sitting in her car gripping the will and trying to keep herself from yelling out right.

At the moment she didn't want that woman any where around Adrian. It was a total a hundred eighty degrees. From thinking that Sharona was in love with him to thinking she was a nutcase.

Natalie was afraid.

Afraid that Sharona would hurt Adrian. Afraid Sharona WAS really in love with him. Afraid that just maybe she was in love with a man that would never love her back. That today she had made love to him for the last time.

Natalie had that look on her face, a look that showed she was completely lost and had no clue what to do.

Her phone beeping made her look over to her cup holder where her phone was sitting. Reaching over she saw that she had received a call from the police station. The first thought through her head was that something had happened to Adrian. Immediately she turned on the car and threw the gears into drive.

* * *

Sharona felt frustrated after talking with the captain. Expressing her concerns about how she thought Natalie was to blame for Monk's recent catatonic state had made the captain chuckle. Leland had actually defended Natalie, saying that 'things had changed' and that 'Natalie's not like that'. It had gone on for a little under and hour, leaving her frustrated and the captain worried that Sharona was going to have it out with Natalie if he didn't do something to stop it.

When she finally walked out of Stottlemeyers office she stopped dead in her tracks as she saw Monk handing a woman one of his wipes. For some odd reason the sight was too uncommon for what she remembered Monk to be like. The Adrian she knew barely tolerated people who cried. It made him outright uncomfortable to deal with emotions...especially those that involved runny noses and the act of blowing ones nose.

However, there he was. Offering a complete stranger one of his precious wipes.

"I promise...I'll...I'll find who killed your husband."

Sharona's head went back and then she let herself give a little nod as she heard Monk reveal what had caused him to be so kind to the woman.

As she approached she quickly spoke up to Adrian to let him know that they needed to get going.

Monk looked up at Sharona with this sad look.

"Trudy." He whispered out.

Sharona felt her chest tighten as she prepared herself for the mumblings that he first had when he first came out of his first breakdown.

When the woman turned and Sharona saw her bright blue eyes she had a distinct feeling like she had seen this woman's eyes before. Shaking herself out of it, she came to her senses and extended her hand.

"Hi. I'm Sharona. I'm a friend of Adrian's."

Smiling as much as she could Trudy extended her free hand and shook Sharona's hand.

"Gertrude Bakker. But ah...*sniff* you can call me Trudy."

Immediately her eyes jumped to Adrian's. He saw the sad look in his eyes and kept her mouth shut. Knowing that she would need to talk to him the second they left the station.

"Nice to meet you." Sharona responded to Trudy's greeting followed by Trudy responding back the same.

"She didn't do it." Monk stated, having both woman look at him.

Monk's eyes were on Sharona's.

Sharona let out a huge sigh and then turned back her attention to Trudy. With a smirk and in true Sharona fashion she stated what she obviously knew.

"Looks like we have a case to work on."

* * *

By the time Natalie reached the station both she and Sharona were forced to deal with each other...by not dealing with each other. Monk had quickly become Gong Ho on Trudy's innocents. With in a few minutes Stottlemeyer was arguing with Monk about all the evidence stacked against Trudy. Monk didn't want to hear it. All he kept saying was 'She didn't do it."

Everyone exchanged knowing looks and finally came to terms with Monk's persistence.

It took only twenty minutes to go over the evidence for Monk to find the inconsistencies. And with that Stottlemeyer gave him the back up he needed to look into the case.

Unfortunately Stottlemeyer knew that he couldn't actually release her. There wasn't enough to show that she wasn't involved at all, but enough for him to give into Monk's curiosity.

Monk reassured Trudy before leaving that he would do everything he could to prove her innocents. Stottlemeyer did Monk the favor of keeping her in jail and not taking her up to the prison, giving Monk a window of 36 hours to come up with something.

It would test the patience of both Natalie and Sharona.

* * *

Author's Notes: Don't lie! You know you love me!! :D So review and let me know if these little short chapters are making you salivate for more!


	33. Ding Ding!

Author's Note: Incredibly another chapter for you guys to read. I'm hoping for a huge amount of response to this chapter...so here's hoping.

* * *

From the time it took Monk to actually get home, he realized that Natalie hadn't been the one to actually drive him back to his home. It had been Sharona.

Now Monk had found it odd when he realized that Natalie was not there with him when he arrived at home, but it felt so familiar that he didn't say or mention anything.

Of course minutes later Natalie appeared in his living room.

But he was oblivious to everything but that of solving the mystery of who killed Michael Bakker. Looking into Trudy's eyes had all but confirmed to him that she had absolutely nothing to do with the death of her husband. Adrian Monk believed her. Everything else fell to the wayside for him. It was his one blessing. When he had a case he could concentrate on something other than his emotions. At least those having to do with one Natalie Teeger.

Of course Natalie and Sharona were sneaking suspicious glances at each other while Monk mulled over the papers and photos of his newest mystery.

Things were simmering just under the surface. Things were about to boil over, and in a way that would forever change his relationship with these woman.

* * *

The next morning came too soon in Natalie's humble opinion. Staying up half the night worrying about the man that had been her boss for the past six years seemed to be some sort of divine justice since most of her time knowing Monk had been spent trying to sleep through his late night phone calls - she now found herself desperately hoping the phone would ring with what she use to think were the most annoying little questions and requests.

Smiling to herself as she laid down in her bed, she couldn't help but shake her head and recall all of the late night phone calls that she had taken from him.

Slowly her smile vanished and was replaced with a look of anger as she pictured Sharona - today - in her chair...in Adrian's dining room. The way Sharona called him by his first name was driving her insane.

Even after all the years she had worked with him she had always addressed him as Mr. Monk or 'boss'. It was a true rarity that she called him by his first name. Only until recently had she really called him by his first name, and it was because they had become very...very intimate with each other. With this thought Natalie blushed profusely and tried not to think about exactly how intimately they had become with each other. Which was extremely hard to do. But still she tried.

Letting out a huge sigh she looked over to her alarm clock and saw the blue lights flashing 4:02 A.M. Blowing out her breath she realized she absolutely had to get to sleep. Knowing that she would have to face Sharona in the morning, she knew keeping her strength was going to be a must.

Slowly she relaxed herself enough to close her eyes to the point when she could no longer keep them open.

* * *

Monk had gone down to the jail cell to speak with Trudy and had left Natalie and Sharona with Randy. Of course both stayed on opposite sides of the huge office space. Every person in the room could see the tension between the two women. Bets had already been made on who would actually win in a fight.

Everyone though, didn't dare do or say anything that would cause the lionesses to strike. All except Randy of course...who was oblivious to the tension between the two woman. Randy didn't seem to notice the vicious looks shared between the two woman. If anything he continued to say things that would cause the two to stare daggers at the other.

"Remember that time that you left Monk at the cemetery, and then you went back half an hour later and he had been buried alive?"

It was like watching Randy pour gasoline into a bonfire! Noone could do or say anything yet they couldn't look away.

"You should have been there Sharona, we found Monk only because the captain noticed the stop lights weren't working because they guy had cut the power lines to it while he was digging the whole to bury the coffin."

Sharona felt confirmation that she had been right not trusting Natalie. Leaving Monk alone and helpless had almost cost him his life. Trusting _Natalie_ had almost cost him his life.

"Oh Natalie! Did I ever tell you about the time Sharona and Monk posed as a married couple to help my mom out. Can you imagine? Sharona had to share the same bedroom with Monk!! What a nightmare."

More stories continued to fall out of Randy's mouth. And with it both woman's eyes darkened with anger.

Natalie's jealousy, the possibility that this woman was in love with her Adri~ with Monk was causing her to want to lash out at the woman. Sharona's suspicions that Natalie was the recent cause of Monk's catatonic state grew to an affirmation after all the stories that Randy had just graced her with.

The next thing he said caused almost all of the people in the precinct to wince. And explosion took place after the 'compliment' he gave the two woman.

"As different as you guys are...after dealing with Monk *chuckles* you two really are almost the same."

It was as though Randy had wrung a wrestling bell.

And what would happen would shock all those there. Noone could possibly expect what was to happen next...not even Adrian Monk.

* * *

Author's Notes: You KNOW you want to red more! I want to know what you think the fight between Natalie and Sharona should be like! REVIEWS PEOPLE! The more reviews...the longer the chapter from now on!


	34. It's a fight!

Author's Note: Read this chapter and review it fast...because I have another chapter waiting for you!!! ------------------------------------------------------------

* * *

"I'm not trying to get Monk killed Randy."

The words came out of Sharona's mouth with such distaste that Randy realized in one second he had made a BIG mistake. He had never heard Sharona talk with such venom in her voice.

Natalie's eyebrows furrowed into an angry expression as she whirled around towards Sharona.

"What'd you just say?" Natalie's voice and body language showing her hostility toward Sharona instantly.

Sharona's eyes flashed with anger.

"I _said_ 'I'm not trying to get Monk killed!!!" Sharona repeated with all the attitude she could muster.

Natalie was dumbfounded had stupid Sharona sounded. To accuse her of actually wanting Monk dead was just absurd.

"ME?!! Aren't you the one that left him for dead six years ago!!"

Sharona's mouth dropped open at the accusation!!

"How DARE YOU!!! YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ME TO CHOOSE MY OWN SONS HAPPINESS OVER HELPING ADRIAN!!!"

The yelling match had begun and all were distancing themselves as Sharona and Natalie started to inch toward each other.

"MY GOD YOUR SUCH A LIAR!!! JUST ADMIT THAT YOU WERE AFRAID OF TURNING CRAZY BECAUSE OF HIM AND **THEN** TALK TO ME!!" Natalie shouted out with all the pent up rage in her as she whipped out the file she had in her purse and threw it on the floor in front of Sharona.

Sharona's mouth dropped even more as she realized exactly what the papers were. And if anyone had thought they had seen Sharona pissed off before...she was about to show them what kind of hell she could raise.

"YOU STOLE MY FILE FROM DR. KROGER!!! YOU REALLY ARE INSANE!!!!" Sharona shouted as she bent and picked up the papers from the floor.

"LOOK WHO'S TALKING!!! I'M NOT THE ONE THAT THINKS MR. MONK'S CONDITION IS CONTAGIOUS!!!"

Everyone that knew Natalie would never have guessed how angry she had become as the words continued to fall out of her mouth.

Sharona's mouth morphed into a snarl as she grit her teeth as the confirmation of her beliefs seemed to be affirmed.

"Listen here _Natalie_!!" Sharona said in a low and dangerous voice, her voice saying her name with disgust, "You may have everyone in here fooled...but Adrian is my friend. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you hurt him again. I know your the reason he regressed...I know you had somethin' ta do with it. So don't try and play all innocent with **me**. I'll protect him from you one way or another."

Natalie's blood was boiling as a blush came to her cheeks from the knowledge that she indeed was the reason he had become catatonic once more. But Natalie was almost livid at the fact that Sharona always called him Adrian...the fact that she was always touching him, and babying him. The idea that she was in love with him - and wanted to turn him against her WAS driving her insane.

"Don't you **dare **try and turn him against me!!! I've been by his side night and day for the past six years. I'm not gonna sit back and watch him crumble when you leave again. Don't you dare make him think that you give a damn about him!!" Natalie said as she came face to face with Sharona.

"DO YOU HEAR ME!!! Don't you dare try and touch or I will make sure you never get to hurt him again!!" Natalie yelled in Sharona's face and with a vicious shove knocked Sharona back.

It took Sharona a second to grab Natalie back and a few seconds for Randy to pull Sharona off of Natalie as she had quickly gotten the upper hand.

The captain came in a few seconds after the fight had started and quickly ran to pull Natalie from under Sharona.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!!!" Stottlemeyer yelled as he stared at Natalie's face and held her at arms length.

Natalie and Sharona stared each other down as Sharona had pulled herself away from Randy and had adjusted herself.

"I told you I didn't trust her captain." Sharona said the words as Leland had turned and looked at her for an answer.

Natalie again tried to launch herself at Sharona when Stottlemeyer and Randy quickly began to separate them before they could hurt each other further.

"This isn't over!!!" Sharona said as Randy pulled her out into the hall.

"Far from it!!" Natalie snarled back.

With that Sharona walked down the hall towards Monk as Natalie spun and walked into the captains office and slammed the door shut - trying to get control of herself once more.

* * *

Stottlemeyer stood outside his office starring at the door as he huffed out his breaths.

Turning around to where almost the whole department was staring at him - he told them all to get back to work.

He tried to compose himself, tried to figure out exactly what had happened, and came up at a loss.

Finally he thought he had given _her_ enough time to cool off.

Calmly he walked into his own office...where he found Natalie passing back and forth, still frazzled by what had just happened.

"Do you mind telling me what that was all about?" Leland asked with his calming voice, trying to sooth her anxiety away.

"I don't know." Natalie mumbled as she continued to pace back and forth...back and forth.

"Natalie.......I've never seen you like this. You're not a violent person." Stottlemeyer said as he stepped closer to her. By doing so he saw that she was crying.

"Are you ok?" He asked with true concern in his voice.

Natalie nodded frantically up and down as she cried...obviously not ok at all.

"Hey!" Stottlemeyer said as he placed a hand on her shoulder as she sniffled and blinked profusely as she tried to keep her emotions in check. It was no use though. Stottlemeyer found the situation odd...but...he enveloped Natalie into his arms for a huge...the first one that they had ever shared. One that Natalie took gratefully as she cried against the captain's chest and she sucked in her breaths and sniffled against him.

Stottlemeyer was a little unnerved by Natalie's actions.

"Everything's gonna be ok Natalie." Leland found himself reassuring her as he held her tight in his arms.

Unfortunately - for both of them - that's how Monk found them. Having walked in on them as Leland's head rested ontop of Natalie's.

Sharona was behind Monk with a knowing twinkle in her eye.

Monk though...he had an expression on his face like he had been slapped silly.

Natalie's eyes had immediately locked with his and as his eyes drifted off of hers and onto Leland's, she quickly pulled away from him.

Leland of course saw Monk's expression quickly go from shocked to outright anger.

"Now it's not what it looks like Monk." Stottlemeyer said immediately. He had no clue why he was defending himself...but every man knew that look. It was a look of ' you have touched the wrong woman'.

Leland had only seen Monk look at a man like he was looking at him right now. And it was Warrick Tennyson, the man that had planted the bomb on Trudy's car.

Natalie couldn't believe what was happening. She had been caught in another man's arms...a friend...but still..

Natalie dashed out of the room as fast as she could and down the hall to a restroom that was barely used.

Sharona though was on her tail instantly as Randy stayed to see if the captain needed help.

Randy was shortly to discover that it was the least of all their worries.

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Author's Notes: That's right! I wrote another chapter and your dying to know what's going to happen!!!HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I wanted to get it done before the new ep. with Sharona in it is out. I think everyone's in for a shocker!!! REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!! You know I deserve them!!!


	35. OMG!

Author's Note: Read this chapter and review it fast...because I have another chapter waiting for you!!! ------------------------------------------------------------

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Sharona quickly shot through the bathroom door behind Natalie and quickly locked it behind her.

Turning she quickly mouthed off.

"I knew you were up to somethin...but this is lower than I thought you could possibly go."

Natalie turned around with tears still running down her eyes and still managed to give a withering look to Sharona.

"You don't know what your talking about!" Natalie said and turned around to go into a stall, but Sharona quickly stopped Natalie by stepping between the stall and Natalie.

"What the hell do you think your doing??!!" Natalie snapped at Sharona.

"I wanna know what you did to him. And I'm not gonna leave here to you tell me." Sharona said as she crossed her arms and gave Natalie her stone stance.

"I didn't do anything to him!! Now move!!"

"Your lying!!! You did somethin and I wanna know what it was."

"I need to use the bathroom!!" Natalie yelled as her body screamed that she needed to go.

"You can hold it in for two seconds for God sakes! You're not pregnant or sick so give it a rest!"

And it was as though Natalie was slapped in the face.

Suddenly it was as though pieces of a puzzle she didn't know she had to solve had fallen all into place.

Her libido! Her wild mood swings today! Her need to go to the bathroom so urgently!

_Oh my God!_

"Who the hell do you think you are that you can tell me to keep away from Monk!! He's my friend!!"

And it just came out of her mouth. Almost as if her mouth didn't consult with her brain. With no real evidence she blurted out her new found reason...why she could stake her claim on Monk.

"Who am I?!! I'M THE WOMAN CARRYING HIS CHILD!!!" Natalie yelled out into Sharona's face.

And there it was. The words out in the world.

Sharona's face fell as the words slowly soaked in. Sharona's eyes showed some recognition of the words and slowly her brow wrinkled in shock. "Oh my God."

Then Sharona's eyes looked into Natalie's frightened blues and realized EXACTLY what Natalie had just said.

A face of utter shock and disgust crossed her face. "Oh my GAWD!!" Sharona said as her eyes went from Natalie's eyes to Natalie's stomach.

Before Sharona could say one more word Natalie quickly spoke.

"If you think for one second that I am just going to stand by and watch you take him from me then you're sadly mistaken. You better put up when hell of a fight because I love him more than you ever could and I am not gonna watch you manipulate him away from..."

"WHOA WHOA!!!! What?" Sharona's eyes continued to look down at Natalie's flat stomach and then back into Natalie's tearing eyes.

"Yh..Your pregnant?" Sharona asked with a wrinkled brow and plain shock. "Ha...How..." Sharona began to ask and then stopped.

Sharona's brain quickly drank in the words and quickly figured out what the hell Natalie was saying.

"Wait a second!" Sharona said as her face lit up with realization.

"You think...you think I'm - IN LOVE with Adrian?!!!" The actual thought so foreign to her that just saying it sounded ridiculous as a smile appeared on her face.

Natalie didn't let Sharona's smile fool her.

"I've seen the way you touch him and the way you talk to him!! Not to mention how you always call him Adrian! You look at him with this light in your eyes..."

"Natalie!" Sharona said with her hand held up in a classic 'stop' position and a shaking of her head. Looking up at Natalie with a lowered head she said words that made Natalie suddenly stop her tirade.

"Natalie...I'm not ~ IN LOVE...with Adrian."

"Your...your not...your not in..." And as she said the words she let out a relieved laugh as Sharona too laughed and smiled along with Natalie.

"No." Sharona said as she smiled at an incredibly relieved Natalie.

"I love Adrian like a brother. Nothin' more." Sharona elaborated more.

In that second both understood why the other had acted the way they had.

Natalie covered her face with her hand as her face flushed with embarrassment. "Oh my God!" Natalie mumbled.

Sharona again looked down at Natalie's stomach and arched a brow as she shook her head.

"Oh my God..." repeating Natalie's words...but for a very different reason.

Natalie too looked down and as she did almost fell to the floor.

Sharona quickly acted and grabbed her, walking her back to the wall of sinks and helped her lean against the counter.

Sharona quickly went into nurse mode and quickly grabbed some paper towels and wet them down and applied it to Natalie's forehead. Quickly assessing Natale's pupils and pulse by holding her wrist.

"When was the last time you ate?" Sharona asked as she looked Natalie over.

Natalie shrugged her shoulders as she honestly couldn't remember when she had. To say the least she had been very stressed out.

"How far along are you?"

It was of course this question that had Natalie blushing again.

"I don't......I don't really know if I am." She admitted.

Natalie saw Sharona's defenses going back up and quickly told Sharona the truth.

"I hadn't made the connection until you actually said it."

Sharona relaxed a little as Natalie continued to explain.

"I haven't really been regular for a few years because of all the stress," both shared a smile at the knowledge of what Natalie meant, " and I have been moody as of late."

At that Sharona huffed out a laugh.

"Yeah! You trying to shove me around the precinct more than proves that." Sharona said as she again lifted her hand with the wet towels and Natalie swatted her hand away because of the dig at her expense.

Sharona grimaced at her but slowly it morphed into a smile.

"Just because you haven't gotten your period this month...and sleeping with Monk - that doesn't mean your pregnant."

Natalie considered this but quickly knew that she was indeed pregnant.

"Well I haven't gotten my period for a while now."

Sharona made a hand motion that was universal for 'see'. Natalie didn't 'see' though.

"See you haven't been regular for months! Like yah said - you've been stressed out! Just because you slept with Adrian (Sharona grimaced as she said the words) once doesn't mean your pregnant."

Natalie's mouth opened slightly and slowly turned her face away from Sharona's sight.

Sharona shifted her body away as her mouth yet again hung open as she read Natalie's motion of embarrassment...now with ease.

"Oh my GOD!! Wa....Wait!" Sharona said as she held up both her hands this time. "You mean to tell me you've been with him...in...in that way.......more than once?" Sharona asked with a raised nostril and an arched brow.

Natalie let out her nervous laugh and quickly said, "Yeah...um...three times."

Sharona's mouth hung open so wide she wouldn't have been surprised if it hit the floor.

"THREE TIMES!!!"

"SSSHHHHHHHH!!" Natalie hurriedly hushed Sharona.

Sharona just looked at Natalie suspiciously.

"With Adrian? Adrian Monk?!" Sharona clarified.

Natalie was suddenly very embarrassed for the way she had been acting.

"Oh my God Sharona...I'm soo sorry for the way I've been acting. You really didn't deserve it. You were just protecting a friend."

Sharona smirked as she looked at Natalie. For the first time since meeting her she saw how nice and humbling a person Natalie Teeger could be.

Natalie's head was hanging down as she fiddled with a piece of wet paper towel in her hand.

Sharona smiled as she nudged Natalie with her body, causing her to look up and smile back at Sharona.

"It's ok!"

Natalie looked down again and nodded her head.

Sharona let out a huge sigh that Natalie too followed sweet on.

Again Sharona's face morphed into one of disgust.

"I never even thought Adrian was capable of actually..."

Before Sharona could even complete her sentence Natalie was laughing her classic laugh as she looked over at Sharona with a look that woman knew to be 'you have no clue how capable.'

Sharona's face again morphed into one of disgust as she turned away from Natalie.

"Sorry! Like a brother right?"

"Are you trying to make me throw up?!" Sharona said as she turned back around to find a happily smiling Natalie.

Sharona's grimace fell and she too smiled back.

It looked like she and Natalie had gone from foes......to friends.

All because of one Adrian Monk.

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Author's Notes: REVIEWS!! REVIEWS!!! REVIEWS!!!! -----------------I don't care if you hated it or loved it...I want to know! And I'm not writing one more chapter until I get at least ten. AND I MEAN TEN!! It's a nice eeevveeenn number!!


	36. Friendships Made

Author's Note: First off I would like to say that Mr. Monk and Sharona is now my favorite episode of all time!!! Second ONLY to Mr. Monk and the Kid, which was my number one until watching tonight's episode. I would just like to say that I'm pleased to see many of my own ideas play out in the real live show and am ecstatic about the dynamics created with the characters. It only confirms to me that I need to become a writer professionally - which would definitely be a dream come true. Unfortunately I don't know where to even start. If anyone is in the trade could you please drop me a line. I would love to write for a tv series but have absolutely no idea how to get my foot in the door. If you guys think I should really try to do this professionally let me know – would yah?!

* * *

Leland had quickly defused the situation between himself and Monk. Explaining to him how emotional Natalie had acted and that he had only comforted her 'as a friend'.

Really he had no clue why he felt the need to say it like that. For some reason he knew it was important in keeping Monk's friendship.

It wouldn't have mattered though. Because even though Monk was acting upset about discovering Natalie in Leland's arms, the truth of the matter was that he was still reeling from what he and Trudy had discussed. Playing the discussion over and over in his mind, he continued to mull over what she had said to him.

They had already discussed everything that he had needed for 'the case' and had been about to leave when Trudy had said something that made him stop in his tracks.

"So was that your wife out there yesterday?"

Monk froze and turned to stare at Trudy. It was look of bewilderment on his face that had made her continue.

"It looked like she was pretty upset when she came to pick you up and you uh....already had..a ride?" Trudy said yet asked a question she really knew she had any right to ask.

Monk had raised his shoulder as his normal nervous tick made him move in such a way. Hands twisting with the other as his nervousness and guilt suddenly hit him with Trudy's question.

"Natalie." He mumbled her name as he continued to look down at his hands and twist them tightly.

Trudy watched him closely and let out a small 'uh huh."

"She's not your wife I take it."

Monk said nothing but shook his head and again his shoulder twitched.

Trudy said nothing, waiting for him to make the next step in their conversation.

"My wife died." Monk said quietly as he continued to look down at his hands.

Trudy slowly looked down to the ground and nodded her head slightly. Getting exactly why this man was helping her, and understanding what kind of person he really was.

"Twelve years ago." Monk elaborated.

It was then that Trudy looked up with a sideways glance.

"And ah...am I to assume that some...thing is going on between...the two of you?"

It was then that Monk finally looked at her. Shock being the main reason, but realization that someone understood what was happening that wasn't a friend was the other.

Trudy smirked when she saw the almost scared look in his eyes.

"You're in love with her.......aren't you?" Trudy asked softly, almost as if she knew the words would frighten him.

Adrian didn't know what to say except the truth. Mumbling he said softly "I don't know."

Trudy's smirk became a soft smile. Looking into Trudy's eyes Monk felt as if the woman was reading his mind once more.

"Yes you do." Trudy again said the words softly, "You're just to afraid to admit it."

Adrian slowly made his way back to his chair in front of the jail cell.

Sitting down he tried to make himself comfortable - which was just impossible because of who he was.

Trudy smiled at him, almost in a disarming way...but Monk was not someone that was disarmed so easily. Trudy just had a way of making him feel able to talk to her, like they had known each other a lifetime.

"I noticed that you wipe down objects a lot with those wipes you carry." Trudy slowly eased into Monk. Certain that he was a very private man and that to just blurt out what she thought would have been a very bad idea.

"I'm ah...germ-a-phobic." Monk actually said out loud, realizing just how odd his illness sounded when he said it out loud.

"You're afraid of germs...or are you afraid of something hurting you?"

Monk just stared into Trudy's bright blue eyes - at a complete loss of words.

"Adrian......what scares you about germs?"

In all of the years he had been in therapy...he had never been asked that question.

"Of being hurt......by them." Monk stuttered out the words, as if he himself were realizing how absurd it sounded.

"Does it work? Being that afraid of them? Wiping down things and yourself? Does it make you not get hurt?"

The question left him with the only true answer he could give.

"No."

Trudy smiled softly at the answer.

"Being afraid isn't always a bad thing Adrian. But.....sometimes fear keeps us from doing the things we really want."

Monk looked into her eyes as if she had just given him hope. It wasn't a look that crossed his face often. Most of his hope had been shattered over the years by various things. But for some reason this woman was able to make him realize something for himself. It all came down to the next question that she asked him.

"Are you going to let fear stop you from doing...and being what you really want?"

Trudy watched Adrian become very inverted as he worked the question in his mind. Watching him do so she could only hope that he would remain communicative with her.

"I don't want it - to stop me." Monk said firmly if but hesitantly.

"Adrian, I need you to look at me."

Monk immediately turned his gaze up to her eyes. The brightness in her eyes almost like beacons for him in the mad sea that was his mind.

"I let my fear," Trudy started as she stared directly into Monk's eyes, "keep me from being with a man that I loved."

Monk saw the tears form in Trudy's eyes, making him realize that she wasn't lying to him...or trying to be compassionate. Gertrude Bakker was trying to keep him from making the mistakes that she herself had.

"I loved (chocking on her words as the tears began to clog her throat) my husband." Nodding her head as she closed her eyes and pictured him in her mind. "I loved him so much that I thought I would be betraying him if I loved anyone even a fraction as much as I loved him."

The detectives heart dropped as he himself realized that was exactly what he felt. That he...

Trudy opened her watery eyes and stared straight into the deep browns that now held her in full attention.

"But I was wrong." The last word wavering in her mouth.

"I betrayed him by not living _for_ him."

Of all the things that people had ever said to him - to move on, get on with his life, she would have wanted him to be happy. After all the excuses that people had given him - this was the only **reason** that he could ever see to keep going.

"Did your wife want kids?" Trudy asked softly, knowing that the subject was delicate even to her.

Monk began to tear up himself as he nodded slowly.

Trudy smirked through her own tears.

"Do you think she'd want you to have them?" Trudy almost whispered out the question.

Monk again nodded slowly.

"Adrian," Trudy again gained his attention, "if you loved her, you'd try and complete the things that she wanted for her - for you. If only so you can say that you tried to be the person that she wanted you to be."

That's what Monk had been left with as he had been interrupted by Sharona. Quickly he had regained his composure and had left with the angered woman, not even saying goodbye to Trudy as he had been dragged down the hallways to find Leland Stottlemeyer holding Natalie.

There was not much that he could have said to Leland to make him understand exactly why he was upset. First off...he himself didn't know _exactly_ why.

The captain saw that there was something off in Monk's all around demeanor. He didn't say anything though. Really he was afraid to cause Monk to have another breakdown. Obviously he was trying to keep Monk calm. Hopefully thinking that Monk was just getting use to being back in the game. Really he would have no idea what was going on for a huge while.

* * *

Natalie let out a huge breath and slowly brought her hand down to her stomach. A small smile graced her face as she thought of the possibility of her actually being pregnant. The only problem was that she only had the hunch that she indeed was pregnant.

Sharona looked over to find Natalie staring down at her stomach and realized that Natalie didn't really _know_ if she was pregnant. But after their conversation it sounded like it was a definite thing. Still Sharona was a nurse, and knew the importance of actually knowing how far along in the pregnancy she was would be helpful for herself and the baby.

Looking at Natalie and the blissful little smile on her face, Sharona knew she'd do anything to make sure Natalie and the baby would be ok. Even if it meant she would need to move back here permanently.

Sharona hadn't been lying when she said that she loved Adrian like a brother. After everything that she had been through with Adrian, she would be there for him - and as of now - it meant being here for Natalie as well.

The Jersey girl was witnessing right before her eyes just how much Natalie Teeger loved Adrian Monk. And it wasn't by the way she looked at him, or the way she talked about him. It was merely the smile on her face as she realized she was carrying his child within her. As a mother Sharona knew just how incredible a feeling it was.

Sharona pushed herself off of the counter and adjusted the purse that she constantly had on her shoulder. Natalie of course immediately looked up at Sharona with a questioning look.

Sharona looked at her with a blank look and then suddenly gave her a look of 'what?'

"Do you or you NOT want to know if your pregnant?" Sharona's accent making the question sound like a statement.

"Where are you going?" Natalie asked as she began to follow Sharona to the locked bathroom door as Sharona looked in her purse.

"I'm gonna buy some pregnancy tests." Sharona said as she yet again scuffled through her purse.

Finally it clicked for Natalie that she was looking for money and quickly pulled out a hundred dollar bill.

"Here. Buy at least ten." Natalie instructed as she handed the money to Sharona.

Sharona looked up at her with one cocked eyebrow. Implying to Natalie with that small gesture 'of course you want ten...your carrying Adrian Monk's child'.

Natalie's gave Sharona her classic don't mess with me look - one that was usually aimed at the man that had put her in this condition. Of course Natalie was not one to let Sharona get away with the look that she was bestowing upon her.

"Don't judge me." She said and quickly started shoving Sharona out of the bathroom before Sharona could talk back.

Sharona found herself on the other side of the locked bathroom door. About to open her mouth and shout something she stopped herself as her scowl became a smirk. One thought leaped into her head.

_She just might be perfect for him._

With that she turned and huffed out a breath and quickly making her way down the hall and out of the precinct.

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Author's note: Because of all of the reviews I decided to put down a longer chapter. Hope you guys enjoy it! Of course as always the more reviews the faster - and BETTER the updates!! REVIEW!!!


	37. A Friend In Need

Author's Note: Sorry about the wait people! I'm getting a little help from one of our friends here on to see if we can clean up my act!! And some mistakes :( But hopefully you guys enjoy this chapter.

* * *

Julie stared at the phone. Everything inside her telling her to pick it up and call her mother and let her know what had just happened. Yet there was a part of her that told her that if she did she would endanger her mother and Mr. Monk.

Julie rolled her eyes. In college and she still was acting like a little kid. How was she going to handle this?

The thought repeated in her head over and over. Unsure of what to do she continued to stare at the phone, hoping against hope that it would ring and spare her any kind of decision.

Julie jumped up when instead she heard knocking at the front door.

Her heart beat doubled as fear and adrenaline rushed through her system.

Feeling John's grasp once more on her mind brought her back to a few hours ago. The memories so fresh in her mind it was as though a phantom figure were holding her against itself.

Slowly she approached the door and looked out to find a face she never expected.

Opening the door she couldn't help but feel relieved at the person's presence - confusing as that was.

"Hey Julie. Is my mom here? I though she was..." Benji stopped when he saw the look on Julie's half hidden face.

Something about the way she was hiding herself behind the door and the frightened look in her eyes made him forget all about finding his mother.

"Are you ok?" he asked with concern in his voice.

Benji watched Julie try to control her breathing, as she slowly allowed the door to open wider.

"Yeah...I mean...of course I'm ok. Why wouldn't I be?" Julie said, using her acting skills to try and cover up the panic that had taken hold of her emotions. She tried to smile with confidence, tried to exude as much joy as she could - but Benji saw right through the facade.

Maybe it was years of growing up around a world famous detective, or maybe it was the fact that besides only knowing her a few weeks - he could tell when she wasn't being herself.

Blue eyes met his brown with fear and helplessness hidden in their depths that made Benji realized that whatever was wrong...it was big. Something that she wouldn't willingly share with him because she didn't know him that well. Still...it left him aware that he couldn't just let it go. Well...at least not really let it go.

"Ok." Nonchalantly the word left his mouth.

Julie seemed almost taken aback by his dismissal of her actions, but then quickly tried to hide her shock - even though her widened eyes had given it away. Shrugging she began to ease and slowly opened the door wider.

Trying to play it cool, Benji shrugged his shoulders and let out a small sigh. "I'm gonna guess my mom's not here? I mean - I don't hear any loud voices or yelling...which usually announces her presence before anything else." Benji smiled as the words left his mouth, trying to make Julie laugh.

Julie was surprised to find herself smiling at Benji's attempt to make her laugh.

"Well...I guess I'll see ya 'round." Benji said as he began to turn and leave.

Panic surged up in Julie and a wild "Wait!" left her mouth.

Benji spun around immediately at the urgency he heard in her voice.

Julie again had to try and compose herself. Trying to come up with an excuse to have Benji stay. Finally her mind kicked in and with relief in her voice she alleviated the thought from her mind.

"If your mom's with my mom we could just call my mom's cell and see where they are."

Benji stood there in thought for a second before he nodded his acceptance at the suggested course of action to take.

"That sounds good," Benji said as Julie opened the door wider to allow him entry into the house, "Mom's cell is turned off. I keep getting her voice mail. Calling your mom is not a bad idea."

Julie let out a sigh as she watched Benji stroll into the dining room. Watching him for a few seconds more she realized that she needed to get a grip. Maybe she could fool Benji...but her mother was a different story. Julie wasn't willing to risk her mother's life because she couldn't handle the situation she had been placed in.

Slowly Julie closed the door, hearing John's words repeating in her mind.

_One word...and bad things can happen._

_

* * *

_

Sharona had quickly walked out of the station and ran down the street where she knew all to well a pharmacist to be. Quickly she had bought 10 pregnancy tests, all different brands. Not taking long for paying, as the pharmacist clearly understood the urgency to the purchase, Sharona quickly dashed out of the pharmacy and back to Natalie who had kept the bathroom door locked.

Knocking rapidly Natalie answered with, "Occupied!!"

"Natalie open up! It's Sharona!!"

A second passed before the door opened and allowed Sharona access to the bathroom once more.

As soon as Sharona turned to face Natalie, Natalie was making motions with her hands in a 'come on' motion. Sharona handed the bags to Natalie and before she could utter a word Natalie went into the nearest stall.

It was only at this point that it really hit Sharona just how big a moment she was a part of. Suddenly the idea of a little Adrian running around hit her full force. The thought scared her immensely.

Natalie had had the same thoughts while Sharona had been buying the pregnancy tests, but Natalie had seen how Adrian had taken care of little Tommy; watching with tears in her eyes as Tommy and he had rolled around on the ground and laughed in merriment. It had almost destroyed her watching how Tommy had kissed Adrian over and over as he had been taken by his adoptive parents.

Natalie let a tear drop from her eyes as she imagined a little boy with Adrian's eyes and her smile running around playing with his daddy. Heart fluttering at the thought she tried to fight off the tears that threatened to escape her.

Natalie exited the stall and Sharona was instantly by her side.

"How long does the box say to wait?" Sharona asked even though she had ripped the box from Natalie's hand to read it for herself.

"Three minutes."

"You just took the one? Don't you think you should do all of them at one time."

"No! One at a time. If we do them all at once we might mess up reading them." Natalie quickly explained.

Sharona nodded her head, almost in agreement. Natalie placed the test on a wipe on the counter and then stood back along side Sharona. Natalie grabbed Sharona's arm and stared at Sharona's watch.

Time ticked by so slowly in those three minutes. Both women almost holding their breaths as they watched the secondhand on Sharona's watch slowly circle around.

As the second hand finally swept past the six, both sets of eyes landed back on the test.

Both stood still for a second before moving towards the counter.

Looking down both saw only one line.

"One line?" Natalie questioned the results.

Sharona quickly lifted up the box and looked over the instructions.

"It says that one line means..." Sharona's words died as her brow furrowed and her face dropped.

Natalie whirled toward Sharona. "What? What does one line mean?!" Not waiting for a response Natalie snatched the box away from Sharona. Sharona watched as Natalie's eyes finally found what they had been looking for.

Sharona grimaced as she lifted her hand and rubbed Natalie's shoulder.

Natalie just stared at the two words.

Not Pregnant.

Sharona could do nothing as Natalie began to cry as she continued to stare down at the box.

Natalie tried to fight back her tears, trying everything to keep the disappointment from overwhelming her.

Tentatively Adrian Monk's former nurse spoke softly with a voice that tried to comfort.

"Maybe we should try some of the other tests. You coulda' just grabbed the bad one out'a the bunch."

Natalie sniffled loudly as her nose began to drip and her tears began to clog her throat, nonetheless she nodded her head.

Sharona watched as Natalie began to crumble with a sympathetic look on her face.

It was only a few seconds before Natalie turned and hugged Sharona as Sharona opened her arms to hold Natalie.

The Jersey girl with attitude held Natalie as though they had been friends a lifetime - as if not just half an hour ago they weren't trying to beat the crud out of the other. Funny how things work out. Having come back to San Francisco to take care of Monk, she had never considered having to take care of his 'assistant'. Unexpected as things had turned out for her, Sharona knew that she was needed here more than ever. Even if it was to hold a woman that didn't know how much she wanted to be pregnant - until she found out she wasn't.

"Everything's gonna be ok." Sharona said as she held onto Natalie who squeezed her even tighter after her reassurance.

Even after the words left her mouth, Sharona knew that it would take a long time before things really were.

* * *

Author's Note: If I don't get reviews after this chapter....I'm doing something incredibly wrong!!! REVIEWS!!! Need them! Want them! Are you going to give them to me?! REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!


	38. A Clue Found

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay! My father had a heart attack the day after Christmas and I spent New Years eve and day at the hospital. As you can assume I have had other obligations to fulfill

* * *

Details never escaped him. If it were one thing that he could count on, it was that details never escaped him. Even after all the years of catching criminals and the devious ways they try to commit crimes, Adrian Monk would find the details to put those who deserved it...behind bars. If anything sometimes he felt that even though he was a complete mess at times, he was better than the people that had tried to kill and hide all evidence of their indiscretions. Yet they didn't realize one thing.

Details never escaped Adrian Monk.

After all of the cases that he had ever solved, year after year of countless little facts swimming around in his head, the one thing that now alluded him was nothing more complicated...then his own feelings.

Absurd to those who did not know Adrian Monk, but not to those who had been in his life long enough to realize that despite being a brilliant detective, Adrian Monk was horrible in social settings. Things that others take for granted - like how to tell a joke, or go bowling - these little social standards were lost on him.

Needing that social interaction- the overwhelming desire to try and fit in had always kept him from truly understanding just how very different he was. Feelings of insecurity, and at some times a severe inferiority complex continually made him try to please others, only ever wanting a friend that wanted to be around him.

Those were the type of feelings he was use to. At the moment though, it was one of the last things on his mind.

Gertrude Bakker - Trudy - his newest client had given him a wake up call on his own feelings, that he himself was not aware of. Well...not that he wasn't aware of some feelings, but not the feelings that she had accused him of having.

_"Yes you do." Trudy again said the words softly, "You're just to afraid to admit it."_

Trudy's words repeating in his head over and over.

Was that the truth? Was he afraid to see Natalie with the same eyes that he had looked upon his wife's? Would he be able to still love Trudy and love Natalie too? Why was he so afraid of the possibility?

The last question to himself disturbed him more than the others, because he realized in that instant...that he indeed was afraid. Problem being is that he didn't know exactly what he was afraid of!

"Mr. Monk? Are you ok?"

Monk turned to find Trudy behind him, being accompanied by officers on either side of her.

"What's going on?" Monk asked as his personal troubles were pushed to the wayside as he saw the scared look in Trudy's face.

"We're suppose to escort her to San Quentin." One of the officers answered.

"What?" Monk stood up from the chair he had been sitting in, "No. Wait! The Captain said that she was to be held here..."

"The mayor himself requested the transfer." The other officer responded, cutting off Monk's protest.

"HEY! HEY! What's going on here!" Stottlemeyer said as he rushed over to Monk's side, his timing perfect.

"The mayor requested the prisoner be transferred to San Quentin and booked for Murder in the first degree." The first officer said as he handed Captain Stottlemeyer the paperwork that allowed him authorization to do so.

Captain Stottlemeyer stared down at the paper with his mouth open in his usual shocked manner.

"I didn't kill my husband!!" Trudy said just barely below yelling, and her eyes suddenly went behind the captain to the white board that normally held all of the unsolved case photos.

"Oh my God!" Trudy cupped her nose and mouth. "It's Carmen!"

Both Monk and Stottlemeyer turned to stare at the board and then back to Trudy.

"Who?" The Captain asked he too stared at the photographs.

Trudy approached the white board and touched the photo.

"You know her?" Adrian asked as he too approached Trudy.

Trudy's eyes showed her shock as she nodded her head.

"Isn't that the woman that was killed in the park? We couldn't I.D. her or find any witnesses." Stottlemeyer remembered as he took the picture off the board and toward Monk.

It took Monk a second to recognize the woman. He remembered that day all too well. It was the day after 'it never happened' between he and Natalie.

"She was found under a tree in one of the local parks."

Trudy shook her head, trying to rid herself of the image that she had just seen.

"Her name's Carmen Herrera. My husband use to play soccer in the park with a bunch of friends. She use to come with her boyfriend every Sunday to cheer for him. I haven't seen her in 10 years." Trudy said as she looked over at Monk.

Stottlemeyer turned to the two officers, "Sorry guys! I'll inform the mayor that Ms. Bakker is a material witness myself," Stottlemeyer began as he pointed with one arm towards the elevators to the gentlemen officers.

"I can't believe it!" Trudy began as she stared once more at the photo of her deceased friend.

"Trudy," Monk began softly, "was there anyone that you know of that could have possibly done this? Maybe her boyfriend?"

"No. They broke it off when he had to move back to Brazil to help his father with his business. But...Carmen was incredibly sweet. Everyone loved her. I have no clue who would want to hurt her."

"What did she do for a living?" Stottlemeyer asked with a furrowed brow.

"She was a housekeeper. I don't know what agency she worked for but...I know Carmen was working for a Judge when I last saw her."

As the words left Trudy's mouth both Leland and Adrian looked at each other.

Monk turned back to look into Trudy's eyes.

"A judge? Who?"

Trudy shook her head. "I know that it was a female judge, by the way Carmen talked about the judge...but - I never heard the name."

Randy had been at his computer typing away the name of one 'Carmen Herrera' and was hoping that someone had reported the woman missing.

"BINGO!" Randy announced as the computer spit back the information he needed.

"Carmen Herrera! Reported missing four months ago by one cleaning agency Shine On Services located in Bayshore."

"Looks like we're taking a little trip!" Leland exclaimed with a little smirk. He was enjoying the fact that not only was he keeping Ms. Bakker, but they finally found a clue to crack a case that had left him looking like an idiot to the mayor.

"Ms. Bakker, I'm going to need you to come with us to see if you can identify anyone that you know or might have seen with Ms. Herrera." The Captain explained.

Trudy nodded her head, understanding what was needed of her.

Monk again looked at the picture of Carmen Herrera on the white board and felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Something inside him telling him that this wasn't an average case. That this one might be more...than meets the eye.

* * *

Author's Note: Again I'm sorry for the delay and for the shortness of the chapter! Please review and let me know that I wasn't rambling or if the chapter was written poorly. My mind is running a mile a minute on so many things that its hard to stay focused!


	39. Missing Something

Author's Note: Ok get this people. Last Monday my father was back in the ER and let out Tuesday...then on Thursday readmitted.......ALONG WITH MY MOTHER!!!! Yah...that's right....both of my parents are now sick! Life SUCKS!!!! So I'm extremely sorry for the HUGE delay...but to say the least I just have not had the time!

* * *

Having returned from the Cleaning Agency both Adrian Monk and Leland Stottlemeyer knew that they had just stumbled upon something big.

Judge Catherine Lavinio. That's who Carmen Herrera had been working for. The name had been familiar to Stottlemeyer…but Monk quickly remembered who the judge was.

It had been the Judge that Dale "the whale" Biderbeck had murdered.

Now both Stottlemeyer and Monk knew that a whole new box of worms had been opened.

"So Carmen Herrera was working for Catherine Lavinio a year before the Judge died. Nine Years later she ends up dead in a park with no purse or evidence to be able to identify her or link her to any suspects. Biderbeck is behind bars for kiling Catherine Lavinio and we don't know how Herrera or IF Herrera was connected to anything in the first place."

Monk grimaced. It didn't make sense.

"Why wait all this time? I mean Biderbeck would have done something sooner than this if she was a threat to him. Why after 8 years?" Randy asked intelligently.

"Maybe he couldn't find her...she knew he was after him..." Leland began as he gestured around with his hand as he usually did when explaining something. Of course he never got a chance to complete his theory as Adrian quickly butted in.

"Nnnoo! That's not it." He said as he bit his lip. His head tilted from one side to the other as his mind tried to connect the pieces.

He began to re-exam the photograph of the dead woman and tried to see something - something that maybe...just maybe he might have missed.

"All we know is that she was definitely not killed at the scene...she was most likely killed somewhere completely different and dumped at the park." Leland summarized everything that they knew.

Monk approached the photograph even closer than before and tilted his head in that oh so familiar way. Both the captain and Randy approached and tilted their heads as well....trying to see what Monk was trying to see. Of course neither of them did.

Slowly Monk's eyes flashed with an epiphany.

"She wasn't dumped."

As the words finally penetrated the captains mind he began to shake his head.

"Well I don't think she was..."

"She was!" Monk standing straight up and turning to look at Leland.

Pointing back towards the photo he began his explanation.

"Look at the way her body is positioned."

Both Leland and Randy looked at the photo and noticed how the body was laying on her side with one leg bent back and one arm almost seeming to hold her up.

Leland and Randy just stood there...trying to figure out what Monk was trying to say.

Finally Monk understood that the indeed didn't see what did.

"Most victims that are dumped are found on their back or face down...but...not on their sides..."

The words took awhile to permeate in Leland's mind before the little gleam in his eye of realization was visible.

"We thought because of the way the body was covered with leaves and twigs that someone had been trying to hide the body...when someone was actually trying to...flaunt it." Even as Leland said the words it sounded odd. But the way that Monk twirled back around and pointed at the picture he quickly stepped closer, forgetting his discomfort at his words.

"Look at the leaves."

As they looked at the picture Monk began to explain.

"There's leaves everyone...all except under her body."

Randy tried to grasp what it meant but couldn't seem to come up with anything. But the captain understood.

"He cleared out the leaves so he could place her directly on the grass."

Randy couldn't help himself...he needed to ask the question, "What does it mean?"

Monk's eyes switched from Leland's to Randy's and then back to the captains.

"It means that the killer took his time placing her there. Placing her body just so. No defensive wounds on the body...just the injection hole we found." Monk brought his hands together with just the tips of his fingers touching.

"Whoever killed her knew her...intimately enough to not have her fight back."

"But who would want to kill Carmen?" Gertrude asked from behind Randy.

Monk looked over at Gertrude with a furrowed brow, biting his lip and then slowly shaking his head.

All let out a long sigh.

"There's got to be something else...I mean we're obviously missing something big here." Stottlemeyer said.

Monk turned back to the photograph...knowing that the Captain was right.

* * *

"Are you sure she doesn't know anything?" A masculine voice asked over the phone.

"Not a clue. As far as everything else is concerned I've disposed of the evidence that could link to you. You won't be bothered with this." Another man's voice answering the question, as he pressed the phone to his ear.

"DON'T underestimate Monk! You may think you've taken care of everything...but he always manages to find something!" the voice growled out.

"Yes sir."

"Keep Natalie wrapped around your finger at all costs. Without her Monk is useless."

"Yes sir."

"And if she happens to find out anything..."

"I'll take care of it Mr. Bidderbeck."

"Good." Bidderbeck's annoying voice returned as he hung up the phone.

Closing the cellphone the man turned and stared at the closed bathroom door and smirked. The best blackmail he could have ever had behind the closed door would insure he would be able to keep Monk from ever finding out anything at all.

Turning the man went entered the elevators...an evil smile still on his face.

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry for the short chapter! I wanted to get something out so you didn't think I was not going to continue! On the contrary I hope this little chapter makes you guys eager for more! So REVIEW!!!


	40. Interesting Find

Author's Note: I'm sorry it's taken so long for an update! I'm actually writing this at 10 P.M. where I live so I can try and get SOMETHING out to you guys! Hopefully you guys forgive me for my long absence! Hopefully it was worth the wait!

* * *

Something didn't fit!

Monk tried to push away the connection to Biederbeck...but it was no use. Everything in him was telling him that Biederbeck was indeed connected to the murder of this young woman.

They had been standing around asking Gertrude everything she knew about Carmen...in the end it only left them with more questions and little to no answers.

It was in one of those moments that Randy was giving his bizarre idea of what happened, and the Captain trying to entertain Randy and his 'idea', that Monk again stared at the picture.

Suddenly...he realized something.

"Trudy...you said Carmen had a boyfriend that left for Brazil..."

"Yeah. But that was years ago."

Turning his head he motioned for the captain to come closer.

Leland approached with a furrowed brow as Monk pointed something out in the picture.

"It looks like she has an indent on her finger," Monk pointed to the hand, "like she had an engagement ring or wedding band on her hand."

Leland's eyebrows furrowed even more as he examined the photo, barely seeing anything at all.

"You can see she has an indent on her finger?" Leland asked curiously as he bent his head even more, trying to see the evidence that Monk was pointing out.

"So..." Randy began, not really knowing what came after. Only knowing that not completing a sentence caused Monk to finish it for you. Which he did.

"So that means that Carmen either recently was or was going to be married."

And that...became the clue to unlock all the rest.

* * *

Natalie couldn't help but let the tears fall. She hadn't expected to feel this way. Then again the idea of actually being pregnant had only hit her less than an hour ago.

Now she was mourning the loss of a child that had never been - in the arms of a woman that she had considered her enemy not but an hour ago.

Sharona slowly pulled away from the embrace she had Natalie in.

Natalie's eyes were cast down as tears dropped to the floor.

Sharona let out a huge sigh as one hand continued to rub Natalie's shoulder.

"Are you ok?" Sharona asked quietly.

Natalie couldn't raise her head to look into Sharona's eyes, so she just nodded her head fractionally.

"I don't know why I'm so sad...Adrian isn't ready for a child. He isn't even ready for a relationship." Natalie said the words with a hint of anger and sadness twinging the words.

Sharona again let out a huge sigh. Slowly a smile came to her lips.

"I donno...you managed to do the horizontal mambo with him more than once. That's gotta mean he sees you more than a friend!"

The joke made Natalie look up at Sharona...and for the first time...Natalie laughed.

Sharona seeing that she had managed to make Natalie forget about not being pregnant continued to try to make her laugh.

"He didn't put on his bathing gloves did he?"

The joke caused both to laugh at the idea.

"He's more than capable of touching me without the gloves." Natalie said with a smirk forming on her face.

"AAAah NATALIE!" Sharona shrieked as she grimaced at the very disturbing image that entered her mind.

The look on Sharona's face of course caused Natalie to begin to laugh again.

"Are you trying to make my skin crawl?" Sharona asked as she shivered from the hebee geebies.

Natalie looked down and caressed her stomach, where she thought a new life had begun, and couldn't help but wonder just might would have happened...if it had been true.

* * *

"Have you been able to find her last known address?" Stottlemeyer asked Randy.

"No Sir. The last address she had listed was a house purchased by a couple..." Randy looks down at his desk covered with papers and shuffles some around until he finds a sticky note, "Mr. and Mrs. Donahue."

Stottlemeyer's eyes squint as he begins to think.

"When did they purchase the house?"

"Four months ago."

Both Stottlemeyer and Monk look at each other, silently communicating that it was no coincidence that the home was sold barely before Carmen's body was found.

Monk cocking his head asks a question that causes Stottlemeyer to see where he was going.

"How close did she live to the park where her body was found?"

Randy looks at Monk in mild confusion, then turns and leans towards his computer and types and clicks to find the answer Monk requested.

As Randy looks at the screen his eyes open wide.

"She lived right behind it!"

* * *

"You messed up Joey! Now because of you we've been exposed. You know Mr. Biederbeck doesn't like to be exposed. How do you think he's going to like it when I tell him why the cops will be showing up to question him?"

Joey swallowed down the sudden dry lump that was forming in his throat. He was thankful that he indeed had left when he did and was talking to the other person with his cell phone instead of face to face.

"I took care of it. Everything points to the fiance."

"Good. Because if you messed up..."

"You can count on me. I'll make sure everything goes away." Joey answered to the unspoken threat.

"See that you do." With that the line went silent.

Joey swallowed and closed his cellphone. It was time to visit an old acquaintance.

* * *

Author's Note: Don't Kill Me! I promise...updates will FINALLY be regularly updated!


	41. Connection Made

It took all of twenty five minutes to reach the house. It took Monk less than five to realize that the couple living there had absolutely nothing to do with Carmen's death.

Even then, Adrian Monk knew that somehow – someway – this home was connected to the puzzle pieces of solving Carmen's death.

When Monk began to walk around the home, while the captain continued to 'interrogate' the couple, did Monk see something very interesting.

"Captain!" Monk exclaimed as he examined the wall dividing the office and kitchen.

Captain Stottlemeyer quickly excused himself and sauntered over to Monk.

Monk was already pointing to the spot where he saw something unusual.

"What is it?" Leland asked as he stared at the wall.

"Look…" Monk said as he smirked as he again pointed at the small bit of wall.

Stottlemeyer did look, and saw nothing out of the ordinary.

"I don't see anything Monk."

"Mr. and Mrs. Donahue, have you redecorated since entering the home?" Monk asked as he walked back towards them.

The couple looked at each other then back at Monk.

"We didn't really need to, everything was to our liking. We just purchased some new curtains and sofa's…but no. Not really."

Monk smiled, which kind of freaked Randy and the Captain out as it always did.

"Why, may I ask," Monk said as he turned back to the wall, "Didn't you remove the only piece of Wallpaper in the room?"

At that everyone looked at Monk as if he was crazy.

"Uh…" Stottemeyer began, "Monk! What wallpaper?"

Monk again pointed to the wall that he had been standing in front of.

Everyone stared at Monk as if he was crazy. Fortunately for Monk - he was quite use to it.

Extending his arms up in the air he motioned around the room.

"The whole house is painted in a white semi gloss," Monk stated and then lowered his arms and pointed with one hand to the partition, "this wall has a white flat finish. It's actually one huge piece of wallpaper."

Everyone looked at Monk in a kind of shocked horrific incredulous way.

"You can tell the difference in white paint?" The Captain asked with the usual sarcastic yet dumbfounded tone that he usually adapted when he discovered another one of Monk's weird yet funny quirks.

Monk just shrugged his shoulders. "It looks completely different."

The Captain just smirked and nodded his head. "Of course it does."

Monk then proceeded to knock on the wall until about waist high in the middle of the wall the distinct thud of metal being hit was heard.

Monk looked sideways to Stottlemeyer with a little smirk. The captain reciprocated and then turned to the owners of the home to ask for permission to see what was behind the wallpaper.

Within the next few minutes the huge piece of wallpaper was destroyed. With it's destruction revealing a small metal door with a notch for allowing to open the small swinging door.

When Monk opened the door all of them became confused at the sight of a stack of folders with papers filling them excessively to cause the folders to bulge.

Randy, Leland, and Adrian stood rifling through the pages upon pages.

"What is this?" The captain asked as he continued to scan the papers.

Monk knew exactly what it was.

"Judge Catherine Lavinio's case files."

Both Randy and Leland looked confused.

"Why would Herrera have the judge's files?"

Monk shook his head. "I don't know."

"Well these papers make no sense..." Randy said as he handed Monk the file that he had been going through.

As Monk took the file his eyes scanned few pages before he gasped.

"Oh my God." Monk mumbled.

"What? What is it?" Leland asked with eyebrows raised.

Monk looked up from the documents he was holding.

"I know what was going on. These are names and figures... of people sold."

Again both Leland and Randy didn't understand what Monk was talking about.

"Human trafficking."

As the words left Monk's mouth Leland felt sick to his stomach. The sudden understand of what all of the things that he had been looking at suddenly making his stomach heave.

"So...the judge was part of a human trafficking organization?" Randy asked completely stunned at the idea.

"I think she was more then part of it," Monk turned the pages towards Randy and Leland, "I think she was the one that arranged all of the shipment of the 'merchandise'. See right here..." Monk pointed to the list of names and numbers, "these are names, ages, and values transported."

As the information sunk in only two words escaped the Captain's mouth.

"My God!"

Monk just stared and pages upon pages of figures. The urge to rush home and scrub his body until he was bleeding overcame him. The knowledge of something like this occurring made him feel disgusted at even knowing such information.

"So what does 0.9 mean?" Randy asked in a scared whisper.

"Nine months." Monk said in a whisper, almost as if the words were to be spoken louder would cause an earthquake.

It was then that Stottlemeyer's eyes began to indicate that he had noticed something.

"Waitaminutewaitaminute! Look at the initials listed as the person paid!"

W.S.

Those were the initials listed.

"Now look at the initials at the bottom of who paid for all of the shipment!"

D.B.

Dale Biderbeck

Monk's eyes scanned the page quickly...his mind racing. Trying to find someway of deciphering who it was. And that's when he saw it.

The address of where the 'merchandise' was being picked up from.

"My God..." The words almost whispered out of Monk's mouth.

A connection that he had been searching for soo long shows up in a place he never would have suspected.

"I know who it is."

Stottlemeyer and Disher turned to stare at a watery eyed Monk.

Both never expecting the turn of events that were about to unfold.

* * *

Author's Note: Please forgive me for taking a lifetime to update. My father was diagnosed with Dimentia and have literally taken over his business for him, along with helping my mother who has been in and out of the hospital herself. Please be patient...I have not forgotten about this story...my obligations have just changed. I appreciate those who have still encouraged me to continue the story and have followed me to this critical point. Thank you again!


	42. Hope

Monk knew the address all too well. It was where he got the news that would shatter his world. It was the place where he would learn that Trudy was in a car bombing.

Palgrove Birthing Center.

W.S.

Wendy Stroud.

That was the name of the woman that had gone missing twelve years ago.

Monk's mind was spiraling.

The case he was currently working on was somehow connected to Trudy…his Trudy...everything in him was screaming it.

Stottlemeyer had been shocked mute once Monk was able to verbalize what the address on the paper was.

"This case is connected to Trudy." Randy said slowly as he figured out why both men had suddenly become so quiet, his eyes jumping from both of the male figures.

Leland nodded his head fractionally as his eyes stared at the ground as he tried to make sense of what they learned.

"Monk…" Leland began.

But Adrian's mind was racing. All of the clues that he had acquired…everything…all of it was adding up in his mind for the first time in so many years.

"Trudy found out about the babies being sold…that's why she was concerned about Wendy Stroud disappearing."

"Monk….what are you talking about?" Leland asked as he watched Monk unraveling in front of them.

Monk's eyes weren't focused on anything as he realized exactly what had happened.

"Trudy must have been close to uncovering Biderbeck's trafficking…but how?"

Again, it was Randy that would lead Monk to what he had been so blind to see. And he of course would do it in the form of a confused question.

"Well how would you be able to transport this many people with out going through borders?"

It didn't take long for Monk to answer as his eyes had been staring out the window where a huge storage container sat in the driveway across the street where a family was moving.

Monk turned and stared at Randy before whispering the word.

"Boats. My god…boats."

Leland was trying to figure out what Monk was talking about when it suddenly hit him.

"Oh my god the dockworkers."

Monk nodded fractionally, and Leland was ready to pass out.

"Monk that means…."

"That means that Trudy had been working on this for five years before she figured out what exactly her Pier Pressure article had really uncovered." Monk interrupted Leland.

Leland shook his head trying to find any kind of evidence that could actually prove what they had just said.

"Monk we have no evidence…"

"Brazil." Monk said as his mind was connecting things they should have connected earlier.

"Huh?!" Both Stottlemeyer and Randy said.

"Brazil! Trudy...Miss Bakker said that Carmen's boyfriend had gone to Brazil to help his father with his business!" Monk exclaimed as he tried to make the connection understood.

But the look at the two faces before him let him know he had not succeeded.

"Frank Nunn had been living in Brazil for 8 years before coming back to the states when Biderbeck hired him to kill the governor that wouldn't commute his sentence."

It took a second for the information to sink in before Leland could respond.

"We still have no evidence…"

"Trudy can identify Nunn, she told us that her boyfriend would play soccer with Carmen's boyfriend every Sunday."

The words gave them all a bit of hope.

* * *

Natalie and Sharona were finally leaving the ladies room. Natalie too distraught to really notice everyone's eyes on her. Of course she had way to much in her head to pay attention to anything but her crazy thoughts.

The idea of a child, a baby had been terrifying and for a few brief minutes had been the only thing she had wanted more than anything.

It really was absurd the way she had wanted it to be true.

But what kind of life would that be?

They didn't really even have a relationship. How could a baby bring any good to the situation that she found herself in?

Natalie tried to keep the tears from gathering in her eyes as the thought of being in love with him and never having the emotion returned back to her.

All physical things aside, they had so little in common to actually base a relationship off of.

It was a doomed thing from the start.

"Hey..." Sharona bumped Natalie's shoulder to get Natalie out of her inner thoughts, "are you sure your up for this?"

Natalie looked over at Sharona and didn't even try to put up a pretense.

Natalie shook her head no and tried in vain to not cry again.

Sharona didn't even think twice as she pulled Natalie into a sideways hug, keeping them moving away from the staring police officers around them, and out the door.

"I'm soo sorry sweetie." Sharona said as she leaned her head over to nestle on top of Natalie's.

Natalie sucked in air after some of the silent sobs left her body.

How did things get so complicated so fast?

Sharona helped Natalie into her car, knowing that she didn't trust Natalie to drive at the moment.

Then's when Natalie's cell phone started to ring.

The sound jarred Natalie enough to bring her back to the here and now.

Whipping out the phone she looked down at who was calling.

Her eyes widened when she realized it was Julie. Picking up the phone she quickly answered.

"Julie honey I'm sorry..." But Natalie never got to finish as Julie explained that Benji had been trying to get in contact with his mother.

Natalie looked over at Sharona. "Benji's been trying to call you. He says your cellphone is turned off."

Sharona scrunched up her face and immediately grabbed her purse from the back seat where she had placed it.

Digging into the purse she found the phone.

"It's not turned off...the battery's dead!" Sharona said in exasperation.

"Julie. Sharona's phone died honey. Does Benji need to talk to his mom?" Natalie tried to sound upbeat even as the headache from crying too much started to pound in her ears.

Natalie handed her phone to Sharona.

As Sharona began talking to Benji on the phone, Natalie continued to think about all that was happening in her life.

In the short time she had known him he had come so far. He was getting better.

Somewhere along the way the had become more than friends. More than colleagues. How many people were willing to risk their lives for their colleagues?

Somehow, someway the annoyingly precise and kind man had stolen her heart.

God help her.

* * *

Author's Note: I KNOW I SUCK! I'm SORRY! Life has been sucking lately and I'm just now getting my grove back. I don't know when I'll update next. But hopefully everyone enjoys this chapter. As always...please review!


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